What am I doing wrong??? Please help...

[MaddyMI]

Hi Everyone,

My daugher is 8.5 wks old and I've been doing EASY since about 4 wks, but I still feel like I'm flailing.  I had her on a pretty decent 3 hr EASY during the day, but the nights sort of fell apart - it was really hard to do cluster feeds and I've been afraid of the DF.  I'm wondering if 3 hours is too much for her.  She was born at 5lbs 5 oz and at her 8wk checkup was 8lbs 2oz.  Should I try for 2.5-3 hours?  I've noticed that eating and activity time take about 1 hour or so for her.  I try to swaddle after about the 2nd yawn and sometimes she'll put herself to sleep, but lately it's the staying asleep that's been hard.  She seems to wake erratically - anywhere from 30min-1 hour.  I can usually get her to sleep again in my arms, but putting her down wakes her up immediately (even if I wait longer than 20 min). 

Then, at night, I can't seem to get a routine down.  I try to cluster feed every 2ish hours, but sometimes she's just fallen asleep - do I wake her?  About the DF, she's not one to eat unless hungry.  I tried a DF last night and she woke up, ate and fell back asleep.  She still woke up 3 hours later to eat though.

I also feel like I'm not able to read her cues well lately.  I feel like her rooting reflex is disappearing, so it's getting harder to tell if she's hungry when she wakes up.

Also, my nanny is starting next week.  My ideal 3 hour schedule for her would be to eat at 6a, 9, 12, 3, 6, 8, 10p.  That way, I could feed her at 6a, noon on my lunch hour and the feeds from 6p and on.  But, if she needs to eat every 2.5, that's fine, but I would start my day around 7a then.  UGh, what should I do???  Everyone says to follow their cues, but i feel like I'm not even able to do that right!

Thanks for reading if you got this far, I would appreciate any advise.

Maddy

[* Paula *]

Hi Maddy,

Welcome to the boards.  Hugs, I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time.

Please can you post your current daily routine i.e. E - (Bottle / Breast), how much / how long, A - how long, and what you do, and your wind down routine, sleep - rocking, white noise etc and how long she is currently sleeping.

If you post this, it will give us more of an idea - from the sounds of things I would think that your lo is over tired, but would need to look at your full routine to be able to tell.

Paula x

[Jazmyn]

I understand where you are coming from.  I couldnt get my baby to cluster feed at all.  He also didnt do the full nap time so I would just do another little activity time until his next feed.

And as for evenings, well forget it. 

[MaddyMI]

Our routine is not very well established yet, but this is a rough version:

E- 6:30a - (Breastfed at all by 3ish feed)
A
S-7:30 -sleeps pretty well here

E- 9:30a
A
S 10:30 - sleeps well for about 1 hr, then needs to be put down again, does ok

E - 12:30
A
S 1:30p - usually not so good for this nap, wakes after 30min-1 hour, yawning/falls asleep being held, wakes in crib, ends up in swing

E- 3 to 3:30p
A
S -4

E - 6p
A - I try to keep her awake here, but she gets tired/fussy if I try to make it the next feed
S- 7/7:30

E - 8p
A - usually brief
S-8:30p

E - I try a DF around 10/10:30, but sometimes she wakes hungry anyway

Lately she's only been eating from one side too, not sure why.

Maddy

[* Paula *]

Maddy,

Your routine looks good.  With regards to your 1:30pm nap, have you tried pat / shhh to get her back to sleep.

I would definitely suggest a cat a nap and then bringing your bedtime earleir.   You could also try clusterfeeding, doing the first cluster feed after the cat nap, then bath as A time and then clusterfeed again, and then start your windown routine to put to bed.

If you are able to tank your lo up with the clusterfeed, you may find that she will sleep through the dreamfeed.

HTH

Paula x