Breast feeding is hard sometimes

[dbj]

This is more of a need to talk it out thing...


My DD is 6 months & exclusively breast fed... well until just recently when we introduced cereal.  Anyway, it's hard not to get discouraged sometimes.  I guess I was really lucky for the first few months... maybe I got spoiled.  She latched wonderfully from the beginning, fed well and I didn't have any issues other than occasional soreness.  That is what I know refer to as "the good old days".

Now it's a different story.  She doesn't feed well, except first thing in the morning.  She struggles, fusses and cries (sometimes a lot!), she doesn't latch as well and I often have to flip her several times.  It's tiring me out and stressing me out.   I can handle a crying baby on my lap once in awhile but it's getting hard to handle so many times a day.  I've been trying to ride it out, hoping things will improve but it just doesn't seem to be.  I'm getting plugged ducts more now too.  More biting but no teeth yet.  It just seems like there's always something.  I think she's on her 6 month growth spurt now and I've had to start feeding her a night again (she'd been without a night feed for over 2 months previously).  I've been trying to increase her intake during the day so not to feed at night but it's not working, so I have to feed her.  Nights have become quite bad and now I'm wondering how long this new night feeding will go on.  I'm getting so tired!  Though on a positive note, she's usually a model baby otherwise during the day.  She naps wonderfully and is very good natured. I guess you can't have it all!

Anyway, I'm trying not to give up, but I'm having a hard time these days.  I want to breastfeed for at least a year.... I think I can... I think I can.... but what if I cant?

[RachelC]

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

Can we help you look at your routine?  Maybe there is some tweaking we can help with to make the feeds a little less stressful.

 

[Samuel's mum]

Can I also ask how long have things been different? Does she seem 'not herself' in other ways? Could she be unwell or teething? When you give your routine can you give quantities of solids. Thanks.

[JKL]

Big hugs to you!  Yes, breastfeeding is hard!!!!!  I sorta wish I'd been told that from the start so I would have been better prepared!  But it's also wonderful, isn't it--for no matter how long you do it!  The ladies on here give wonderful advice--I'm certain they'll be able to help a ton!!!  I can see myself in your post--just wanted to give you an extra ounce of support!

Jen

[dbj]

This is her routine:

E:8:00 am BF
E:8:30/9:00 Cereal (1 Tbsp)
S:9:30 - 11:00 (I've been trying to get her to do 10 - 11:30)
E: 12:00pm BF
S: 1:30 - 3:00 or 2:00 - 3:30
E: 4:00pm BF
E: 5:00 Cereal (1 Tbsp)
S: 5:30 - 6:00pm (sometimes goes down a little earlier)
E: 7:15pm BF
S: 7:30pm or so

Up until this week she was not eating at night at all.  She would go until morning.  I've had to feed her once a night for the last three nights at 12am, 4am & 1am and she takes a good feed.  I think she's going through her 6 month growth spurt, as she's also been wanting to be fed earlier than usual during the day & I did give her an extra day feed as well the day before yesterday. We just started the cereal about 2 weeks ago.

It's been over a month... maybe two that she's been fussier.  She has a great feed in the morning with the overnight breasts, but she's gotten frustrated that there's not as much milk at the other feeds.   I've tried breast compressions but have had limited success with it.  When it does work it doesn't work for long enough.  She cries and wants to be flipped and then when both breasts are pretty drained she'll go on for a few sucks and pop off sometimes crying and go on and off and on and off with crying and coaxing, flipping in between for several more minutes.  I have been trying to blame teething for awhile but I'm not sure if that's it or not.  She doesn't have any teeth yet.  For awhile she was chewing on things quite a bit more and clamping down on me sometimes, but that's sort of gone down for the time being.  I don't know.  Otherwise she's been great.  She's a happy and content baby during the day.  She doesn't cry very much other than at feedings.  She naps well. Nights have gotten worse.

I'm just getting worn out.  Pumping hasn't gone well for me either.   I have breastfed her for every feeding since she was born.    I really want to continue, but it's getting harder on me.

Thanks for all your comments & suggestions.

[RachelC]

6 months is about the time they drop the cat nap.... so her waking at night may be related to too much day sleep (although, growth spurt is possible too).  This may mean adjusting bedtime to be a little earlier until she adjusts.

She should also be able to handle 2 hours of A time at this point, so she may not be ready for a nap at 9:30 (unless that is what you meant by trying for 10 for a nap).

Those are just my first fly-by thoughts about your routine.

[Samuel's mum]

Sorry more questions!
How has her weight gain been the last month or so? Are you seeing lots of wet nappies/diapers (around 6 in 24 hours)?

How many minutes does she feed for before getting frustrated/upset? Is there a chance she could actually be finished and getting frustrated because you are trying to keep the feed going?

Growth spurts can definitely make babies more restless and frustrated at the breast as well.

[dbj]

There is definitely 6+ wet diapers per day.  I will be going to the doctor next week and will get her weighed, but  I think she's been gaining.  She's just starting to fit some more clothes now.  She is a small baby... she was 11 lbs at 5 months (so she's probably about 11.5 now), I don't know if that makes a difference.

In the morning she feeds for 10 mins - 5 mins each side then done.  At the other times she goes about 3 mins on each side initially (sometimes a bit less) and then starts getting frustrated.  I try to flip and keep her going so that the whole feed including time off the breast is about 12-15 mins, so she's probably only eating less than 10 mins.  I've thought that I'm trying to keep her going when she doesn't want to, but she often does seem to want more and goes to take the breast again after pauses & burps etc...

[dbj]

She should also be able to handle 2 hours of A time at this point, so she may not be ready for a nap at 9:30 (unless that is what you meant by trying for 10 for a nap).

I am trying to get her to stay up until 10, but she's often tired before that.  I have been getting her to 9:45 a few days though.  She often does wake up at 7:30am though and I feed her a bit before 8, so I guess she's up a bit longer.  Thank you for the tip about dropping the cat nap at this point though.  She has no trouble going down for naps, but has been having trouble at bedtime (always the worst feed of the day as well), and that is probably why.

[dbj]

A couple more things.  Wondering & worrying as usual.

DD is a small baby, about 11.5 lbs at 6 months, so would I be reasonable in assuming that her intake of breast milk would likely be smaller than that of larger babies?  If that's the case, and she's gotten to be very efficient at feeding, I guess she could be done a feed in 5 - 8 mins?  I guess I'm just gaging  how long I think she should be feeding by the fact that I know she's filled up in the morning after going 9-10 mins straight.  Maybe I shouldn't be assuming that she needs to take the same amount at every feed?  Though she does keep going for more even when frustrated at the other feeds.  Sometimes if I sing or stand up and sway it helps but not always. 

I'm also confused as to what roll, if any, teething could play in this since she feeds so well in the morning.  Could it be possible that it wouldn't bother her in the morning, but would later in the day?  That's my confusion in general, why does she feed well in the morning but not at other times... that's why I think it's the amount of milk/flow.  Is there anything other than breast compressions that I can try?

Sorry for all the rambling, but I feel so confused!

Thank you, I truly appreciate it.

[Samuel's mum]

Intake of milk and length of feed bear no relation to one another. A young baby might take 30 minutes to take in 2oz. An older baby might take 5-20 minutes to take in 6oz.

Intake does vary during the day. They tend to take more at the first feed because letdown is naturally faster first thing in the day and they are hungrier after the longer interval. Letdown slows as the day goes on.

If breast compressions haven't helped and you do really feel you are seeing frustration at the breast because she wants more milk - are her intervals then shorter after the 'frustrated' feeds?
If you do feel your supply might be an issue here it might be worth taking a few measures to try and give it a boost - make sure you are drinking plenty (especially as the day goes on. Sometimes the evening feed is poorer if a mother hasn't kept herself hydrated properly). You could also consider using some pumping to try and send signals to your breasts to increase signals (not to have milk to give her in a bottle - but literally to send those signals). I wouldn't bother pumping after the morning feed if that's never a problem but perhaps after the feeds later in the day you could spend 10 minutes doing some pumping (both sides, a few minutes on each side - e.g. 3 min, 3 min, 2min, 2 min). Because it's directly after a feed initially you may well get nothing out but you are sending those signals that a little more might be needed. After 2-3 days you should notice a different.

I think when babies are tired teething is often more of a factor (like we would be if we had a niggling underlying discomfort that we could ignore when we were feeling fresh). What signs of teething are you noticing?

[dbj]

Things that I think are related to teething are: increased biting/chewing, in particular she now seems to like the teethers that come out of the fridge, she is also drooling more than she used to and I think her gums are swollen (I don't know if it's just me, but I didn't really look at them before so that I would know the difference, but they do look like it).

[dbj]

Now I am freaking out.

I just went for DD's 6 month check & vaccines.  She was weighed and is now 11 lbs, 10 oz, and she's fallen off the chart.  She is still gaining weight, but not as much as she should be I guess.  The doctor said it's not a huge concern at this point, but is a bit.  She said that I should add a breast feed during the day, and also double her cereal intake.  Maybe this was why she just started wanting a night feed again this week after not having any for over 2 months? 

So would it be better to go down to a 3ish hour schedule or add another bf in the evening as a cluster feed (in which case it would probably cause more frustration at the breast?  I feel so bad.  I do feed her early if she's asking for it, but I guess I haven't been feeding her enough.

Thank you for any advice or comments.

[EllenS]

I don't have any advice on scheduling, but I would ask - have you gotten your period back?  I noticed a LOT of frustration/hunger in my lo right around the time I got my 1st period, and it has recurred now I am expecting the next one.  I discussed this last month with Samuel's Mom, and she recommended I take calcium supplements in the week before period is due - definitely helps!

Have you tried fenugreek & blessed thistle?  Helps my production a lot.  Also, I have read that the pumping as recommended above will stimulate specifically hindmilk, which will boost the richness/calories for your lo.

[Samuel's mum]

What kind of chart are you using? Is it adjusted for bf babies?

Please don't feel bad. Weight gain varies enormously among healthy bf babies and people generally. It's not the only way to measure how a baby is doing but for some reason we've all become obsessed by it. She hasn't wanted a nightfeed for 2 months! Heck! That doesn't sound like an underfed baby to me!!!
You could consider reducing the intervals between feeds. Perhaps go down an EAEASY route (with a short second A) rather than adjust EASY schedule and expect A times and S times to go back as well. I personally would suggest that rather than just double the intake of cereal you consider introducing a food like avocado or other foods high in calories.
If you don't feel cluster feeding would work at this point I wouldn't be surprised.

But also think about the quality of your feeds not just the quantity. If she's not that hungry she's likely to simply take less at a feed. Do think about pumping to stimulate your supply as I mentioned before - as the PP says it will increase your production of hindmilk.