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Author Topic: How do you drop a night feed? (updated)  (Read 3300 times)

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Offline momof3girls

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How do you drop a night feed? (updated)
« on: November 28, 2006, 17:41:17 pm »
So I've finally had it with waiting for Ellie to give up the night feed on her own, and I'm going to take matters into my own hands.  The question is, how do it go about it?  I was planning on doing wi/wo, but will that just make her really mad when she's used to being picked up and cuddled?  Accidental parenting, I know :-[ but if she wakes and it's not time for a feed, I've still been getting her out of bed and taking her downstairs for a cuddle on the couch - it's just been easier than listening to her cry.  So she's in the habit now of falling back to sleep on my lap.  I know she doesn't really need the feed, and she's probably not getting much anyway, so I was hoping she'd just give it up on her own, but it's not happening and I'm I'm tired of being tired.  Any suggestions?  Is wi/wo my best bet, or is there anything else that's worked for others?
« Last Edit: December 12, 2006, 17:31:16 pm by momof3girls »
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Allison


Offline momto2princes

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2006, 18:48:12 pm »
Hi there,
I would say there are two ways:
1) cold turkey and let her cry it out (not a fan of this choice)
2) continue with the night time feeding but cut is back by 1-2 minutes every few nights. This is the longer process but hopefully she slowly get use to not having her belly filled at night and figure out there is nothing to get up for.

Good Luck

Jasmyne
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Offline Samuel's mum

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2006, 21:24:31 pm »
I'm not sure what the pp meant by 'cry it out' but just to clarify that what's known as 'crying it out' is not something we advocate here at BW as Tracy felt it broke the mother/baby bond so instead she taught us methods such as Wi/WO which the original poster is clearly familiar with. (The PP might not have meant CIO at all but I just feel I should clarify - hope that's OK)

momof3girls - What are your nights like at the moment? How often are you feeding and at roughly what time? And how often might you be going downstairs?

I would say that your plan could be:
1. Cutting the breastfeed shorter as the PP said and ensuring she's awake and settling herself back to sleep when it ends.
2. Settling her back to sleep with your presence or patting or whatever might work - accepting that she might be unhappy about this but be there for her.
3. Using Wi/WO - but that's quite a leap from what you've been doing so I'd be tempted to suggest a transition first where she always stays in her room and you comfort her in her bed. Then when you move to do Wi/WO go over to her and briefly comfort her as you always have (perhaps develop a key phrase like 'sleep time now' which you can later use without physical contact) and then WO and just try and withdraw the amount of time you spend in there with her.

She's going to be confused if things change so I would say try and phase changes in over time. However some LOs do respond to moving straight away to a method like WI/WO. Every LO is different. If you've been taking her downstairs before it's quite a change. i would say give her a few steps first - just my opinion.

Oh and p.s. have some water around just incase she's actually really thirsty.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2006, 21:35:51 pm by Samuel's mum »
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Offline momto2princes

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2006, 23:41:36 pm »
Sorry yes let me clarify by CIO I simply meant pick them up and console them until the crying subsides then lay them back down. This may be easier done by daddy so that they will not smell the milk and want to eat.

Jasmyne
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Offline Samuel's mum

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2006, 07:10:12 am »
Thanks :)
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Offline momof3girls

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2006, 15:15:00 pm »
Thanks ladies!

Emma, right now a normal night is bedtime around 8-8:30 with a bf beforehand, then up and bf around 1-2 and up again around 6am, where I usually nurse her and pray she'll go back to sleep for another hour or so, which doesn't always happen ::) (although it did today, which is why I'm on here now!)  She went through a phase not too long ago where she was waking around midnight and again around 3:00, so I would get her out of bed and go downstairs to the couch the first time, but not feed her, and then feed her at 3:00 when she woke again, but thankfully we got over that cycle with a combination of patience and w2s.  We were just on vacation, and she slept horribly, but we were in a hotel, so whenever she woke at night, I just picked her up and cuddled her until she fell asleep, then laid her back in the bed.  We're back to our normal sleeping patterns again, though, which is why I'm ready to conquer this last waking.

My thoughts right now, after hearing your advice, are that it will probably be best to continue to get her out of bed, but not feed her (unfortunately dh is no help here because he can't function without enough sleep and has to get up at 5am, so I'm on my own, but I'm used to it) and then gradually transition to other methods.  My other concern is that she shares a room with her two older sisters, and they're pretty deep sleepers, but I really don't want to end up with two or three kids awake in the middle of the night, so taking the crying downstairs is probably the best choice right now.

Thanks both of you for your input!  I'm going to start tonight, so I'll let you know how it goes.  I've been putting this off for ages because of teething, or visitors, or trips, but I've had enough.  Wish me luck!
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Allison


Offline Samuel's mum

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2006, 16:49:35 pm »
Quote (selected)
My other concern is that she shares a room with her two older sisters, and they're pretty deep sleepers, but I really don't want to end up with two or three kids awake in the middle of the night, so taking the crying downstairs is probably the best choice right now.
That obviously changes things a bit. Good Luck with the night weaning but I'm wondering whether you might need a bit of 'mommy' weaning after that! I'm not sure that any wi/wo could be used at any point without risking waking the others. I wonder whether anyone who has ever done sleep training with a shared bedroom can help you on the sleep boards?
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Offline momof3girls

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2006, 17:52:40 pm »
Quote from: Samuel's mum on November 29, 2006, 16:49:35 pm
I wonder whether anyone who has ever done sleep training with a shared bedroom can help you on the sleep boards?

That's a good idea.  I think I'll tackle the night weaning first and see if she quits waking up on her own once there's nothing to wake up for, and if not, then I'll check the sleep boards for help with that.  My older two dropped the night feed on their own and started sleeping through once they were weaned during the daytime, but they were both fully weaned to bottles by 10mos, and I didn't want to do that this time around.  So here we are :-\
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Offline Samuel's mum

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #8 on: November 29, 2006, 17:55:06 pm »
 
Quote (selected)
My older two dropped the night feed on their own and started sleeping through once they were weaned during the daytime, but they were both fully weaned to bottles by 10mos, and I didn't want to do that this time around.  So here we are


Don't regret your decision! You've done a great thing!
I'm sure this will work out.  :)
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Offline katriona

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2006, 21:25:50 pm »
thinking of you, allison! let us know how it works out  :-*
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Offline momof3girls

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #10 on: November 30, 2006, 21:21:01 pm »
You should all be proud of me - I stuck to my guns last night ;D  I think it would have been much easier if my 4yo hadn't woken up, too, but she was freezing and insisted that I had to be the one to cover her up.  Anyway, here's what happened: Ellie woke up just before 1am, and I went in, got her out of bed, and took her downstairs.  She, of course, expected to nurse right away, but I had a bottle of water ready.  She didn't want the bottle at first, and cried and squirmed around on my lap, but I made sure there was no easy access to boobs, so she calmed down pretty quickly and then she wanted the bottle.  She took just a few sips of water and went right back to sleep.  I took her upstairs and laid her back down (it had probably only been 5 minutes), and that's when Lexi woke up and started yelling, which of course woke Ellie back up.  We ended up on the couch for nearly two hours after that, but I'm hoping tonight will go better. 

Funny story, though.  She probably would have gone right back to sleep but I had the TV on really low and a show about dogs came on.  As soon as she saw that, she sat up and started shouting, "dogdogdogdogdog!" and "oof oof oof" ::)  I changed the channel, but then she was awake but tired, and wanted to nurse, and got really angry, so it was a long night after that.  I didn't give in, though, even though it was really tempting!

Wish me luck for tonight ;)
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Allison


Offline Samuel's mum

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Re: How do you drop a night feed?
« Reply #11 on: November 30, 2006, 21:43:02 pm »
Good for you
and LOL about the dogs!
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Offline momof3girls

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Re: How do you drop a night feed? (updated)
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2006, 17:30:30 pm »
Just wanted to let you know:

ELLIE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D

Two nights in a row now, and it only ( ::)) took a week and a half.
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Allison


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Re: How do you drop a night feed? (updated)
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2006, 18:26:21 pm »

 well done mum ;D your hard work paid off :-*
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Offline RachelC

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Re: How do you drop a night feed? (updated)
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2006, 18:32:19 pm »
;D  Let's see what tonight brings... 3rd time's a charm  ;)  :-*
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