Just popping on to say that we haven't ironed out BT either, nor is there any hope in sight of "syncing" it with dd1 which really is difficult - with the evening already being a crazy time - dinner, clean-up, bath, two BTs...
We often end up with a long A before BT, sometimes reeeeaaaallllly long if the CN doesn't happen. With my lo it seems that as long as she isn't already OT going into it, she does okay, but sometimes she doesn't. With no CN, our best strategy has been to wear her or swing her through dinner - nice and mellow helps her with those long As. Getting her down for BT early on a no CN day has only resulted in frustration, but we've never considered trying to switch her to a 6/6 so there hasn't been any consistency and the day is just too short I think (she wakes around 7:00, sometimes later). BT around here could be anywhere from 7:00 to 9:00 for dd2.
If it's any consolation, once you make it to three naps, and especially by two (here anyways), not only do you know your baby well, but a lot of these inconsistencies tend to work themselves out. When we were able to dump the CN with dd1, a lot of things really fell into place and solidified as far as her routine went, after the initial transition. Then it was just tweaking the A times as needed and watching for OT. I will confess though, with dd1, I rocked her CN everyday (oh the things you can do with only one...) and fed her NWs (which of course kept them going) until about 9 mo for the sake of getting back to sleep. It's never perfect, but it sure is better than it could be!
