BF is becoming TOUGH!!

[ethan's mommy]

hi there,

my son is almost 6 months old (born april 6) and he's become soooo tough to bf. he squirms, comes off latch every few minutes, pushes my breast away with his hand (he's not trying to push it away but wants to push his hand against something and when i try to move it elsewhere, he puts it right back on my breast!), pushes his feet against the chair or my legs, etc.

it's getting me sooooo frustrated and i keep thinking that it's time to switch to bottles and formula (i can't pump ANYTHING anymore!) but i really would rather he be bf till he's a year old.

is anyone else going through the same thing? do you have any tips for me so i am not constantly shifting his position and fighting against his hands and feet?!?! he seems happy enough when we're finally done so i assume it's not a supply problem.

thanks,
jenny

[Peek-a-boo]

I have this problem!  My LO is spirited and nearly 9 months and he does a lot of what my husband calls "free style" nursing--sometimes standing on my lab jack knifed over to get to my breast. 

Several thoughts--

1) First, he may simply be a much more efficient nurser so he doesn't need to nurse as long.  The goofing around may come after he's full, but you are encouraging him to continue nursing.

2) It may help to feed in a quiet dim room without distractions so he can focus more on nursing--less popping off.

3) Try laying something nice to touch between the two of you or on top of your breast where he tries to grab.  I bought one of those little blanky / stuffed animal combos intended to be a lovey.  It has a very soft toy, a soft blanket side and a satiny blanket side and trim.  It is very nice to touch and sometimes he will grab/stroke that rather than me.  Maybe try just holding his hand or letting him hold your finger also. 

4)  If he gets too squirmy and is starting to make your nipples sore--end the feeding when the squirming starts.  Maybe offer again in 10 minutes.  I've done this with biting and usually he's not interested in eating after the ten minutes, which leads me to think that a lot of this behavior comes when he's done really eating.  I think they can finish a breast in 5 minutes or so by this age.  If you try this, just be a little flexible and make sure that you respond if he does seem truly hungry later.

Good luck!

Bethany

[ethan's mommy]

Hi Bethany,

Thanks for that! I will test your suggestions tomorrow.

It seems as though one of the things causing him to squirm initially is he's become impatient with letdown. He still squirms once it happens but pops off every few SECONDS before he's getting milk. Which leads me to the dream feed. I just got back from doing tonight's dream feed and the first part was AWFUL! He totally woke-up, bobbed on and off, and then started falling asleep so I went to put him back in his crib and he started crying. So I switched sides and he started to feed and then I felt milk dripping on the other side. I guess letdown finally happened on that side and it was freely dripping...and I had no cloth handy!!! So I switched sides and he fed well.

Anyway, I'm just starting to feel like the dreamfeed is becoming disruptive to his sleep but I don't want him waking in the middle of the night if he's truly hungry. Is it worth it to test it one night and see if he's getting enough during the day and therefore I can delete the dreamfeed? I know it's early b/c he's not on full solids yet (he's on cereal 2x/day and just started veggies 1x/day), but I can't pump anything to give him a bottle and bf'ing during his sleep is proving difficult!!

Thanks,
Jenny

[Peek-a-boo]

Hmmm . . . I'm relatively new to BW so I never did a dreamfeed, so I'm not sure how to answer that question.  Personally, I think that a lot of six month olds can sleep through without waking to eat, so you could try eliminating it and see what happens--if it's becoming a hassle, I'd personally rather deal with feeding him if he woke because of hunger.  That's not a BW sanctioned answer, however.   

I think they usually recommend that you gradually decrease that not abruptly  . . . I'm not sure.  I think this link explains how to wean the dream feed.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65750.0

If you're not getting anything when pumping this suggestion won't help much, but could you pump a bit before going to df so that he doesn't have to wait for you to let down?  Have you tried pumping while looking at a picture of your LO (that helps me a lot) or while he's feeding on the other breast? 

I hope some one who knows about dream feeds will come along and answer for you!

Bethany

Bethany

[RachelC]

Jenny,
Take a look at the link Bethany suggested with regards to the df.  We started weaning the df at 6/7 months

[JaimeC]

Hi ethan's mum!
Benjamin is nearly the same age (born april 25). He feeds just the same, so be encouraged! he seems to like punching my breasts like they are boxing bags! and pulls away if he hears any noise at all. He is very distractable, can't really feed him any place other than in his bedroom, where its quiet and the lights are dimmer.  In the last 2 weeks or so, lying in the 'traditional nursing hold' I don't know what you call that, but in australia is called the 'cradle hold', across my tummy, head in the crook of my arm etc  seems to be ok for the first 5 minutes or so, then he starts squirming, pulls off, latches back on for a few sucks, latches off etc. So what I have started doing is then lying him flat on the bed, sitting next to him and leaning over him so my breast is hanging right over his mouth, he then latches on and feeds for about 10 minutes very happily. ITS TERRIBLE FOR MY BACK THOUGH!! ha ha.  I think its a bit of a modification of the 'football hold' position, which he is too big for now. 
ANyway, none of thats any real help! just wanted to let you know that someone else is going through the frustration too! Of all the things I have done in my life, I am most proud of breastfeeding, it is so much more difficult than I thought, and I have wanted to give up so many times!  but you just have to keep going one day at a time, HURRAH!
~ Jaime

[ethan's mommy]

thanks so much for this everyone! it's great to have bf'ing support out there. i just get so frustrated every now and again and think i should switch to formula but then i read all about the benefits of breastfeeding and decide to stick it out. it's nice to know that ethan's not the only baby who's an active feeder!!!

oh, and just to let you all know, i decided to cut out the dream feed cold turkey. i didn't wean it back like it says in the book. i just 'played with fire' one night and wanted to see if ethan was getting enough without that last feed. the first night, he woke at 1:30am but was only kind of whining, not crying at all. so my husband went in and ethan was asleep within 20 minutes and slept right till 7am. i would have fed him if he was crying, but that wasn't the case!

the 2nd night he didn't wake at all and now he's back to sleeping 11-12 hours through the night. i've noticed he's staying on longer at the last feed too so he caught on quick!!

our days are so much better now that we're just bf'ing 4x (7/11/3/7). he's always been an angel/textbook baby and has pretty much adapted and gone with the flow from day 1. so, although we were extremely lucky and i didn't have to inch back the dreamfeed slowly, i can't say that would work for everyone. just thought some people would be interested to know that it can work.

thanks again.
jenny

[RachelC]

So glad to hear things are going well 

[Jenifer]

Ethan's Mommy - I'm having the same experience with my daughter.  She is getting real squirmy and fussy, especially at the 7pm feed.  I keep saying to my husband "What is going to happen when I cut out the dream feed because she doesn't eat well at her last feed of the day?"  I'm hoping she'll start eating better at 7pm, like your son did.

I'm hoping to cut out the dream feed by the end of this month.  I currently feed her from both sides, so I think my gradual approach will be just doing one breast for a week or two then stop cold turkey and see what happens.

As much as I look forward to getting rid of this feeding and going to bed a little earlier, I think I'm going to miss it.  I'm going to miss being with her one last time before bed and also this has always been my favorite feed.

Do you miss it?

[ethan's mommy]

hi jennifer,

i thought i was going to, but alas, i don't. ethan started being squirmy even during the dreamfeed so i was thinking that it was just waking him up too much. it was my favorite feed though b/c he was so angelic!! but i hated having him partially wake when he looked so peaceful sleeping. and sometimes he would fully wake and then cry when we were done and take a few minutes to settle in his crib again and i just couldn't figure out how that was helping him any with getting a full night's sleep.

i'm actually much happier now that he's only bf'ing 4x/day. he's also on solids 3x/day so i know he's getting enough food and if he was hungry, he'd be waking through the night. but i have never been one to fully enjoy breastfeeding. i'm doing it b/c i know the benefits are soooo great. it was a bonding experience at first but now it's more of a struggle to try and get him to stop moving and stay focussed on feeding. i won't give up! might have to re-evaluate when teeth come in though!!!!!!!

jenny