Not too sure where to go from here

[CarterCallummom]

Hi,

My son will be 26 moths old soon and I am not too sure what to do about the night wakings.  He wakes about 8-10 times a night!  It is very tiring.  I am not too sure what the problem is, as we taught him from the time that he was born to soothe himself to sleep.  It seems that once he was completely potty trained, when he had to use the washroom (or use it as an excuse) that he would get up, do his business and then return to bed.  The problem is that it is my bed, not his.  I usually put him back in his bed but sometimes I am so tired (it seems we can fight for 2 or 3 hours before he goes to bed now for some reason as well) that I do not even hear him come into our bed.  Any suggestions??  I have heard of WI/wo but I am not too sure what it entails completely.  Would this work for all problems?  Some nights there is no problem (if we make a promise for the next day if he goes to bed like a good boy etc) but other nights he will go to bed great only to start waking an hour later.  He also gets up to play and does whatever it takes to turn on the lights.  We took everything out of his room but he uses his dresser drawers now to turn them on.  He does have his toys in his closet.  Is this a problem??  He used to nightwake, having nightmares but those seem to have disappeared now with this to replace it.  Sorry for such a long post but I am so tired!!  I have a 7 month old as well so it makes it hard to only get 1 or 2 hours of sleep every night.  I really need some advise.  I know that his diet is a big issue as well (he can not have any sugar or he has nightmares) but we try and be really careful.

Thanks,

Cailey

[mari]

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
Firstly, does he wake only to use the toilet?

If after using the bathroom he just automatically gets into your bed then you will have to consistently take him back to his own bed and tuck him in, give him a kiss and go back to bed yourself. 
I know that you are tired, but the second he gets wind that you are a pushover and will let him come into your bed then he will try it all the time, but as soon as he realises that he has to get back into his bed then perhaps the novelty of going to the toilet ever coupple of hours will wear off.

Walk-in Walk out is a method of showing children that we will be there for them when they need us but for now they must go to bed as it's time to sleep.  If he cries for you, go in, check all is ok, then leave the room.  If he cries again, count up to 15 then go in, when he stops crying go out again and so on.
Night wakings can be traumatic, I know, not so long ago I sat on the end of my bed listening to my LO crying for the 10th time(Ithink) with tears streaming down my face as I thought that I was going to strangle her!!! Thankfully I didn't and we are all fine now and getting a good nights rest (mostly) Please hang in there whatever you think will be the best method, please be consistent, how ever hard it might seem now, it will be worth it in the longrun.
PM me if you need to, I will try to help with whatever you decide to do.

[murkywaters]

We just went through that here too.  It's not fun to say the least.  I remember one night I had just had enough and it was either hurt him or leave him to cry.  He cried for 20 min (I still feel horrible for it) but it was one of the last times he did it.  I found that he also was feeling a little neglected during the day.  He very independent and I have a 3 month old that screams when you put her down, so he mostly just did his own thing and I held her.  I realised that he was feeling a little left out even though he was right there with me he wanted some of those snuggles too.  So a few times a day we sit together and have special us time. 
With a baby I know things get very bussy. You may want to look back through the day and see if there were times he came up to you and you sort of brushed him off.  At night he knows the baby is in bed so you can be all his.

[CarterCallummom]

wow, all of that advise really helps.  It's funny when you really start to pay attention to what the problem maybe, there is always more than one problem.  I never really thought about the attention thing.  I have just started working from home and that could be a really big thing (as all of my day was dedicated to playing with my children, whereas now, I still play but just not as much as I had time to do before).  I also know I can be a push over onve I just get too tired and it is my fourth night with no sleep but I will try.  Thanks so much!!!  I think that this will really help!!

Cailey

[mari]

I hope that you get to have a better night tonight Cailey.  It's hard to try to reason with them in the middle of the night when you know that you could wake your other LO and then have 2 of them awake at the same time uuurgh!
Murkeywaters, I understand where you are coming from with your feelings during the middle of the night, nightwakings can be so stressful, we get so tired and it's something short of torture!! Glad you managed to stay calm and took it upon yourself to give him the extra attention that he needed at a more reasonable hour!!  I know that crying for 20 minutes probably wasn't the best solution but he is now getting the extra 'snuggles' that he needs.

A new LO can be so traumatic for older siblings and I remember Nathan found it hard to settle when Alex came along, but not immediately, it was around the 5 month mark.