how important are even-amount feedings?

[MamaBearGrr]

Hello all you lovely moms!

I have a 10-week-old daughter who breastfeeds every 2 hours during the day and typically only takes catnaps.  She does sleep most of the night, which is due to my dh, who decided early on that I needed more sleep, so he feeds her a HUGE amount around midnight and then she sleeps in her crib until 5:30AM, wakes and feeds a little, then sleeps (with me in bed) another 2 hours.  (And sometimes even another 2 hours after the 7:30AM feed.) 

The big bottle feed at midnight is up to about 4 oz of breastmilk + 3 oz formula right now.  I'm positive she's not getting 7 oz. at any other feeding.  Typically I can only pump about 2 oz. even if she hasn't fed recently.  (The 4 oz she drinks at night are from 3 pumping sessions.)  I think she's pulling out more like 3-4 oz when she works at breastfeeding for 40 minutes, but still it's not 7 oz. 

So now I'm trying to lengthen the time between feedings (to 2.5 hours initially), keep her from taking catnaps on the breast, and getting her to go down for naps with shhh-patting.  The shh-patting has worked once or twice, and the other times she gets close to sleeping and I get really tired. 

My question is, how much is that big midnight feed going to keep her from establishing a good schedule the rest of the day?  Do I need to try to reduce the size of that feed while working on these other changes, or can I wait and address that a little later?  I'd prefer to wait until later since my dh has a nice routine working for him and that little bit of sleep keeps me sane, I think. 

Thanks,  -Mama Berger

[RachelC]

Hi and welcome to the site!  You have a lot going on!

Please keep in mind that your dd is way more efficient than your pump, so she is getting more than your pump is getting.  Also, babies will take more from a bottle than they will from the breast because it is there and it is easy to take (she doesn't have to work for it and will keep drinking even if she's no longer hungry)  You could even try reducing that night feed to just the breastmilk and see what happens.  And yes, the amount she takes over night will affect what she takes during the day.

Are you following EASY?  Could you post your general daily routine, for example

5:30 bf and back to sleep
7:30 bf
8:30 nap
9:30 bf......

[MamaBearGrr]

Well, I've been trying to transition from what was more of an on-demand "schedule" that I had been afraid to move away from because dd doesn't gain weight very fast.  (She was born 7lbs 1oz and is probably only 9lbs now at 10 weeks.)  Doctor says her weight gain is on a normal curve, just on the low end of the distribution.  Lately I've been wondering if better sleep would help her weight more than trying to feed all the time, so here I am. 

I have been tracking what we've been doing for the last few days.  It's kind of all over the map through the middle of the day, but here's yesterday, to show where I am now.

E 5:30AM  1st feeding (I do a diaper change to keep her awake.)
A 6:20AM  final burping
S 6:25AM  back in bed.  She will fall asleep next to me at this point with no fuss.
E 7:30AM  2nd feeding
A 8:10AM  final burping
S 8:15AM  back in bed for both of us
E 10:00AM 3rd feeding
A 10:40AM Burping.  Some play but baby looks sleepy. 
S 11:00AM Attempt to shh-pat baby to sleep.
(Half an hour into this the phone rings with someone I need to talk to.  Baby is crying and rooting, so...)
E 11:30AM 4th feeding
A 12:00PM Playing with baby, who appears alert and excited
S  1:00PM  shh-pat baby for 45 minutes.  Not able to get her into a stable sleep.
E 1:45PM

[MamaBearGrr]

Oops, somehow I sent the post before I meant to.

E  1:45PM 5th feeding
A  2:15PM Drive out to run errands.  Baby is in car carrier / stroller.
S  4:15PM baby falls asleep in carrier
E  5:00PM 6th feeding
A  6:00PM Play.  During play baby gets upset and comfort nurses for short time.
S  6:45PM pat-shh,  baby does stay asleep on her own for about 20 minutes.  At another point, however, baby screams and roots until I allow her a snack.
E  8:15PM 7th feeding.  Lazy mom probably allowed some napping at the breast here while enjoying some time with dh. 
A  9:00PM  bath
E  9:15PM  8th feeding (cluster feeding)
A  9:45PM  short play-time & wind-down
S  10:00PM  pat-shh, results in about 10-minute nap at the end. 
E  11:30PM  bottle feed  (This takes awhile with 7 oz of liquid, and is kind of like a cluster feed.)
A  1:00AM   baby has conversations with dh, diaper change / burping
S  1:30AM   bedtime

[RachelC]

The first thing that jumps out at me is the late bedtime.  You want to aim for a 12 hour day and night.  So, if she is waking at 5:30 for a feed, I would get her right back to sleep, then when she wakes at 7:30, I would get her up for the day, meaning after this feed, get her up, dress her, walk around the house a bit, and then get her down for a nap.

So, if she's waking at 7:30am for the day, I would aim for getting her down for bed at 7:30pm, so anytime she wakes between 7:30pm-7:30am should be a feed and back to bed immediately (there is no A time at night, just during the day).

I have a feeling your little one is very overtired, which doesn't help the sleep situation.

Have you peeked at any of the sample routines for her age? https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10384.0

9 feeds does seem like quite a lot for her age.  I think if she could get some more solid sleep at night, it would help across the board.

2 hours between feeds is not uncommon, but you may want to think about slowly extending the time between feeds, maybe by 5 minutes longer for a couple days.

I have asked some others to pop in to offer some advice as well.   

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Rachel's right - being overtired could be part of it. I'd aim for full feeds when she does eat - no falling asleep at the breast! Try to extend naps, aim for an earlier bedtime and regular awake time.  Babies crave routine, remember!