where to start? 6 w/o with many issues

[christianmom]

It seems my precious baby boy has so many sleep issues...where to start? He is currently 6 w/o (2 weeks premature) and not sleeping well at all. He requires rocking to sleep for about 30 minutes (elimination of this is a battle I can't conquer right now), he wakes about 2-3 hours later not really hungry (it seems to me that he really has a sleep issue), he hates his crib, and really only sleeps well in his carseat (reflux is questionable) and can't stand being put down out of anyone's arms for more than 3 minutes without fussing. I know that this is supposed to be a difficult and fussy period, but can I do anything that may help? We have a strict bedtime routine at 7 pm, and he is usually asleep by 8:30 including bath. He slept last night until 1130 pm. He wakes usually about 3 times, but sleep is fitful after 3 am. Then he is up for good at 530-600 am- miserable. I think that he is overtired, but recently he refuses to take any napsover 30 minutes...I think maybe that he can tell that I am frustrated because who has time to rock for 45 minutes 4 times during a daytime period only for him to sleep 30 minutes. Should I just get him used to his crib...shh/pat would be real challenge right now and I am not sure that I am up for it. HELP anyone! Even encouragement would be fine...I hear that six weeks is really a turning point

[momofclaire]

Hi,
For us, 6 weeks was a real turning point. 
Can you tell me what his day looks like?  Are you trying to get him on a routine of sorts. (it's tough at his age) What makes you say that he hates his crib? Is he swaddled?
It is normal for him to wake overnight due to hunger.  Even three feeds overnight at his age would be normal.  Early moring sleep (after 3am) is often fitful or restless due to more REM sleep. 
If you are rocking for 45 min you can probably handle shh pat and it will do more to help him learn to sleep than teaching him to expect to be rocked.  At his age he will probably need a little cuddle but I would try to settle him in his crib. 
Hang in there.  With my dd 3-6 weeks were really awful and then slowly things started falling into place.
Post back and we will try to walk you through it.
Myia

[christianmom]

Thanks for your reply myia. yes, he is swaddled, but is very resistant, and I say that he hates his crib because whenever he wakes in it, he is upset and very dramatic. It seems that as soon as he opens his eyes in his crib he awakens immediately, unhappy. He does love to be held, which is yet another habit to be broken. I am still perfecting his schedule, but it seems to start at 6 am, he eats every three hours about 3 ounces, and will manage awake time for a total of 1  hour including feeding. He is bathed at 7:30 pm to eat his last meal at 8pm, to bed asleep by 830 pm. our bedtime routine is great...and he really seems to settle easily (bath, meal, book, wind down). he awakens at 1130, 230, and 530 as he should, but shouldn't he have dropped one of these by now. It seems that for 2 days he only awakened twice, but fell back into the old habit. I am expecting his sleep time to lengthen as yours did, but am a little disappointed, he is 7 weeks tuesday. He was, however, 2 weeks early, and I am hoping that will make a difference (I am not sure if BW believes that this will delay milestones but other books I have read do). It has been suggested to put him to be earlier, but I am really nervous that he will wake earlier. Today it seems that he slept the following:
830 -1030
1230-330
400-now (very deep)

I am afraid to wake him because his sleep last night was terrible. I am planning to keep a sleep log over the next 24-48 hours...are his days and nights confused? His sleep appears deeper during the day today. they seemed as though they were at birth....but I am not sure.

About the put down in his crib...should I try for a nap first? Seems easier...

Thanks for your reply and encouragement.

Amanda

[Layla]

Hey Amanda - he's such a gorgeous little boy (Oh gosh, I think I am getting clucky again ).

I just wanted to say that 6 weeks was very tough for me/us as well. I think you need to really consider that he is 2 weeks early. Day/night confusion is very common at this teeny weeny age & not until they are 6 weeks & over do things get a little better. The brain starts producing melatonin (the hormone responsible for sleep rhythm) so you should start to see longer stretches then. At the moment sleep will be random in a 24-hr period. It won't be like this for a long time.

You can only do so much by the book when they are this young so "try" to establish feedings every X amount of hours & sleep every Y amount of hours & have him fall asleep by doing "shh/pat" but in reality he might be going through a growth spurt & will need more feedings (6 weeks there is big growth spurt), he might only take short naps or he might not be well settled by shh/pat.

Him not taking well to the cot & wanting to be rocked to sleep is perfectly natural! When you think about it, he's been rocked to sleep for the last 9 months so thats the ONLY way he knows how. Thats not to say that he will do it for ever but certainly when he is this young, in my opinion its not something you should worry about too much. I found shh/pat extremely frustrating & it just didn't work. I cried, she cried... so like you I used to rock her to sleep or carry her around. When she was about 9 weeks, I started sleep trainig. She was a little older, more settled & the whole process only took us about 2 weeks. Not saying that you should wait that long but just letting you know that I think its "ok" to help them out here & there when they are this young. They still lack the self-soothing skills & that only starts coming around about 3 months or so. You can try some naps in the cot but if he's not asleep say in 20-30mins of shh/pat, pick him up & help him out. Baby steps..... you can't spoil a newborn!

Don't be dissapointed. If he's waking every 3 hrs at night, he's doing very well (in my opinion).

Enjoy your baby!!!
Layla

[momofclaire]

Amanda,
I agree with everything Layla said. 
The only real "training" we did when Claire was that little was to wake her for feeds during the day.  We did that because I wanted to show her the difference between night and day. We also would have music and lights on during the day and at night we would dim the lights and quiet the house.  Our little girl also fought the swaddle. It seemed to really anger her so I stopped doing it at 4 weeks.  Everyone thought I was crazy but to this day the girl can stand to be restrained, she's VERY independant.
I would also suggest keeping a journal of what your days and nights look like.  I found that Claire had her own natural patterns.  That knowledge helped me sleep train when she was a bit older. 

[christianmom]

How wonderful, you guys are so very encouraging. I am going to set little goals for myself over the next week, including a sleep journal so that I can figure out what natural patterns my little guy may have. I will keep you all updated, thank you so much for the encouragement. I do hope that I see a "rhythm" in the next few weeks and will plan to initiate sleep training in a few weeks once a routine is established. thanks again!

Amanda

[Layla]

Good idea & good luck!

Keep us updated

[momofclaire]

Good Luck Amanda. 
I hope to see you around...just not on my boards