My baby won't lie down

[Akua]

My fifteen month old boy will not sleep through the night AT ALL! he wakes three or four times. I am currently trying to get him to go to sleep on his own in the cot (rather than in my bed) but he has to be practically fast asleep before I put him down or he just stands up and shouts until I take him out of the cot. This then goes on all night. The main problem is he is very determined and REALLY physically strong and I just can't get him to lie down. I don't want to leave him to cry, not least because I don't think he would ever actually give up and go to sleep. I really need to get him to learn how to get himself off to sleep or there will never be any end to it. I haven't moved him into his own room yet because I'm just too tired to keep getting up and down all night - I haven't had a night's sleep in fifteen months  and I'm at work full time  . Somebody please help!

[mari]

So sorry to hear that you are having little sleep, it's awful I know.  Could you post your routine and we can take a look and see if we can help.

[Akua]

Sure, here it is:

7ish: up, light and radio on - breastfeed
8.45ish: breakfast at nursery
11.30: lunch at nursery
12ish - 1.30ish: nap at nursery
2ish: snack at nursery
4: tea at nursery
5.30ish: home
6.30ish: dinner at home
7ish: bottle
7.15ish: bath (not every night)
7.30ish: breastfeed in my bed with music (same every night), singing "ten green bottles" until drowsy
8ish: into cot with toy cat

In fact things have moved on since my last post and he is now doing really well with lying down in the cot. He has also started sleeping until about 4.30am (hooray) and can get himself off to sleep at bedtime without any / much patting (although he has to be very drowsy to start with). Last night he woke at 4.30 and managed to get back off to sleep in the cot until 5.20, then he woke and I brought him into bed with me until 7.

I'm trying to move towards not having him the bed with me (he thinks my head is a teddy bear) and then getting him into his own room. We have done pretty well because until a month ago he was getting into my bed at around midnight and breastfeeding three or four times in the night. Now he doesn't get any breastmilk in the night at all. I just can't seem to get past the 4 - 5am waking, and the only way of getting him to sleep until 7 seems to be having him in my bed.

Any suggestions welcome!

[imsmum]

That early morning wakeup is a tough one--my older dd would do that too.  It's actually harder as they get older because they can come in on their own--my dd would crawl up the middle of the bed between dh and I and we wouldn't know that she had come in until we woke in the morning.  The early morning wakeup up is when they transition from light sleep in to a deeper one right before dawn.  If they need a prop and you take it away it becomes REALLY hard to get them back off to sleep because they have had nearly a full night so I would definitely work on all the other aspects to teach independent sleep before approaching that one.  It sounds like he's almost there on getting off to sleep independently and that gradual withdrawal of the patting and you might work well.  Congratulations on the improvements!