Night wakings and early wakings for 3 year old!!!!

[J & J's Mum]

Help!

My DS has just turned 3 and hasn't had a nap for about 3 months now.

All week, he has been waking at 5am, but also 2 or 3 times in the night.  He wanders in to our room wanting to start his day!!!   He is also taking longer to settle at night.  Nothing has changed in his routine.  He did have a bad cold a couple of weeks ago which disrupted him, but he's well over that.  He has been off play school for 2 weeks with it being Easter, but he's back now.

His rountine is a bit like this:

6.30 - 7.30 - wake, but this is now 5.00
9.25 - 12.15 - play school
afternoon - play/go out
5.30-6.00 dinner
bath
7.30 - 8.00 bed - this is now taking longer for him to settle.  (about 1/2 hour to 1 hour)

Like I said, he has had 2 weeks off from play school, but we have been active and doing lots.

Would it help if I bought a nightlight for his room?  Perhaps he wakes up frightened.  When he does wake up I take him back to his room, give him a cuddle and most of the time he wil go back to sleep.  Sometimes, I'm back in there a few times settling him.

It feels like I've got a baby back......not a 3 year old!!!!

Please help!!!!!

Rachel x

[Lissybits]

Hi Rachel,
We had the same problem with EWs with our 2.3 DS and we did early naps and BT for about a week and then when DS was over his OT, we slowly moved the naps and BT back to their normal time.
Your DS is probably OT if he's waking at 5 and going to bed at 8!! At his age, 12 hours is the average amount of sleep, so if I were you, I would try a 6pm BT for a while to get over OT and then slowly move BT back.
Once you are back on track aim to have him in bed 12 hours after waking.
HTH
Lis
xx

[J & J's Mum]

Thanks Lis,

It seems strange to put him to bed earlier to stop him waking earlier, but I know it makes sense.

I'll try it tonight.

Thanks again and thanks very much for your quick reply.  It is very much appreciated.

[Lissybits]

Your very welcome!

But don't forget, you'll have to do it for about a week before you see any difference! And then, once he's well rested and has caught up on his sleep, you can get back to your old routine!

Lis
xx

[debandbrian]

This is us too!!! Love the sound of little feet pattering into my room at 3 am!!

Any suggestions on how to make this workable if lo is in daycare and you have no control over the nap time? Our daycare nap time is 12:30 - 2:30. DS sleeps I'd say 60 - 70% of the time but we're told he takes longer to fall asleep than any other child (no kidding!!) so sometimes the nap is only an hour or so.

Thanks in advance for any more advice!!
Deb

[Lissybits]

Hi Deb,
The average amount of sleep for a 3 yr old is around 12 hours, so he really needs to be in bed 12 hours after waking if he hasn't napped.
On days that he has napped you can adjust BT accordingly.
From what I've heard, it's quite common for LOs of this age to be skipping naps or not to be napping at all.
Good luck!
Lis
x

[J & J's Mum]

Hi,

Well, he went to bed at 7.00 last night.  He had his dinner at 5.00 and then a bath at 5.30, so we came back downstairs to watch tv for a bit and he looked like he was chilling out and winding down and then he jumped up and started pedalling around on his bike!!!  I was trying to get him to sit quietly knowing that he would be going to bed earlier, but no chance!!!  So we took him up ay 7.00 and ended up reading lots of stories.  I put a little nightlight in his room.  He only stirred once because he needed the toilet and he woke up at 5.22 again!!!  I can cope with a 6-6.30 wake but not 5ish!!!!  At least he didn't really wake in the night though!!!  I just hope a few more early BT will cure it!!!???!!!!

Rachel
xx

[Lissybits]

Hi Rachel,
I would try for an even earlier BT - say 6 or 6.30. Maybe 6 in the hope he'll be asleep by 6.30.
You could also try a long walk in the afternoon to tire him out - this always works a treat with our DS.
It will take a few early BTs before you see a difference!
At least there was no NWS last night tho!
Lis
xx

[J & J's Mum]

Thanks Lis,

I was just reading your replies to the other messages and I think an afternoon walk would do the trick.  We're normally stuck in the house in the afternoon, so a walk outside might poop him out......depending on the English weather!!  We've been having really bad rainstorms in the afternoon, not to mention the hail and snow!!!  I'll sort hie raincoat and wellies out just in case!!!!  I'll also try an earlier bt.

Rachel x

[Lissybits]

Morning Rachel,

How did it go last night?  Did you have a bit later wake up?
Did you manange to get out amongst the rain/storms/hail/snow!!!!?
What crazy weather for this time of year!!
Lis
x

[J & J's Mum]

Hi,

Well, he was zonked my 5.45, sitting on the settee dropping off, so I took him up to bed at 6.00pm, read him 2 stories and he was off...great I though!!...... Until 2am.  I've been in and out of his room 5 times.  He just sits up in bed crying and asking to get up.  I managed to settle him each time, but he's been up since 5am again.

I really can't cope with it.  I'm so tired and achy.  I just long for him to sleep through until 6.00 - 7.00am!!

We didn't manage to get out for a walk yesterday.  He went to play school from 9.00am - 12.00 and when I picked him up the teacher said he hadn't been himself, didn't want to play and he looked really tired.  We popped to the shops for a bit after (he fell asleep in the car for about 15 minutes) and walked around the shops for a bit and then by the time we got back home it was about 3.00ish.  He had dinner at 5.00.

I really am tearing my hair out.  I've sat here, sobbing.....silly cow!!!!

Rachel xx

[Lissybits]

Oh Rachel - you're not silly! It's awful when you haven't had much sleep - I should know, our DS only started sleeping thru at Christmas last year!! So that was about 2 years of NWs and you would often find me blubbing to myself!

Do you think he's coming down with something as the nursery teacher said he wasn't himself? Or is it just OT?
I would just keep putting him to bed early - shift the whole day earlier -lunch/snacks/supper/bath etc and during the night do WI/WO - you know - no eye contact, no conversation other than your phrase, "It's time for sleep darling"
What do you do at 5am when he wakes?

An early night for you too me thinks, especially in your delicate condition!!

BIG hugs to you!
Lis
x

[Shdef]

I agree with PP, it sounds as if he is majorly OT. Is also works at that age to deal with the night waking in exactly the same way every time. Say night night Jacob, put him to bed and leave the room, after the 300th time it gets so boring that he'll go back. If he gets a cuddle and a drink or something, he feels rewarded for the NW, if no one comes, he gets scared so the repetetive thing often works.

To beat the OT when he is with you, I would also suggest tiring activity in the morning, then the night night thing for nap (if you think he will nap) then tiring activity in the afternoon and early bed time.

Have you got blinds in his room so that he feels it's really night time when you tuck him in?

HUGS, sounds tough 

[J & J's Mum]

Well, when he wakes during the night, I tell him that it's still night time and to get back in to bed and he rolls over an says "night night" but when he wakes at 5am, it doesn't work at all.  I'm not sure whether it's the birds singing outside, or some cars on the road, but he is ready to get up!!! So I bring him downstairs so we don't wake up his Dad.

I've ordered a rabbit alarm clock for him. My cousin had problems with her daughter walking in to her room constantly, so she bought this alarm clock.  When it's night time the rabbit is asleep and when it's ok for them to get up, you set it so the rabbit is awake.  I don't hold out much hope, but I'm desperate and willing to try anything!!

He did have a bit of a temperature last night, so I gave him so Calpol, but he seems ok this morning.  Maybe he is coming down with something....great!!!  I'll keep my eye on him today.  We'll try early BT again.  I really hope it cures it!!!

Rachel    
x

[Melsy]

Hugs Rachel.  My 3.5 year old DS wakes at 5.30am on the dot every morning.    I know how you feel.  He used to do a 6am or 6.30am wake up too, but not anymore.  And no daytime naps either.  It suxs.  

We put a door knob cover over his door handle so at least he stays in his room and we pretty much ignore him (unless he is full on crying of course) until 6.30am.  Then he can get up.  His latest trick is lying on his stomache in bed and kicking the walls really LOUDLY until we come in.         Yesterday we went to the park in the arvo and he ran himself ragged - he was all hot and sweaty when finished and I HOPED for a later start - nope, 5.30am on the dot!  Grrrr......

I'm sure he will sleep in one day....right?!?!  Maybe high school!!

Melissa