He won't sleep on his own

[mhunter]

Hey everyone I'm new here and I need a little bit of help...Damien is 2 1/2 months old and since the day he was born I haven't been able to get him to sleep on his own...it's getting a little better and I can get an hour in his crib but when he wakes up he realizes he's on his own and starts to cry and will not fall into a deep sleep again until long after I'm asleep...He sleeps on my chest but I'm afraid with him moving around more that he'll fall off and hurt himself so I don't get solid sleep...I have been able to get him to sleep between daddy and me but I'm so afraid of one of us rolling over on him...more so daddy than me...I've watched the show "The Baby Whisperer" and really loved the pick up put down method but when I try to do it I get so tired, and I'll admit a little cranky, that I give up and he's back on me for the night and I'm afraid doing it right now will make him feel less secure with me...It could be a little silly but I don't want to be neglectful like my mother was so I think I overcompensate...can anyone help me or give me some ideas as to how to get him to sleep on his own???...Daddy and I don't get much time for ourselves because of it and my house looks be on repair

Please Help!!!! 

[andibig]

HI
welcome to the boards!!!you sound like a very loving mum .
ok so am i right that you don't want to continue co-sleeping or happy for him to share your bed but just not on you!

Pick up/Put down (PU/PD) is not recommended for babies  4 months as its too stimulating for them.however you can try a technique called Pat/shh.
it takes a while to teach our LOs to sleep independently (and there may be crying) but the BW techniques are all about ensuring our LOs feel secure and loved yet teaching them to sleep.
i'm just going to find a link for you.

[andibig]

Found it!!! it will link you to another board.you are looking for the section called "Pat/Shussh for babies under 3 months"
HTH


https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=84.0

[mhunter]

Thank you very much...That is very good to know...now I'm glad that I didn't continue with the pu/pd method...I'm terrified of him sleeping in our bed now as well as on me...he squirms to much and ends up hurting me as well  ...I would love for him to continue to sleep with me but it scares me to much and I don't get 5 minutes of alone time with daddy...I'll try that for sure 

[mhunter]

The link won't work for me

it says "The topic or board you are looking for appears to be either missing or off limits to you."

[andibig]

  Pat/shush for babies under 3 months old
don't know why the link didn't work but i've copied it for you honey!!!

This is how you do it.....

We don't pickup/putdown with babies under 3 months old because it's too overstimulating. Instead we completely calm the baby with pat/shush.

Swaddle the baby snugly and make sure the room is as dark as you can get it. Lay the baby on his side so you have access to the back. You can use a wedge or a rolled up towel to prop him up.

Patting and shushing is done with a firm pat in the center of the back (like a tick-tock rhythm) and a long, repeated shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh past (not into) the ear. Loudly, like a faucet. Not fast.

Generally you do the patting/shushing in the crib. Though if he cries, you can pick him up, patting and shushing him over your shoulder, until he's completely calm. Then lay him down and keep patting and shushing. (Put a hand on his chest, or if the room isn't very dark, shield his eyes from visual stimulation.) Try it in the crib but if he wont settle you can pick him up. Keep patting and shushing in the crib for 7 - 10 minutes after he's completely settled and zoning out. Eventually stop shushing. If he cries, shush again while patting and pick up if necessary. Eventually you will get to the point where you are patting and shushing, and he's zoning out and settled in the crib. Then you slow down the patting and shushing, then stop shushing, and keep patting until baby goes to sleep. Stay with him until he's in stage three - deeper into sleep, totally let go, no eye movements. Past the "jolt." You may or may not need to be patting still at this point. Some babies will need the patting, some will need the hand on the chest or just your presence. This is the age where they still need you to guide them into sleep, and this is how you do it without accidental parenting.

The key is not to stop just because baby has calmed down, keep it up. And stay with him, don't leave, until he's melted into the crib! icon_smile.gif

And if 40 - 45 minutes have passed without sleep, feed him and try again. He'll be hungry by then

[mhunter]

Thank you very much!!!...I'm trying it tonight