Accidental Parenting by sitting too long?

[mamaB]

I have a 6 mo. old who has been on the E.A.S.Y for seven days and I have also been implementing the PU/PD. She will not take naps longer than 45 minutes. I leave her in the crib the full two hours but she won't go down. When I sit with her she quiets, but what I am afraid of is accidental parenting. Am I giving her a prop by sitting with her for too long? She is just happy if I am there, I don't even need to pick her up.  She is usually happy when I give her the pacifier and hold her hand.  The second problem is at night, she usually wakes sometime between 2-5 (not consistant, not a feeding problem) and usually is wake between 2-3 hours.  While awake she figits so I gently hold her arms down at her side to help calm her, but sometime it takes a while. Is this another form of the same accidental parenting?  Help!

[*Mona*]

hi and welcome

first- if you say you're there with her holding her hand, what does she do then? fall asleep or just stay quiet and happy with you there?

second- 45 minute naps are usually a sign of too short activity time

third- are you sure it's not hunger after all if she stays up for so long? how long has this been going on?

fourth and final for now - can you post your current routine now? it would help us understand her 'problems'.

Monika

[mamaB]

First- If I hold her hand when she wakes up from a nap she will often go back to sleep but sometimes she will just be happy I am there so I try to walk away so she will self sooth and then she will cry so I come back. At night when I do this she will often be awake for hours because she will settle and I go back to bed and then she will cry and I sit with her until she falls back to sleep.  It seems as though she enjoys cuddling with my hand.  She has actually taken to the crib much better than I thought.

Second- I have my schedule posted below, I followed the sample one in the book. She sticks to it pretty well during the day, other than short naps. I think activity time is as recommended.

Third-I have only been doing the E.A.S.Y for one week. Prior to that we were out of town for six weeks and co-sleeping.  The first two days were observation, at that point she nursed 2-3 times per night. I have been adding 1 oz. of milk to every feeding, though she rarely wants to finish it. And I have been tanking up in the early eve, last night at 9:30 and 11:30 she had dream feeds; but she still woke up around 3:30 for two hours.  I didn't nurse her until 7AM but at that point she wasn't even interested, she wanted to play. I tried a bottle with breast milk to get her to eat more, she took a little more, about 1/2 oz. So it didn't seem like she was hungry.  She is teething but taking homeopathic teething tablets and hasn't been fussy about it.  The thing is, she really hasn't cried that much at all, I have only had to do PU/PD a few times, she's just awake and wants me there.  Yikes!

Fourth: My schedule:

7AM Wake and Breast Feed
7:15-8:30 Activity
8:30 Solid Food
9:00-11:00 Nap  (she usually only sleeps 45 min. and stays in the bed the rest of the time awake)
11:00 Breast Feed
11-12:30 Activity
12:30 Solid Food
1:00-3:00 Nap (she has slept the entire time but usually wakes in the middle and settles)
3:00 Breast Feed
5:00-5:30 Cat Nap
5:45 Solid Food
6-7 Activity
7:00 Breast Feed
7:15 Bath and Wind down
7:30 Bed, usually asleep by 8  (she usually wakes within one hour and then settles back for two hours then wakes between 2-5 for a few hours).    

[*Mona*]

ok, so first of all I think you are doing really good. EASY usuall doesn't start working straight away, babies need some time to get used to it.
your routine looks good apart from her first activity/nap- with only 2 hrs of activity I think she's not tired enough to nap longer than 45 minutes. her second A time is 3 hours or so and she's giving you a much longer nap, isn't she? so, I would keep her up at least 20-30 minutes longer in the morning to ensure longer morning nap.
and as of you holding her hand- well, I think it has become a prop for her now so you have to decide on stopping it and trying PU/PD maybe instead. have you ever tried dream feed? can't she be hungry when she wakes at night? maybe you could change the order in the evening and do bath-BF-bed instead? I'm not saying you should feed her to sleep, but sometimes even 30 minutes can make a difference.
what do you say?

Monika

[mamaB]

Monika- Thanks for all the good advice. It all makes a lot of sense and I will try to implement it. I think you are right with both things.  I have done dream feeds but I thought I had to do them before 11pm, so I was doing a 9 and an 11.  Last night I did feed her in the night because she kept waking up every hour on the hour and I thought you must be right and she did seem hungry.  However, when I try to add an oz. of liquid to each feed during the day to make up for the loss at night she really doesn't want it (I tried just by extra breast feeding and also by putting it in a bottle.)  But she is making small improvements little by little to I will just keep at it.  Thanks again.