Fed up with standing over cot pattin in the day -then give up and bring downstai

[georgyporgysmum]

I've been obsessively read these boards since I was pregnant and have just plucked up the courage to ask a couple of things..

I am also constantly deflated when mums are asked their EASY routine as my DS isn't really on one and I feel like I've completely failed at it (although was in his newborn period until he started to not sleep like a newborn anymore).

He's 12 weeks
first 'day feed' anytime from 6am to 9am depending if he goes back to sleep or not then
having hungrier baby SMA every 2.5 to 3 hours
bedtime routine between 7.30-8.30pm asleep by 8-9pm
5pound 9 at birth - massively catching up over last 4-6weeks
possibly approaching another growth spurt now

thought he was angel until about 6 weeks, is content really alot of the day and has a very thoughtful pensive face that people find funny so he's not miserable but a bit philosophical, maybe a bit of grumpy (doesn't smile alot but 'thinks' and watches), a bit of spirited (shouts aggressively when in his frantic kick mode in the cot and needs alot of calming down and wind down for night), can tolerate alot of noise and activity going on, can be handled by different people, doesn't really cry unless there's a valid reason (and more extensively overtiredness), crys when waking from every day nap (whether successful or unsuccessful) but happy and cooing when waking from night sleep
 
sleeps well at night (own room now) after a new bedtime routine of bath-swaddle - bottle (music, dimmed lights)- dummy- cuddle-put in cot drowsy(i know - its AESY but it works!), generally asleep within 20 minutes with some patting.(although addicted to dummy with a couple of night time replugs

I feel like i'm rambling but have  a feww seemingly random questions...

how drowsy is drowsy when you put them down to sleep?

I feel like I'm cheating because he's generally eyes open/rolling when I put him down successfully at night.If I put him down awake he will not cry but kick/ wide eyed/frantic panting/arms flailing and he therefore has to be very calm to be put down.

What is this frantic wriggling about?

When will his arms stop flailing about?

Why is he crying more frequently and more hysterically as he gets older?

Do growth spurts make them miserable and moany?

Does anyone else feel they would like to cuddle them to sleep every now and then?

I know the advise will be EASY routine for the day naps, but why can he usually only sleep 10 / 20 /40 mins (with only the occasional 2 hour chunk in am or pm)?

I know this is very long so I'll stop but have many more questions!!!!

I feel like crying somedays and other days I think he's doing fantastic with his sleep....today is not good.

Thanks!!!!!

[Richelle]

OK,

12 weeks is very common for growth spurts.  It can make them 'moany', just try roll with it and get as many calories in him in the daytime as possible.

He is not napping longer than 10/20/40 minutes because he is not falling asleep on his own so cannot resettle between sleep cycles.

I am assuming he isn;t swaddles or he wouldn;t be flailing his arms, I would start swaddling it will help with the jerking.

Besides swaddle I would use pat/shhh to calm him to sleep once he is in his crib.

The arms flailing and wriggling about is he is overtired, please check out the easy forum for a sample routine for a 12 week old and try to structure your day a bit more for starters.

Don;t despair and get upset, he will have good days and bad, just like us.  The whole point of BW philosophy is to read your own baby and follow their cues to ensure a nice balance with eating and sleeping and then time for you.

and Do have any of Tracy's books?

HTH for a start,

Richelle

[georgyporgysmum]

Thanks for your reply Richelle....believe it or not I have read and reread both BW books - I suppose I've taken useful bits from it but not really doing the whole approach (perhaps missing out the harder bits!). Implementing it is harder than I thought.

I've been attempting to sleep train DS since birth with not holding to sleep etc, but 12 weeks later I'm still doing it so I feel like its taking forever, he just moved into his cot in his room for naps about 4weeks ago, but even when he was in his moses basket in our lounge it was the same problem but feels worse now as i'm running up and down the stairs all day.

He is swaddled at night (can't sleep at night without swaddle), but can get out of a swaddle if frantic enough. I'm a bit paranoid about him overheating in the day in the swaddle as its been a hot summer in London this year, also I'm trying for him to associate swaddle with night time. I might buy one of those special swaddles with fasteners.

I heard that they spend the first 3 months sorting out night sleep and the second (to 6 months) sorting out day sleep. I know I could be more structured in the day but I am out doing things some days (for my sanity), I want him to be stimulated outside /other people and environments, and not stuck with him only being able to sleep in his cot. I know I want my cake and eat it too!! When we're in all day I try to do the regular nap thing, but he seems better at napping whilst we're out and about (car seat / buggy etc). He also seems to do better with a couple of big naps rather than one in every feed cycle, from newborn he is capable of staying awake from one sleep cycle to the next and wont sleep, hes even stayed asleeep for a record 7 hours in a row before!!

I might try swaddling in the day again, I got so depressed yesterday when I saw my friends 14 week old be put in his cot wide awake and be asleep within 20 secs with not a squeak, not even a wind down routine! And my sisters 4 children have all been mega-angels, so I was hoping that would run in the family. Neither of them have routines due the amount of children they have, the babies just have to go along with everyone else- and they do! They told me stop reading books and guides, so I'm torn between approaches!

Thanks again

[Richelle]

I really think that YOU need to decide wether or not you are ready to follow a routine and have your LO sleeping on his own.  You are right that having your cake and eating it too doesn;t generally work out for anyone.

For me, I decided to give up some things (well alot actually) for my DD's first year in order to for her to have her naps etc.. in her crib, I figured that it was only a year and by the time she was around 8/9 months she was pretty adaptable.  Sleep is very important in order for a baby's brain to grow and I found I was willing to give up some things to achieve this, whether or not it helped I probably will never know but it felt right to me.

I personally had friends a family who were wingers and everything worked out for them and they have wonderful bright babies and children, I really think that you need to make the choice for yourself.

HTH,

Richelle