26 month old insists on sleeping on the floor

[melissakimball]

Our dd, Anna has always been a great sleeper and has stuck to a great routine and schedule thanks to bw.  Then about 3 weeks ago, we started having sleeping issues.  I'm not sure if the cause was teething, a cold, visiting Grandma and Grandpa's house, or just the fact that I'm about to have a new baby in a few weeks.  Maybe it's a combination of all of them, I don't know, but she started crying and getting out of bed and running after us.  When we closed the door then an all out temper tantrum would ensue.  At first we could just walk her back to bed after a few minutes and she would go right to sleep.  Then, that was no longer good enough and she started crying for any number of items...water, blanket, toys, food etc...  We realized pretty quickly that these were just excuses as most of the time when she got them (ie:water or a blanket) she would push them away and continue crying.  For about a week we decided to stay with her and just keep putting her back to bed everytime she got out.  Unfortunately this seemed to make the problem even worse and her tantrums would increase in intensity and duration.  She was taking 2-3 hours to fall asleep at night, then waking up at 2 or 3 and starting the whole routine over again.  The other thing I noticed was that being next to her (lying on the floor, in her bed, even rocking her a bit in the rocking chair) wasn't helping to comfort or calm her down at all.  She would continue to wail and thrash around for hours with me next to her.  I have used the pu/pd method with her in the past when she was in her crib and it has worked great, but this time I felt like my being there wasn't making any difference at all and in fact seemed to be adding to her inability to fall asleep...not to mention I was going absolutely bonkers! 

So finally, I decided that it might be better and less traumatic for both of us to just put her down (first giving her a lot of love and encouragement) then leave and let her figure it out on her own.  The first night of doing this, she of course ran after me and had a short temper tantrum at the door, then gave up and fell asleep on the floor.  All in all she was asleep in 45 min. as opposed to 2 1/2 hours.  We went in later and put her in bed, but when she woke up in the middle of the night she went right back to the door, cried for a few minutes then fell asleep on the floor again.  This has been going on for a week now and we've been trying to be very consistent with our routine and expectations.  If we try to go in afterwards, it always makes the problem worse and she'll start up with another huge temper tantrum, so as hard as it is to walk out, I kind of feel that it is less traumatic for her in the long run than staying with her and dragging out the whole process for hours. 

The only thing I'm concerned about is the fact that she now regularly sleeps on the floor.  The nighttime crying has gotten better.  Now it is usually only 15-30 minutes before she's asleep, but I still hate that she runs after us and never gets back into bed on her own.  I've been told that lots of kids this age start sleeping on the floor and that she'll eventually choose to go back to her bed, but with baby number 2 coming any day now  I would really like to get her back to sleeping the way she used to.  Especially since they will both be sharing a room and having Anna on the floor wedged up against the door every night will probably cause a little bit of a problem! 

I should also mention that the same thing is happening with her naps, except that sometimes instead of falling asleep on the floor she'll just decide to quietly play with her toys or read books in her room for an hour or so and skips her nap altogether.  This makes me wonder if she's transitioning out her afternoon nap? 

Any suggestions on what we should do or should we just stick to what we're doing and hope that she eventually gets back to her own bed?  I'm worried that the problem might get even worse after the baby arrives. Help!

Melissa

[Layla]

Hi Melissa & welcome to the boards!

Would you be willing to set up a bed for her on the floor? I know that sounds crazy & you really want her in bed but I honestly would be happy that she is sleeping in the room rather than running in and out. Will the baby be in your room for a couple of months? That might buy you more time getting her used to her bed... but in the meantime I would try to compromise and if she indeed wants to fall asleep on the floor, perhaps set up a matress with her pillow & quit (& loveys, etc...).

What time is the nap? On the days she misses her naps, do you put her to bed earlier for the night?

[melissakimball]

Yes, the baby will be in our room for the first couple of months which will certainly buy us some time to get this worked out.  I've tried setting up a bed on the floor with her pillow etc.., but she still gets upset when we leave and will run to the door crying and then eventually set up camp next to the door for the duration of the night.  She wedges herself so close to the door that we can't even open it to go in and put her back in her bed.  On the nights we've tried she has woken up, cried and gone right back to the door, softly moaning until she falls asleep again.  Should I just move her pillow and blanket etc.. to the door where she normally falls asleep?  I even thought about moving her toddler bed to the door and then gradually moving it back as she gets used to sleeping in it again.  What do you think?

She normally naps at around 12:30-1:30 and on the days she skips it we move her bedtime up 30-60 minutes.

[Layla]

Actually thats a pretty good idea to put the bed close to the door and then move it. How long has she been in the bed for? Maybe she likes the security of being close to something (like a wall or door?). Have you tried asking her why she prefers to sleep on the floor? Is she verbal?

[zed]

Hi Melisa,

I think your right about the afternoon nap.  It could be throwing a wrench in your bedtime sleep.

Maybe try 1 or 2 days skipping the nap and replace it with some outside play and then when her nap would be about half over transition to some books or another quiet activity.  I know from my first child that when it came to rid naps altogether quiet time was as effective as the sleep itself.

I think if the days that you skip nap time and she goes to bed easier then a little fussiness in the evening before dinner and bed would be worth it in the long run.  She'll get used to not having the nap and eventually not need to be entertained in the last part of the day. 

One more thing.    No naps means a whole lot more freedom for you and your LO as you can go on longer outings in the day.  There have been many days when I needed the nap but my LO didn't.  I have always been able to get my LO to play quietly in the living room while I cat napped.  I even managed to pull that off during PT.  My inner sense of when it was time to get my LO to the toilet always amazed me.

I hope you work through this quickly and congrats on your soon to be addition.

[melissakimball]

She's been in her bed for about 4 months and hasn't had any problems with it until recently.  She is verbal, but hasn't been able to tell me why she prefers the floor to her bed.  My gut feeling is that her sleeping on the floor is more for convenience than preference.  I think after crying and moaning at the door she just eventually passes out.  I'm just worried that she has been somehow traumatized by her bed with the hours of us putting her back in and the tantrums that ensued.  Or perhaps we're somehow traumatizing her now by leaving and letting her cry and fall asleep on the floor?  She is certainly going to sleep faster now than when we kept going back in, but I have constant doubts about whether we're doing the right thing.
 

[Layla]

I am sorry I didn't realise you were leaving to cry on the floor. I would definitely stop doing that - even if the crying is taking less. Do your windown routine in her room, put her in the bed and keep taking her back everytime she comes out of the room. Don't close the door on her and let her fall asleep crying. Keep putting her back, say good night & leave. If she's in the room quiet, then let her be but otherwise if she's crying out for you I would keep going back.

Also I would spend more time with her in her bed/room so that she starts developing positive association with bedtime.

[Layla]

Also if the nap is starting as late as 1.30pm and she wakes at 3pm, at bedtime she might just not be tired enough. If she wakes at 7ish, I would do a nap at 12.30 and no later, wake her at 2pm so that she goes to bed more readily.

[Katet]

I think it is an age thing, we have had some sleep issues with my 2yo & he has slept on the floor a number of times.
My gut instinct told me when we were doing lots of "rapid return" that it wasn't supportive to sleep... so we took a step back & said what helped us (dh, older ds & me) to sleep... BEING RELAXED.
So we tried a different strategy I started reading more stories, the first night, I read until he fell asleep on  my lap (read 1 book about 10 times) then slowly put him into bed earlier in the peice & read stories to him while he was in bed until he fell asleep while I read, then we moved to me stopping & now we are almost at a point that he doesn't need me in the room... (I stand in the doorway, with the occasional look around at him).
We also had to make some adjustments to his routine as if he was overtired he wasn't able to settle as fast & if he wasn't tired enough I could be reading stories for a long time.