Dropping nap, sleep going downhill!

[aidenmc]

I am out of ideas. Aiden is just 2 and has been napping less and less over the last month or so. He has just started at his nursery full days (he was going half days all but 1 day a week) and I am afraid he won't nap at all there. He does occasionally fall asleep but not for long. The room is pretty light and he is with the other kids. The last few days have been like this: Sunday, put him down just after 12 and he cried and fussed. After about an hour of crying I went in with the intention of getting him up. I sat on his rocking chair just to rock for a few moments of quiet. He was asleep in about a minute. Monday - at nursery, no nap. Monday night we put him to bed at about 6:20 (he was asleep after 15-20 mins I think) and he woke a number of times in the night (DH went in the first time, hesettled himself the rest). He was up at 6:20 am. Today he slept 20 minutes at nursery and seemed very tired when I picked him up. I put him down at 6 tonight and he began crying right away. I had to go in and pat his bum after a while and he was asleep by 7. He woke 3 times between 8:45 and 9:30!

I am wondering what is behind this. Tonight's behaviour could partly be because it was his 2nd full day at nursery. It could also be because he was overtired (but how much earlier can I put him to bed?). The other thing is that DH has been putting him to bed more as he goes down better for him. Tonight I did it and dh and his brother were not home.

Sorry this is such a rambling post. I am desperate for any ideas. I guess the napping is out of my hands now (except for weekends). Should I try to go even earlier for bed? I fear he would start waking earlier in the morning. He has only slept as much as 12 hours at night. Or when I do put him down do I need to be more strict or more consistent in how I respond when he cries. The thing is that sometimes he is completely fine and sleeps very well.

Thanks everyone!

[Layla]

Becky, I think 6pm is early enough. I would though be more consistent in how you respond. You could go in & either do pd or wi/wo but I wouldn't be patting bum to sleep. You might be a prop. The other thing is to keep the last hour fairly low-key & try for a longer windonw esp on the days he's not napped so that he is relaxed by bedtime & can settle easier.

I think this is just a phase. He's still failry young to be giving up naps so its just a matter of getting used to the nursery.

Hang in there
Layla

[aidenmc]

Thanks Layla,

Thankfully he napped yesterday and today. But both last night and teh night before had lots of wake-ups and early mornings. I think they were going to try to pat him at nursery, just to get some sleep into him, but he was asleep within 2 minutes anyway. Apparently they had some 4-5 year olds in the room whose parents wanted them to rest. THey were a bit of a distraction as they were not tired. THye have moved them to another room so hopefully that will help things.

As for the patting, that is only ever a last ditch effort. The problem that night I wrote was that I was due to be at a dinner party and he was just wailing. I knew it wasn't the night to try anything. Usually it is dh who goes in these days. With him ds rarely puts up mush fuss. If I go in I have to stay in the room until he is asleep or he wails. Right now it is just easier (for both of us) if dh deals with it.

Tonight he went down at 6:15ish and we actually heard him chatting happily to himself for a good while before drifting off to sleep. No fussing at all. It has been a long time since he has chatted to sleep. He has been so tired that either he fusses or he goes to sleep right away.

I have my fingers crossed that this is the start of a better phase.

Becky

[Layla]

Good to hear Becky. I hope he continues to sleep well!

[aidenmc]

Okay, so I have some decisions to make. He still won't nap well at home and I am unsure what approach to take. I have tried to leave him completely alone for up to an hour. He will just wail and fuss for the whole time. When I try to talk to him through the door, he gets upset when I stop (it seems to make things worse - although it works well for dh). After the hour is up, i am stuck trying to decide whether to abandon the nap (and face the consequences, which are not always predictable - sometimes sleeps a full 12 hours, other times it is a bad night) or go in and assist and face those consequences. Yesterday I chose the latter and sat in the rocking chair again. He went to sleep. I haven't rocked him for months and months, but I see that he is tired enough for a nap as he will go to sleep that way. I know how bad that approach is. I am setting him up to cry until I go in and rock him. That will just perpetuate the problem.

Is the answer WI/WO? I have never done that approach, mostly bacause he sleeps in the dark and once the door opens it floods the room with light. TO be honest I do dread the battle that will ensue and wonder whether it is worth it just for naps. He goes to sleep okay at bedtime.

Anyway, must go...he is quite upset now.

Any thoughts?

Thanks a lot.

[Layla]

Hhhmm I wouldn't be going wi/wo if he's not crying... ykwim? You can't make him sleep. I would be leaving him alone for the duration of the nap. If he's crying then do wi/wo but otherwise let him play/talk/wail/sing, etc... Don't go in if that makes things worse. Let him get the idea that this is nap time. At least he's getting some rest - quiet time. Something might be bothering him... do you think he is teething???

You know, I find that with Isabella she will fall asleep much better (& even longer) when we're out of the house. Try & give him some exercise time before nap (in the morning). About 20-30mins of running around, etc... so that he is tired enough for a nap.

Keep me posted
 

[aidenmc]

I do wonder whether there could be some teething. There are no signs in his mouth that I can see, but he sometimes has his finger in his mouth. He was a really terrible teether and his 1st 16 started at about 4 months. Each tooth took a number of weeks and because he had reflux and was a gassy baby, his whole system would be out of wack. And yes his sleep was not good. We had our best stretch of a couple of months after that tooth # 16 finally through (combined with our efforts at training him). So, the molars could by moving underneath the gums.

Yesterday I ended up rocking him again, mostly because we were going to a birthday party last evening and I wanted him to stay for at least a bit of it before heading home to bed. As it happens it probably made no difference. He was asleep by 7:30 ( a little later than normal) and he was up about 8 times and woke at 5 for this day today. I don't know whether he napped as he is at school/nursery still. I think we will have an early bedtime again with some Motrin.

Anyway, about the naps. I know he is tired as he does fall asleep quite happily in the rocking chair. I may have to forgo some naps, though, and go for very early bedtimes for a while and try to leave him as long as I can at nap time. He does cry though. That's the problem. He also yells and screams. If he was just playing it wouldn't be so tough. He did that occasionally a few months back and I was able to leave him for up to 2 hours.

Anyway, thanks for the teething idea. I will see if the Motrin helps tonight and let you know how things go.

[Layla]

Give him some teething relief to start with. If he's crying at nap time, do wi/wo rather than rocking him. You really don't want to create a prop.

[aidenmc]

That's what I will have to do. He will be home for 2 weeks starting this weekend so I guess I will have to start it then. He had a nice long sleep today apparently, although the teacher had her hand on his back as he fell asleep. For now I think I will let her do that if it means he will catch up on some sleep this week. When she doesn't he just watches the other kids, but doesn't protest like he does at home.