Do all babies have a mantra cry?

[anna*]

I've never heard Stanley's. Makes me wonder if I'm rushing in too quickly. I do wait to hear if he's really crying (rather than just shouting out or chatting), but once I'm convinced it's a cry I'm in there very quickly.

anna
x

[elmarie]

Ana,

Yes, I would say all babies have them, you just need get to know your LO's cries.. A mantra cry is usually a monotone cry-babies often do it when they are trying to get to sleep or sometimes if they want your attention, but don't really need you there.  We don't go in on a mantra and hang back.  usually they will go to sleep when mantra crying.  A real cry usually goes up in tone and is more a "mommy I need you to attend to my needs".  We never let a baby cry it out if it is a real cry-go in and attend to him,

HTH

[NicElua]

sorry for crashing...

I have the same question on my mind too, except that I think my DS has a mantra cry but I don't know how to distinguish it.

is it just that it is monotonous?

my DS sometimes just gives one really loud shout sort of cry and fall instantly asleep. Is that it??

[anna*]

Thanks Elmarie. I think I need to wait even a little longer before going in, to see if I can spot his mantra cry. I expect two minutes will be long enough?

anna
x

[elmarie]

It is a sort of a rhythmic cry that doesn't escalate-you will be able to distinguish from his real cry.  I won't go in at all until it becomes a real cry...

[anna*]

I won't go in at all until it becomes a real cry...

I thought that's what I was doing, but I don't think I'm leaving it long enough to distinguish between 'real' cry and mantra cry.

a
x

[Aga]

Hej, hej! What about hysterical cry? What should I do?  My Bibi had today two hysterical cries before sleeping and nothing worked. Finally I had to feed her for calming down! We are learning to sleep in the crib for a month and sometimes we had beautiful days when everything is working and there are days when she is so hysterical before putting to bed? I have completely no idea what to do!

[emz1907]

Im not sure Ive ever heard my lo do a matra cry either. Just as I think he's doing one it will escalate or change tone, Im so guilty of rushing in too

[christiewi]

Just jumping in here to say that although I know people say mantra cries are monotoned, I am sure of Noah's now, and it definitely escalates.  It's sometimes loud and to other people it probably definitely sounds like I'm leaving him to cry, but I know his REAL "I need you" cries and his over-the-top-dramatic, can-you-tell-I'm-a-spirited-baby cries, and though they are both pretty dramatic, there is a difference.  Noah always, always, ALWAYS cries the same cry before he goes to sleep (varies from about 2 minutes to about 10-15, depending on if he's OT or not), no matter where we are.  He'll put his energy into it and then BAM!  He's out like a light.  It's actually quite funny!!  And now that I know what it is, I'm so thankful for it, as at least I know he's telling me he's tired and about to konk out!    So, even though it seems like MOST babies' mantra cries are low and rythmic, they aren't all. 

[NicElua]

hi christiewi,
your description of Noah's mantra cry does sounds like Josh's.

I just came from putting him to nap and I made a point to be extra observant. Well yes, Josh does have a mantra cry and it does escalate a little but it definitely is less dramatic than his real cry.

He is btw a very spirited baby as well...very energetic and saps loads of energy out of me on a daily basis...

[Aunty Vi]

I was just going to ask about this as well, although not quite in the same words!  I am sure I am sometimes guilty of rushing in too soon... but what I think is Aidan's "settling-down" cry doesn't sound at all like the description of a mantra cry either.  He cries quite loudly and not really monotonously, it does vary and sometimes seem to escalate, but then he will still fall asleep after a short while.   I am pretty sure it is just a settling cry as when he is really upset he is even louder and more frantic-sounding (as DH says, he is not the kind of baby where you have to worry about whether something's upsetting him, as he will always let you know!).  But I still often panic about whether I am leaving him to cry when I shouldn't, or going in too soon otherwise!  Also, if he is trying to settle himself in the middle of the night it is very hard to just leave him to it, as he is still sleeping in our room so we get the full effect of the settling cry until he is back to sleep 

[elmarie]

As long as you as your LO's mummy know when they are distressed-that's what is important and please do respond when it is a real cry.  It is interesting to hear about the different mantra's, but I suppose it will be as unique as your LO 

[christiewi]

Aunty Vi....that is EXACTLY what I always thought!!  I was sooo confused because Noah's didn't fit anything of what I had read.  Then I had another BW friend of mine (Nicole~MomtoMegan) tell me that her DD's would escalate and could be quite dramatic but was definitely different from the-real-deal cry, and that made me think twice of how I was jumping in on Noah.  That's why I wanted to post on here, as hearing someone else say they had the same experience as me with the situation shed so much light on it.  It's so hard too, because with spirited babies, when you intervene they often get even more worked up and it's even harder to get them to sleep, so it's a fine line.  At the beginning when I wasn't sure yet if that really was his version of mantra or not, I told myself I would wait 15 minutes TOPS before going in (and would go in right away if it was genuinely crying/disress, of course), and at the 13 minute mark he stopped and was out cold.  So, that got me thinking, and I started to pay closer attention to it and realized that one of the key factors was that he had moments in the fussing where he would stop.  It was often only for about 7-10 seconds or so, but he would stop just the same.  In a real cry, he certainly doesn't stop, not even for a moment; he cries and cries until he gets what he's asking for.    That really opened my eyes, and I started to see that he did it every time, almost without fail.  So, now it is very clear and the two cries sound so different, though at the beginning I was as confused as I could possibly be because of how similar they sounded at that time.

I hope that helps!!  It's WONDERFUL once you find out that it really is a mantra cry, as it makes the path to independent sleep quicker and easier for everyone involved!  Gotta love those spirited babies of ours!! 

[emz1907]

Im even more confused now Im going to have to do my homework on this one

[button]

Hey christiewi,
So glad you wrote that post, I too have a spirited LO and her mantra cry is not like it is usually described (At time escalates a little & is not really monotone) but is so different to her really upset cry& she does it every time before she sleep varying from 1 to 15 minutes, and like you said it just stops suddenly & she is fast asleep. I was full sure I that it was a mantra cry but every time I read the description I would doubt myself a little, so it was great to read your psot and also yours Aunty vi as although I was almost positive it was a mantra cry I would sometimes worry but hearing your LO's  are the same really helped.