How can I help her sleep, sleep, sleep??

[stephinct]

Hello,
First, it seems as though so many people have it tougher than we do - I almost feel silly posting.  Mary is 4 and a half months old.  I am trying to get her onto a 4 hr easy routine with more success early in the day than later.  She is typically a terrible napper.. 45 minutes or so, often 4 times a day - although today she suddenly took a 2 hr nap n the morning the 15 minutes in the car this afternoon and then another 45 minutes late afternoon.  Bedtime routine.. we are not as consistent as we'd liker and have dedicated this week to getting very consistent,, but usually she goes to bed at 8pm with a change into jammies and a good 5 minute or snuggle before bed.  (Decided to amend that to 7:15pm bath, jammies, nurse, bed by 8pm).  /We always play a CD of lullabies for her to go to sleep.  She is breastfed, both sides each time, 10 minutes per side typically. She always (except on a couple of rare sleeps though the night)wakes up at least once.  After her last growth spurt (about 3 weeks ago) she started getting up twice.  She doesn't really cry when she wakes up, but kind of grunts and groans which leads to crying if we don't go in.  i have tried giving her the paci again (which sheuses to go to sleep), but if she's been asleep for more than 3 hours she won't take it. I pick her up and feed her.. it's always a full feed, and she then goes right back down.  Tough to complain about that, but it's been months since we've slept a full night & we're tired!  We recently introduced cereal.. thought 4 months was the time, Dr ok'd it, but some folks here have told me it may be best to wait 'til 6 months.  She's only had a very little (tablespoon or so) very watered down with breastmilk, once a day in the evenings. I think that covers all of the requested questions. I;d love some help devising a plan to help this muchkin sleep! 
Thanks so much.
~Steph

[M and N's Mom]

Hi!  I was just wondering if the timing of waking 2 times a night goes with when you introduced cereal?  Cereal before 6 months can be very hard to digest, and actually provide little in the way of nutrition.  If you really want to be giving it, I'd recommend giving it in the morning.  If you give it in the evening it may be interfering with the amount of breastmilk she is taking in the evening and BM is far more sustaining than cereal (contrary to older thoughts).  Also, if she is having trouble digesting it, it could be causing gas in the evenings which could be waking her.

I remember how tiring I felt at that age, but it is normal for a baby to need 1 feed through the night still.  Although some babies can sleep through (my DD did) at a very young age, many can't (my DS was 6.5 months before he stopped needing a night feed).  Good luck!

[stephinct]

Hello again,
No, the two night feedings did not coincide with the cereal.  Feedings started again first.. she had gotten onto a FAIRLY regular pattern of just getting up once, then the growth spurt hit.. about a week later we introduced cereal.  We will switch to just a little cereal in the morning.. sounds like good advise.    Thanks!

[stephinct]

Now it seems to be getting worse!  We had a tough night last night.  I'm sure that there's a way to improve this, but it seems to be escaping me!  I'm sure I'm doing something wrong... I've noticed that for the last 3 nights she is up at the same time.. 1:30am and 4:30am, and then she's sleeping until at least 8am.  While that seems nice now, but in a few weeks I need to return to work and she'll have to be up by 6:30ish.  Any thoughts from anyone?? Please!! We're so tired! We need some good rest!

[M and N's Mom]

Does she want the paci to go back to sleep?  How does she fall asleep at bedtime/naps (independently or with a prop)?  Does she always want a full feed when she wakes?  If so, how is she feeding during the day...full feeds? distracted?  Are the times always at the exact same time of night, or at varying times?

Just trying to get more ideas.

[stephinct]

Hi M&N'smom, thanks for touching base.  She goes to sleep pretty easily, always with a pacifier. I give her the paci & sometimes stick around a few minutes if she seems to need the comfort, and then leave her to it & she falls asleep on her own.  Once in a while she'll drop it & need it back well before she's asleep, but usually she's pretty good.  The tough part is getting her to open her mouth wide enough to get it in there when she's woken at night!  She has typically woken up at different times, but the last few days it's at 1:30am & 4:30am.  I get this groany mouth-mostly-closed whimpery cry.  When I try to give her the paci she gets louder. If I can get it in there (which I feel a bit like I'm rudely forcing in there) she will sometimes take it & go back to sleep (that just happened twice this evening, and has only happened once or twice before when I was persistently trying to get her to lengthen 45 minute naps).  She takes a full feed. But she seems happy to take a full feed almost anytime after an hour or so since last feed, so I'm having trouble gauging if she's really hungry, or just happy to clean a plate for me.    During the day, she eats pretty well.. but not at a regular EASY interval.  She's lately on 4 hr in the morning, then again early afternoon, then 3 then 2.5 as we get closer to bed. I have a couple of issues to deal with apparently, but I keep hoping that one may help the other.  Any further advise would be greatly appreciated!
~Steph

[M and N's Mom]

I'm not really sure.  Do you think she has a suck-to-sleep association?  What I mean is, do you think she only knows how to fall asleep either with the paci or the breast in her mouth?  We all wake some time at night, the trick is learning how to fall back asleep on our own.  You are feeding her 2x a night now, right?  What you may want to do is pick one feeding (the one you think she is less hungry at) and slowly reduce the minutes.  So, if she feeds for 10 minutes, offer her the breast for only 9 minutes for a couple of nights, then 8 minutes a couple of nights, until you aren't feeding her for the second feed.  She might be using you as a prop, and she may be accustomed to getting a lot of her calories at night and you want to break that habit early if it isn't true hunger.

I seem to be talking around in circles and not really helping too much.  Maybe someone else will chime in here with another idea.

[stephinct]

Good thought M&Nsmom.. I had thought of that.  She always uses a paci to go to sleep, but is ok when it falls out as she's drifting off.  She only cries for it if she spits it out while she's still well awake.  After I feed her at night, she goes back down awake & usually doesn't take a paci then and goes to sleep fine. So I'm really not sure!   I'd love some thoughts on that. I'm happy you mentioned the phasing out of one of the feeds. I was going to ditch the 1:30am feed, btu wasn't sure if I should go cold turkey & try to be persistent giving her the paci instead, or if I should phase it out.