12m old throwing 'spack attack' in middle of night

[momma_meg]

hello whispers -

I need some advice re my DS's night wakings -
(almost 12months old /  ?spirited / ?textbook, angel-by-day come terror-by-night.)

We are experienced BWs  - we started when he was 6 months old and with the grateful on-line support of BW he slept through the night at 10 months.  The nights have been by no means perfect and he has good weeks and bad weeks.

This week has been a particularly bad one -- I'm hoping someone could advise me as to whether to go back to PU/PD or have a look at my schedule to see if there is a problem there with too muchA-time or too late in the day naps that could be tweaked.

This week with his night waking instead of being settled with a quick shush-pat he has been escalating until he is shrilling / screaming / throwing his head back / arching his back.  Picking him up seems to make it worse but he seems to  be too hysterical to settle verbally.  Last night at 2130 before it started escalating to the ear piercing shrills, I got down beside his crib and coaxed him to lay back down and with my hands between the bars of the crib he resettled easily and went back to sleep.  At 0330 I did the same thing and it was working a treat but I could tell he was not asleep but was trying to get there for about 30 mins and then he became frustrated and started crying and then it escalated.  I tried to calm him w/o picking him up but he was hysterical.  I sat on the bed with him and the 'spack attack' (as we call it) continued until he settled a bit with me holding him and reassuring him.  At 5 am and close to his waking and feeding time  - he started reaching up my shirt so I breast fed him and put him back in his bed asleep.  He didn't wake until 7am.  My DH is having the same problem with thim this week.  The wake times seem to be erratic.

2 weeks ago his top 2 teeth came in and last week he slept through most of the nights.
We put him in his cot pretty drowsy and duck around the corner or leave the room and he self settles.  He is great napper and the days are perfect.

Here is our schedule

0530  - Wake and BF  (early I know - day light savings is about to begin)
0700  -  Breakfast
0900  -  Milk snack before nap
0930-11 Nap 1
1100 -   small snack
1200p -  Lunch
200p -    Milk snack before nap
230p-4p   Nap 2
500p -    Dinner and bath
7:00p -   Bottle and Breast feed, Books, wind down
8:00p -   Asleep

Not sure if to post this in PUPD / NIGHT Wakings  /  EASY / Getting back on track
Thanks very much in advance to anyone who might have any suggestions for me!!
Momma_meg
Australia

[EsMum]

Hi Momma Meg!

My first guess was to say that your LO is getting too much day sleep.  At around this time they start working towards dropping to one nap a day and their sleep can go haywire, so most parents start cutting the morning nap short to protect the pm nap.  But then I see he's only getting 9.5 hrs at night, so perhaps he needs his 3 hours during the day...has he been waking at 5:30 for long?  Perhaps he's OT?  My LO is now 14mo, she's been on one nap since 11.5 months and she naps for 2 hrs every day and sleeps for 11.5-12 hrs at night.

What happens if you leave him when he wakes at night?  My LO was reacting the same way yours does when I went into her at night - back arching etc - and one night I left her.  She settled herself really quickly, and from what I can figure she didn't want me in there to help her, I was a distraction and she was quite ok figuring it out on her own.

Anyway I hope that helps a little!
Michelle

[Peek-a-boo]

Hi Meg--

My thoughts about your routine are really similar to Michelle's--your LO is napping longer during the day, but sleeping less at night than an average 12 month old.  I'm thinking maybe shorten up your first nap, which will mean you also need to reduce the A time between naps--she won't last quite as long on a shorter nap, then do an earlier bed time.

So something very roughly like this . . .

5:30 wake
9:30-10:15/10:30 nap
1:30-3:00 nap
6:30 or 7:00 bed time

Here's a link to an FAQ that does a great job of explaining this:  https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=95670.0

As Michelle mentioned, this is sort of stuff is often precursor to switching to just one nap.  Your LO doesn't sound like she's ready yet, but may be getting there.  There's a great support thread to chat about how to get from one nap to two:  https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=98011.390

Finally, until things get sorted out, how to handle the night wakings . . . hmmmmmm.  Well, since your LO is now a year old, you have a few more options, my favorite being wi/wo.  Here's a link to that (sorry about all the links, LOL) https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0.  Basically, rather than doing any pu/pd, which can rile up a LO at this age, you walk in and comfort briefly, then walk out, returning for a genuine cry.  It gives LO a bit more space to settle on his own. 

Hope that helps a bit.  Please let me know if anything didn't make sense.   

Oh, also, since your LO is 12 months now, I'm going to pop this over to sleeping for toddlers.   

[appletree]

Hi Meg! Sending you lots of hugs as I know exactly how you feel.  This behavior is EXACTLY what my 13 mo. lo did for about 2 wks. solid only would sleep for 1/2 increments throughout the night.  She's always had sleep issues so I wasn't as concerned about that as I was with the ear piercing screams and throwing self around, arching back, rigidness of body, etc.  This was very unlike her.  So, we decided that we had changed her diet off babyfood and she was eating more table food and especially cheese - she loved it.  When we took this out of her diet, the nighttime screamings and everything ceased.  It was weird for me as she would only do it in the middle of the night and not necessarily other times.  Maybe something in your lo's diet has changed? Just a thought.  Really just wanted to let you know you're not alone.  Wendee

[Peek-a-boo]

Oh!  Good thought Wendee--thanks for adding that.   

[appletree]

Bethany, lol - I get all my good ideas from you girls and the wonderful advice you've given me. Thanks Wendee

[momma_meg]

Thanks so much gals --  I really, really appreciate your help.  DH and I will work on the suggestions and report back in a week or so.    Meg

[elmarie]

I agree with all pp. and I must agree that wi/wo worked the best for my dd as well (after trying some other methods).  I also think that the am nap should be cut as it seems he is starting the switch to 1 nap.  I also think that bedtime is a bit late and that pm A is too long. and that bedtime should be at 6is pm if lo is waking at 5.30

[momma_meg]

Thanks very much Elmarie.  It helps so much to have different sources of information all pointing in the same direction -- DH and I will work on suggestions -- very much appreciated!!!  meg

[momma_meg]

Hey Gals -- Hoping for a little feedback if you can spare the time

I took your great advice and cut down DS naps and put him to bed earlier - here's what the last 5 days were like ....  (wh = woke him up)

           26th           27th              28th               29th            30th             1st                2nd
up         ?               0550            0515               0500            0510              0515            0630
Nap1      ?            930-1015      930-1030 wh    905-1015wh   910-1000     915-1015wh    935-1020
Nap2      ?         1335-1445     1430-1530 wh    1430-1530wh  1445-1545    1345-1500         tba     
Bed     1915             1905          1945                  1910           1900             1920              tba
wakes  0400            2145           nil                     nil               2030      2130, 0330-0430         


My ?s now are:
1> Do i keep shortening the a.m. nap by 15 mins every week?
2> As I shorten it - I just need to bring his afternoon nap earlier,right? - is 1200 ideal?
3> What's the maximum time they should be sleeping at this age -  2 hours?

I noticed that other's with early waking toddlers moved their PM nap later and put their babies to bed at 8-830pm - any comment?

Thanks heaps!
m.m.

[Peek-a-boo]

Hmmm, so it looks like you've seen some improvement, but it's a bit mixed.

As for moving the nap later to nix the early wakings, I think that strategy is more appropriate for older toddlers.     I think I'd work on getting a balanced routine that knocks out the night wakings and then perhaps you can try nudging naps and bedtime later, seeing if she'll sleep in a bit later, but I'd try to focus on the NW first, kwim?

As for shortening the first nap more, I would play that by ear.  If LO starts fighting the afternoon nap, then it's time to shorten the morning nap more.

Maximum time for naps at this age, yes, is around 2 hours.  It depends on the little one, but many are getting just 13-14 hours sleep total, so 2 hours during the day and then 11 at night is a pretty good balance.  Some do a bit more either for naps or night, but if it's too much more in either direction, things tend to get out of wack.