HELP....15 mo old nursing all night!

[Harry's mom]

I have a 15 mo old son who nurses every time he falls asleep. He sleeps in bed with us every night. He wakes 5-6 times every night, and will only fall back to sleep if I nurse him. I want to fix the problem, but I don't know how. Should I do PU/PD or should I just sit next to him while he screams it out??? He is amazingly Strong willed, and I am flat out scared to tackle this horrible problem that I have created. I feel hopeless. I am soooooo tired, and I am sure the little guy is too! Does anyone have any suggestions?? Thanks!

[Lucy's mum1]

I dont know really know the answer but I just wanted to give you some support as I know how you are feeling... I have been there with even more wakings when my LO was younger - could be 12-15 times a night between about 5 months and 9 months old sometimes!!!  I fixed most of the problem with PU/PD when she was about 10 months old and now she goes about 8 or 9 hours at night without waking. A massive improvement but my problem is now that she wont go back without being breastfed or rocked or given warm milk in a cup at about 4am so need to crack that one too. Not sure how to with a toddler as she is now 16 months.  All I can say is I never thought my LO would go to sleep without breastfeeding and now except at this one time in the night she will do...  I think what people say is right, you just need to be consistent and remember when they are crying that you are teaching them independent sleep which is for their own benefit.  I know I need to listen to the advice too, its so hard when its your baby and you feel so tired. 

anyway good luck, I hope you get the help you need, xxx

[Florencia]

Hi Harry's mom!

I totally feel for you. It's awful not to get a decent and straight night sleep. You're totally entitled to and it's doable.

I'm gonna need extra info to come up with a plan like,
1. What a typical day looks like for Harry, what time he wakes for the day, what time he feeds, how much does he eat.
2. Is he breastfed during the day? will he drink milk from a sippy?
3. Do you want to solve the breastfeeding at night only or would you like to remove him from your bed also? it is perfectly ok if you plan on keep on the cosleeping.

Basically, the plan is stopping cold turkey from bfing him at night. You just stop offering your breast and at the beggining he will try to pull your shirt up and will squirm and fight you for that. That's why i was asking about the cosleeping because if you have a partner or a memeber of the family who's willing to help you, this could ease the transition, cause the he won't expect the breast from someone else (or won't be able to smell/touch it) and will be easier to soothe in that way. You have to make sure he's eaten fine during the day so he won't be thristy or hungry. The first couple of nights will be awful and he'll resist but you (or the person who helps you) have to be very firm and not give in. You (or the person who helps you) have to be prepared for a sleepless night and to calm him with patting or another comfort method (PU/PD) and reassure him that he's not being abandoned, repeating him it's night night and we need to sleep, or a shshing tone so he doesn't feel left alone but also setting the record straight that he's not getting any milk.

If you're planning to remove him from your bed, you might want to try at the same time, taking advantage that you're teaching a new way to go to sleep (without the boob). Yep it's not easy but it isn't easy to be waken several times during the night either. So, there's nothing to loose. I agree with the PP repeat to yourself over and over that you're not torturing lo, but helping him to find a new way to soothe and go to sleep.

I'll be waiting for your response in order to suggest a more detailed plan of action. Good luck and take care of yourself cause weaning from several night feeds can result in engorgement for you and even some fever/weakness. Be sure you've got some help for house chores or for someone to help you take turns during this week at night.

Good luck!

[Harry's mom]

I just want to say "thank you" to both of you nice and caring mommys for posting words of encouragement for me. I really needed that support, and I am pleased to say that Harrison has put himself to sleep by himself for a day and a half now!! YIPEE!! He screamed the first night at bed time, and through the night, but I sat next to him and said, "night night, I love you." Tonight he fell asleep without crying!! I really can't believe it. really! Once he gets used to this plan I will gently transition him out of our bed into a big boy bed in his own room. I have some "fine tuning" to do until we finally get into the clear, but there is some improvement, and that is what I needed!! Oh, he took a two and a half nap today, and he has NEVER done that. I feel like we are also falling into a better schedule too!! Thank you for the support, and the gift of understanding what I am going through!!

[Florencia]

YAY that is such GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!! you must feel so fresh!!!!!! sounds like a great improvement! and the hard part is over! Just keep up the good job, be consistant and remember to peek in if you need encouragement or advice. We'll be happy to hear your progress and it will also be helpful to other moms who might have a similar issue.

Congratulations again!