poor eating - sudden change

[Oggy]

My dd is 18mths and suddenly doesn't want to eat all her favourite foods.  She normally loves pasta, fish pie, spag bol, omelets, roast dinners but now doesn't want anything.

Whenever I put the plate of food in front of her she plays with it for a while then hands it back to me saying "no".  I'm tempted to offer an alternative but no she'll keep holding out for something better so I explain that this is her dinner and if she doesn't want it it's going in the bin!  When I do this and tell her she can now get down and play she screams as if she's actually hungry.  She's not teething or ill I expect she's just exerting her independence but it's very frustrating and I'm worried she not eating enough.  She'll eat plenty of fruit but I'm worried she's developing a sweet tooth.

at the moment her meals are:

6oz milk
half a wheatabix / other cereal / toast
a few mouth fulls of past, sausage &beans etc (it really is 2/3 mouthfulls) & sml yogurt
half a slice of cheese on toast / sandwich & fruit
normally 6oz milk although she is refusing this at the moment.

any help or advice would be welcome

thanks

[taygensmom]

Sounds like you are doing the right things. Just keep offering her whatever you guys are eating, and don't make feeding a power struggle. Just keep responding to her refusal with "Oh, you're not ready to eat right now? OK." By doing this you are empowering her to make the choice of whether to eat or not (which is really her choice anyways despite how much it frustrates us as mommies) and giving her a level of control. But you are still deciding some things to, such as when we eat and what the food choices are. This is a healthy balance and if you keep this casual attitude she will likely be eating great in no time!!!

[Oggy]

ok so this has been a month now of poor eating.  Today I offered her fish pie which she would normally eat but after one mouthful she said no and passed it back to me.  Yesterday I made meatballs in tomato sauce and some rice, again the same thing.  I'm getting really frustrated and although i don't offer her anything else she does seem upset when i explain that there's no more dinner other than what is being offered? 

She's still drinking and eating breakfast and if offered anything sweet e.g. fruit or yogurts she's happily accept those so I know she's not in pain or has tummy ache.

how long can she last by just eating a couple of spoonfulls of food a day?

any ideas ladies??

[lilmonkey]

Mine is a little older than yours but we are going through the same thing here as well.  DD used to let me feed the rest of her meal to her but lately she just stared me down and says no.  A friend suggested that I cut back on her snack portions (ie, a 1/4 slice of apple or 2 wheat crackers with water, etc) and let dd be more hungry for mealtimes.  I think that it might work as yesterday, after her pm nap (3:30 pm) I just offered her a couple of frozen strawberries (4 pm) and her dinner was quite big (6:30 pm).  Also I remembered that dd's appetite also dropped at around that time.  She is a small eater so I tend to portion her meals according to the size of her fist.  Two fist size is usually very good.  HTH

[taygensmom]

Is your LO underweight? If he is not then I would not stress too much if he is not eating as much for a while. Kids do go through phases where they eat very little, just as they go though phases where they eat alot. As long as he keeps growing he should be fine!

The idea to make snacks a little smaller is a good one. I think sometimes we don't realize how much a full serving is for a little one. It really isn't that much, but even our snacks tend to be super sized!!!

[Oggy]

Hi, thanks for the replies.  DD is not underweight.  Her portion sizes are very small (i read this in another thread and always but a limited amount on her plate but makes no difference).

today I offered her cottage pie (mince with peas and carrotts topped with potato and cheese) it was a barely 2 table spoons but she refuses to try it - she picked a little of the cheese (which she loves) but wouldn't even attempt to try anything else.  I explained that this was her lunch and if it went in the bin there was no more.  She agreed and when I threw it away she cried "more".  I got her out of the high chair and she threw a strop.  I explained the lunch was in the bin and there was no more.

I feel awful as she's now hungry and although I'll make dinner time earlier I'm left with a grumpy daughter.

she doesn't snack very much either.  Between her breakfast at 8 and lunch at 11.30 / 12 she has a small packet of rasins and between her lunch and dinner at 4.30 / 5pm she would have a small biscuit or piece of fruit.  She's never had a big appetite its just got smaller!

She happily eats finger food but as soon as I put a proper meal infront of her she will not eat.  I've also tried cutting the food up so she can see what she's eating e.g a roast meal but she refuses!

[taygensmom]

Here is something that you can try:
If my LO is not interested or playing with/throwing his food off the high chair I will immediately take his food tray away and respond ("oh, it looks like you need a break/aren't ready to eat"). I don't comment on the refusals or playing with food, so that this behavior doesn't escalate. Then I leave the tray off for a few minutes, even if he is whining for it back or I know he is still hungry. After a few minutes I put the tray back and say "It's time to eat". If he refuses/starts playing with his food again I take the tray away againf or a few minutes and then repeat the above process. I will give him 3 or 4 chances. If he continues to refuse then the meal is over.

Also, you could try giving her 2 choices of what to eat (make them 2 things that you are already serving/preparing for the family) and see if empowering her to make a choice of what food she wants makes a difference.

[lilmonkey]

Here's a thought.  Is your lo eager to sit in the high chair?  What I mean is when it is meal time, does she let you place her in it and willing to sit for at least 10 min?  I remembered having trouble with placing dd in the high chair at around that age.  What I did was place her in a booster seat and placed her food on regular plates & bowls and dd was much happier.  Her appetite didn't increased by much at at least she was willing to sit try a few bites.  I even let her take food from my plate.  It could be an independence thing where they want to be like mommy and daddy.  I don't know but it is worth a try.  I wasn't too rigid about her table manners as long as she tries something.  We sometimes make a game out of eating.  Like give a toast before every bite or see who can chew the fastest.  We would throw our hands up in the air and say "I win" or give high fives.    HTH

[Oggy]

HI,

DD is happy to sit in the high chair in fact when I say "would you like some lunch / dinner" she runs and stands next to it!  She has tried a few times recently to stand in the chair when she's nearly finished but other than that she's more than happy.  I give her books to read whilst I'm preparing the end of her meal and she sits patiently.

I will definitely try the method of taking the food away for a minute and trying again to see if that works.

she did eat reasonably well this evening and I'm sure in a months time I'll be dealing with a totally new "phase" but I'm one of those new mums that need to know the answer and forget to enjoy these little challenges .......... at least I'll know what to do next time round!  x

[lilmonkey]

Yes, they change all the time.  Once you have figured out how to deal with the current problem, they go and change the rules! 

one of those new mums that need to know the answer and forget to enjoy these little challenges .......... at least I'll know what to do next time round!  x

I used to be one of those moms too, I'm a control freak.  Gave me soo much stress and grey hair.  I finally listened to dh & my mom and the other BW moms and just go with the flow.