17 months - breastfeeding 6-7 times a night and screams alot!

[sweetpea1602]

Hi, have a 17 month old boy who I recently managed to get to sleep for 11 hours without waking in his own cot, using sleeping bag and having cut out morning sleep but that lasted for 4 days (although he was sleeping for 4-8 hours straight on and off previously) when he awoke I would take him in to my bed for the rest of the night.  But recently he screams blue murder when I put him in his cot half a asleep and if I leave  him he continues to scream until I fetch him and take him into my bed where upon every time he stirs he immediately turns to me for a breast feed but this is happening 6-8 times a night and if I try to say no or turn my back on him he screams the place down and I am frightened he is going to wake my son and husband in another room that I have just given in and give him the breast. I hate cry it out and I have tried going in after say 5 minutes of crying when he is in his cot and it just seems to make him even more hysterical and I feel crap so take him in my bed!  Any thoughts could this be seperation anxiety, I am also sure there is probably some teething in the mix as well.  Please help me!  Sleep deprived Claudia

[aidenmc]

Hi Claudia,

I would suspect teething and maybe SA too. My DS was doing the same and I spent hours in the rocking chair feeding him. It was all he wanted to do. Things have improved greatly since we did some sleep training so that he is falling asleep in his crib (usually with dh - fights less with him  ). I usually can't get him to go in drowsy at the beginning of the night. I feed him after reading a book then bring him to his room and usually hand him off to Dh who puts him to bed. We are doing a gradual removal approach that started off with lots of patting and some music. We are backing off on the patting but use it when he wakes at night.

I also give Tylenol before bed as he is teething again. I would try that and give it again at his next wake-up after 4 hours, just to be sure. Those molars can be really hard on them. Also, when he wakes we try to get right in there and pat his bum. This usually gets him back to sleep. Again had to use DH for the first few wake-ups but it didn't take long. I know that the repeated feedings were just making amtters worse for DS as he is a gassy one and this would just perpetuate the problem. He is down to 0-1 feed per night.

I would suspect that you also have overtiredness on your hands at this point so you may want to try earlier bedtime. I am sure other people will chime in soon with ideas.

[Florencia]

Hi Claudia. You've already received GREAT advice from Becky who as you may see is an expert! i agree with everything she recommends, i just have to add some questions,

1. First, you mention you've recently sleep trained him. What technique did you use and how long did the sleep training lasted?

2. You also mention you cut off some day sleep. Is your ds still napping? Please post your daily schedule so we can rule out overtiredness or a need of tweaking the schedule.

3. I strongly suggest you to stop taking him to your bed. As you've been experiencing, as they grow older, the breast and mommy's cuddles tend to get old and no longer comfort them (or at least for a solid sleep period) and then you're left out with no more tricks in your hat. If you're concerned about your other ds's and dh's sleep, have them to sleep somewhere else for a week (grandma's house, a friends house) while you get the sleep training sorted out. Yes there will be tears, and hysterical ones but if you remain consistant there will be less and less of them until your ds's eventually sleeping through and you'll be so glad you persevered!

I'd suggest you to look at the faq section on this board under a thread called TEaching Independent Sleep so you can pick on amethod to deal with your ds's night waking without trying CIO (we don't support that approach on this site since it breaks the trust between mom and child and doesn't teach another lesson other than feeling left out). Pick a method based on your and ds's temper, one that you think you can follow through and start getting working on it. The worst we've seen around here is 2 hours of constant crying but then, every mom that has been consistant, has been successful and is now sleeping peacefully on a constant basis. It is totally worth to give it a try!!

HTH and keep us posted on doubts/comments/progress- Good luck!

[Samuel's mum]

It sounds like he's using the breast to transition between sleep cycles. I would have a read of this sticky too:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52857.0

scroll down for gentle removal plan

[Akua]

Hi.

My 15 month old did this until very recently. I got so exhausted by the fact that in over a year I hadn't had a night's sleep that I resorted to just getting him into bed with me and giving him the breast whenever he wanted it. It ended up with him getting in my bed from about midnight and feeding every hour or two. It was hell  .

The way I have dealt with it (touch wood) is by withdrawing each of the elements of the sleeping pattern one by one.

I first of all withdrew the breast at night, but still breastfed morning and evening (I gave him a bottle before his breastfeed at night so I wouldn't worry that he was hungry). So he would come in my bed at midnight-ish but would not get a feed until 7am. He was not at all happy with it and screaed in my face most of the night, but at least he got some comfort and familiarity. When it was time for morning feed at 7am I made sure the light and radio were on so he could not mistake it for a night feed.

Then after a few days of this (by which time he had stopped screaming the house down and got used to it) I started to put him in his cot awake so he would get himself off to sleep. Again this was not very popular, especially as he just refused to lie down and on occasion I have to admit I held him down with both hands until he fell asleep. I still got him into my bed when he woke up.

Then after a few of nights of that (when he learnt to lie down and get himself off with only a bit of patting) I stopped getting him out of the cot when he woke, and did lying down and patting in the cot until he got back off to sleep. He didn't mind this much by this time.

We've been on the last phase for about a week and now he is sleeping through until anytime between 4.30 and 6.30 and goes back to sleep in the cot within a few minutes with a bit of patting when he does wake up.

The only thing left now is for me to move him into his own room next door, which has been ready for months! I just feel I will miss him, but I guess all good things have to come to an end....

Good luck!