25 month old nap and bedtime troubles

[jennc123]

My 25 month old is now refusing to nap whatsoever...its been going on about 2 weeks, she will go into hysterics when its naptime, and now she is saying she has to potty just to get out of her room....and then dosen't potty???..she is not yet potty trained, I have been taking a break from it because she seems to be going thorugh somethng else with teh screaming and constant fear of not being with me:(......the thing is she is completely exhausted!!!!! and refuses to sleep, I am so afraid she is going to get sick:(.....and nighttime is the same....and to add to it once she does fall asleep she is up at 6am screaming for me again.....this is constant....I have no idea if I am dealing with molars, separation anxiety, some sort of fear......its starting to affect my marriage and its out of control......I need some advice, I am really not sure what to do.......she has always been a really great napper and now this!...its just all compounding each other.....and she is completely overtired, I telll her she dosen't ahve to nap she can play in her bed crib, I keep the crib rail down.....so she isn't even getting quiet time......BUT if I take her into my bed she falls asleep instantly.....any ideas what I can do, I feel I have tried everything!:(

[mari]

Could you post her routine.  Wake up, nap time and length, bedtime.

[jennc123]

well this what it used to be as of 2 weeks ago:

8am wake and breakfast
1-1:30- go down for nap, up at about 3-3:30
playtime and snack
5:30-6pm dinner
7ish-bathtime with daddy
7:30- 30 minute video and bedtime snack
8-8:30-books and bedtime

she used to just play for a few minutes or so in her crib with her dolls and fall asleep........

Now this is what is happening:

up between 5-6am crying
same as above
no naps!...unless i nap with her which I have been doing since I am pregnant.
bedtime now between 7-8pm and there is always a fight....lots of crying a screaming and crying for mommy:(.......I let her cio and she gets back into her bed and then silence, this can go anywhere between 20 minutes to 2 hours....wakes up periodically through teh night, sometimes.....i listen and let her put herself back to sleep..........then all **** breaks loose at 5am or 6.......

[Layla]

Sorry to hear you are having problems at the moment. She definitely sounds overtired to me. If she's waking up between 5-6am & crying, fighting naps, etc... thats a sign of ot. I would bring the nap forward to 12pm (the latest). So have an early lunch and in bed by 11.30am to aim for her to fall asleep between 11.30-12pm. Also bring the bedtime forward to 6.30pm for a few nights. So aim for her to be asleep between 6.30-7pm.

Try a longer wind down at nap and bedtimes. Lots of stimulation in the morning and then as you get closer to nap and bedtime, try more stories, cuddles etc to get her nice and sleepy. How long have you been napping with her? Could it be that she has become dependent on you to sleep with and wants the same at night time???

You also mentioned that you let her cio. This is a HUGE trust issue and her crying and fighting nap and bedtimes would be enhanced by the fact that she is sometimes left to deal with it on her own. I understand that you are pregnant and this must be an EXTREMELY difficult time for you but please chose a sleep training method, stick it out for a few weeks and try to get her back on track. Here's a link to sleep training methods for toddlers:
 
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

Can you think of anything that could have thrown her off schedule? Illness, could she be teething???

Layla

[jennc123]

well understand the cio is the last resort, and she is 2.....I can tell she is completely overtired, she just won't give in.....and she is not herself, I do feel maybe her molars are trying to come through, she is eating horribly and just plain grouchy....she has only napped with me 3 times and dosen't come into our bed at night  at all.....occasionally I have brought her in to our bed at 5 am because we can't handle the screaming......there seems to be a bit of separation anxiety as well......it comes and goes.....I really don't know why we have had such a drastic change and i di try today to move her nap, so I started at 12:15 or so I think......screaming again.......and again...we are talking blood curdling screaming....she also seems afraid of everything, teh vaccuum, lawn mower, things she never was afraid of.......thanks for your advice....I just keep trying every day...its just so unlike her normal behavior.

[Layla]

Yes, i understand she is 2 but its not a matter of her "giving in" or having control over you, etc... She cannot fall asleep and screams bloody murder because she is extremely overtired and she cannot relax enough to fall asleep. You need to help her out and this is where the longer wind down helps (well it helps me/us). Start nap routine at 11am so that she is in bed by 11.30 and if she is fighting you, at least you have some time before she is exhausted and cannot fall asleep at all.Honestly, the only way to get rid of overtiredness is an early bedtime. The more sleep she gets at the front end of the night (which consists of more deep sleep - restorative sleep), the better rested she will be in the morning. She might even sleep in past 5am. It will take a few days to catch up but its always worked for us.

If you feel that she is teething, then try giving her some pain relief.

Again, I know this is really hard. I was 9 months pregnant and about to pop J out when Isabella started giving me h*ll at nap and bedtimes. She was going through the 2-1 transition and I didn't know how to handle it. Then when J & I came back from the hospital, she refused napping alltogether and she was only 13.5months. Extremely overtired, cranky, clingy all day long and we had horribel NW and 5am starts. Take it one step at a time. If you have to, put a matress in her room on the floor just until she is sleeping better and then start sleep training so that she can sleep without you in the room....

Being scared of the vacuum cleaner, lawn mower, etc... is normal. Isabella went through a phase of being scared of everything that makes noises and its not until I started making up stories that she settled down. She even went through a phase of being scared of the oven and that thing hardly makes a noise and is out of her reach to touch....

Let me know how it goes
Layla

[jennc123]

well last night went a ton better.....she went down at about 8pm with no fight and slept till almost 7am this morning!!!!!.......I agree and know she is completely overtired but she is also extremely stron gwilled and dosen't give in very easily........plus she has now a head cold and i think she is teething.....I figure soon enough she will realize how tired she really is....she gets plenty of fresh air and playtime, outside most of the day on nice days.....we do what we can to wear her out constantly....she is also not eating very much right now so she may be hungry but I can't force her to eat, I try to make smoothies for her to get something in her....and I also give her motrin when her mouth really seems to hurt her.  I know I am doing alot of things right but i am having a very tiring pregnancy and her not sleeping is making everything worse.  I am trying to move everything back and will see how that goes, thanks for your help.

[Layla]

Well with food - toddlers seem to go through funny stages and I try not to let it worry me too much. Isabella will eat porridge, toast, fruit and milk for breakfast at 6.30-7am then have a snack at 11ish and nothing else until she wakes up from nap, which is around 2.30pm and will snack on something small at dinner time. Its so unpredictable when/if she will eat and its worse when she is teething as well.... she'll get her appetite back....

Good luck & I hope she gives you a much needed rest
Keep posting  .