DS Using Me?

[M and N's Mom]

My 13 mo DS has been independently sleeping for months.  Lately, he gives me a REALLY hard time at bedtime.  He screams and I end up doing wi/wo.  If I stay in the room for a minute (standing by the door, not looking at him or interacting at all) he plays fine in his crib.  When I leave he stands up and screams. 

The thing is, if DH puts him down, he just leaves (what we have been doing for a long time) and DS mantra cries for a while and goes to sleep on his own.

He is a "Mommy-suck" but what do I do about bedtime?  I don't want to become a prop by staying in his room when we haven't had to in the past.  My DH wants to let him cio (I don't) since we know he knows how to go to bed on his own.

SA for just one parent?

[Layla]

I know you are worried about becoming a prop but 13months is a big time for SA so I wouldn't think he is using you. I would do GW for now. Stay with him in the room if thats what he is comfortable with and move closer and closer to the door with every day.

SA for just one parent?

Definitely!!! Jasmine is going through SA at the moment (has been for the last 2-3 months) and she will cling to my feet and cry and cry and cry if I don't pick her up. Its really hard and she's also teething at the moment so I'm finding it really challenging with sleep, etc... She will not do this with dh. She's totally ok with him but if she sees me or hears my voice, she will wriggle her way out of his arms until I pick her up.

Can dh help you out and do bedtime to make it easier on you?

[M and N's Mom]

DH does do as many bedtimes as he is home for, but it is not always possible with his work schedule.  It is just frustrating when he can do it in 10 mins and it takes me 45 

[Layla]

I know... it must be really frustrating  . Maybe try a longer bedtime routine when you are just with him... it might make him feel more secure during this time. He must be wanting more mummy time if he is taking longer for you. This will pass.

Try not to revert to AP and it will be easier for him to get back on track once this phase is over.

[M and N's Mom]

With the GW, I can stand right by the door and he is fine, just plays in his crib, it is when I leave that he freaks.  If I do that more (instead of wi/wo) at what point do I leave?  Do I have to wait until he is asleep because I don't want him to rely on me being in the room?

[M and N's Mom]

I did a longer wind-down with DS tonight.  I almost had to force him to sit in the chair with me.  Eventually he calmed down and cuddled.  I usually sit with him for a few minutes, but I sang to him for quite a bit longer and he went to bed well, with only his usual mantra cries.  Hopefully that is the key!

Thanks Layla.

[Layla]

That's great news  !!!

Sorry about yesterday... I was in the middle of posting back but then the baby woke up and we all had to get out of the house (this is the only thing that will stop her from being cranky - she's teething badly at the moment and has full blown SA). I left the comp on and was in this thread for hours  .

With GW - I always thought you had to stay with them until they fell asleep but if the longer wind down is working well stick to that.

Keep me posted
Layla