need some suggestions please

[meltown]

We have worked to get naps longer then 45 min for months but in the process made a habit of my DS falling asleep on our shoulder then we moved him to his crib and he would sleep about 1.5 hours each nap.  so then we decided since that was under control we needed to get him napping independently.  well, we started doing pu/pd on wednesday.  this morning he went to sleep by himself it only taking 30 min of him talking to himslef and playing quietly in his crib.  then he slept 30 min and then complained and whined ( not cried) for 30 min until I finally went in and got him because it was time to feed him.  this afternoon I oput him down and he went straight to sleep. then he slept 45 min and woke crying I went in and tried to get him back to sleep and he fell asleep oin my shoulder I put him in his crib and he slept for 15 more min. and woke crying again.  it was almost time to feed again and I didn't feel like battling with him for 15-20 min only to bring him out and feed him.  he has been doing 30-45 min naps yesterday and today.  I am not wanting to go through all this again as we recently got him past the cycle.  I am wondering what everyone thinks.  It doesn't really bother me now to hold him to sleep as he goes to sleep quickly and sleeps well.  my main concern is in the next few months when he gets heavier and also when we have another LO I'm not going to want to hold him to sleep.  so I wnted to get rid of that now.  but if the cycle is going to start again and he is not goign to get good sleep, I'm not sure it is worth the independent sleep.  KWIM??  anyone's suggestions or opinions or personal experiences would be great.  this morning is what he woudl do if he was in his car seat.  wait until he is exausted and sleep for 30 min then wake ready for the advenure to continue.

[meltown]

now he is in his crib playing and has been there for 20 min.  in 30 min he has to take a bath and get ready for bed.  if he doesn't fall asleep, which he has done before, he will have had 1.25 hours of nap today.  I really am thinking that this independent thing just wont work for him.

[Little Lamb]

Hi Melissa!

This could be a bit of a backwards step but you could try reducing the time that you hold him on your shoulder by a few minutes a day until he is more used to going in his crib sleepy but not asleep.   

I'm in the same boat, battling with 30 or 45 min. naps without much working successfully.  I'm hoping it's teething, but am playing with my lo's A time to see what will happen.  I know exactly what you mean about balancing a good sleep with learning independent sleep habits.  I'll be interested to see what other's have to say, maybe someone out there has the magic answer.

Best of luck!

[Layla]

Sorry Melissa - no magical answer  .  I do have to say thou no matter when you chose to teach your lo indep sleep, there will always be a consequence (being loss of sleep and possibly overtired state).

If you want to get rid of this now - you will really have to be consistent and stop allowing him to fall asleep on you. I had the same issue with #2. She was a little younger though (4 months) but for the 1st 4 months I carried her around in the Babybjorn, rocked and BF her to sleep (as well as using the dummy excessively). Then finally I realised enough was enough and she needed to learn so I dedicated 2 weeks to her sleep and voila... things definitely improved.

His routine at 6 months should be more or less... 3 naps (2.5hrs max A time) so your day should look something like this:

7am - wake for the day
9am - nap 1 (1+hrs)
12.30ish - nap2 (1.5-2hrs)
4.30-5pm - catnap (45mins)
7ish - bedtime

If he is up from the nap earlier (like at 45mins) & you cannot extend the nap with pu/pd or soothing in the cot, then forget the nap, pick him up and wait till the next nap time but bring it forward. So instead of 12.30ish, have him napping around 12pm. Same for the catnap. I would suggest an earlier bedtime as well which will hopefully allow him to catch up on sleep in the meantime.

I think the suggestion from Little Lamb is a great one - maybe make a gradula wothdrawal... hold him less everyday until he is used to soothing himself to sleep.

hth
Layla

[meltown]

today was a bit better.  he is only doing 2 naps too.  he is doing 3 hours of awake time.  he extended this and dropped the cat nop all on his own before I decided to do the independent sleep thing.  and he is still sleeping great at night.  but this morning he went down on his own in a fairly quick time and slept 45 min then I went in picked him up and held and rocked him back to slepe and he slept for 1 hour more.  Then this afternoon he slept for 1 hour 15 min.-1.5 hours.  I am not sure when he went to sleep.  but it was SO much better from the past few days.  I hope tomarrow will be the same but I will have to wait and see.  thanks for the response.  I understand what you mean about the period with overtiredness and such.  I didn't really think about that.

[Layla]

I hope tomorrow will be good for you as well. Keep us posted. You will get there!!!

Layla