Arg - 16mo was good sleeper, waking at night for milk

[gwc1023]

We have followed BW methods along with some of our own routines, etc for both our kids since discovering BW when our first was tiny.  My question now is my 16 mo dd  - she was sleeping through 7-7 since about 12 months, but in the last month or so has started waking basically every night for milk.

The first time this happened she woke around 2 or 3 am crying and crying (we generally leave her to settle herself unless we can tell she's really awake) and when I went in there, she was frantically signing 'milk' and 'food.'  She seemed so desperate I got her a snack and some milk and she did this for a couple of nights.  I don't know forsure if she really was starving in the beginning but now she wakes every night between 2 and 4ish and the only thing that will settle her is a sippy of milk.  I definitely admit I"ve been doing some accidental parenting here as in addition to my two we have temporary custody of my 11 month-old niece and I am also 12 weeks pg, so have been feeling awful the past month or two.  At that time of the night when I feel soo sick it's just been easier to hand her the cup and find my bed again.   

She eats well during the day and has a few sippy cups of milk during the day, including a bit before bed.  She naps for about 2 hours after lunch (just went to one nap in the last month, hoping that would help the problem, but no).  She has a little stuffed animal and a blanket with her that are her 'lovies.'  I've also given her a sippy of water to keep in bed with her in case she's just thirsty, but if I try to give that to her in the night she throws it and asks for milk.   

When she wakes it is not a screaming cry, just a sort of on/off whining/fussing, and I always leave her a while to see if she'll go back to sleep, but eventually it's clear she's not going to.  I know I need to deal with this before it gets even more ingrained as a habit, but I'm not sure where to start.  She's definitely a toddler now and just stands up in her crib and says 'milk' when that's what she wants, it's not like I can comfort her back to sleep.  I'm not sure what to do - I didn't have waking issues with my son after a year!

Thank you for your help!  I'm off to check out any posts I may be able to help with!

[Florencia]

Hi Dawn and congrats on your pregnancy!

My first question here would be about your dd's eating habits. You mention she has "a few" sippys of milk throughout the day so this might be part of the problem.There's a lot of controversy about milk intake for a toddler but some experts claim that 16 oz in a 24 hour period is all they seem to need. Anything more than that and that intervenes with eating habits. Some other experts claim 24 oz to be the top but you have to play by ear how much Abby is really needing. If she's tanking herself up with milk she might be loosing apetite for other solid (and stronger) types of foods and this might be intervening with her hunger which manifests in the middle of the night, when there are no other distractions. So my first suggestion is to make sure Abby only drinks from 16 to 24 oz milk a day on 3 rations tops. If you give a sip here and there that will also mess with her apetite. SO try and make 3 sippys of milk as a maximum throughout the day. Try and give a snack after dinner and just before bed that includes calcium, it could be tofu, a banana, orange juice with calcium... that might help her have a full belly to hold through the night.

When and if she wakes in the middle of the night asking for milk, let her know it's not meal time. You can talk about this during the day, how daytime is for eating and playing and nightime is for sleeping. Play with her dolls like: oh dolly's awake, but we're not giving her any milk cause it's still her sleep time... that way when she wakes asking for milk, you'll get her to understand is not time for drinking milk but in case she's thirsty, she has her cup of water.Yes it will be draining the first couple of nights and she might be up several times just to test you cause she's already stablished the link between waking and getting some milk so you're gonna have to be very determined and consitant with it. Just a brief pat and a good bye as much time as needed until she finally finds out she won't be getting any milk. Since she had good sleep habits in the past, this shouldn't take more than a week, if you keep consistant.

Let us know how you get on. Keep us posted and good luck!

[gwc1023]

Thank you!  I don't think I've ever really calculated how much milk she drinks in a day, as we do let her have it out of the fridge basically when she asks for it.  She does seem to eat a lot, but maybe she'd eat even more if she didn't drink a lot of milk.  I'm going to try and keep track today of how much she's actually drinking.

We have started getting her to say 'night-night' to her milk when we put it in the fridge at night and remind her that she can't have it in bed, but I guess it doesn't have so much effect when I still give in.      I will have a talk with DH and make sure we're on the same page on this to really be firm on not letting her have it.  I really need to sleep through the night again!

Thanks again for your help - I'll post back how it's going!