demanding lovie for her playtime - ok?

[akvareli]

Dear Mums,

my lol loves her lovie with all her heart hugs it and rubs it and sleeps well with it. I used to keep her lovie in the crib so that DD would go to sleep hugging her little rabbit:). But recently she started to demand having that rabbit with her all the time. If she can she drags the lovie out of the crib herself, if not she could stand by the crib and cry and calm down as soon as I give her her lovie. Do you think I should keep lovie for her bedtime only as part of her bedtime routine or is it ok to give it to her during her play time to help her calm down (I have started to work part time recently, so maybe she needs a little extra care, even if it comes from her lovie?
Anybody else has this situation?

(The ghost of accidental parenting is hunting me:)

thank you very much in advance!

[deb]

It may well be a phase. I'd say if it helps keep her calm and it isn't really disruptive, I don't see a problem with it. And for situations where it's not practical to have him right with her, like mealtime, maybe he could have his own special seat too!

(And don't forget to buy a spare! LOL)

[Maffoos mummy]

I agree. Foo has had phases of needing it more than others,but it's always there for him if he want it. He still has it at nearly 4 but it doesn't bother me at all-it goes in his school bag so he knows it's there but that we get it out again AFTER school and I personally think it's great it's something he can control himself at home-so when he feels the need for a little extra comfort he can choose to have it iykwim?xxx

[skatty]

Leorah still goes through phases of hers going everywhere with her and she is 2, having him there makes her feel safe and calm and there is nothing wrong with that, I only wish we had introduced a second sooner as we now have 5 Tinky Winkys but only the original dude will do  DH's nan saw a little girl of about 11 with a teletubby in her school bag and was worried that will be Leorah but I bet that girl just likes to know he is safe in her bag, well I hope by then Leorah isn't still feeding him and splashing him in puddles and carrying him around by his antenna in her mouth wherever she goes lol!! Definitely track some more bunnies down and be happy that your LO has a good friend that can help her feel safe even when you are not there 

[clazzat]

I agree - I think it is fine to let her have it.  My lo has a lovie - "daggy", which is a muslin (any muslin will do, which is fantastic) - and I tried to keep it just for sleep but gave in when she got unset about having it.  Now we take it wherever we go, but she only really wants it when she is tired or hurt - I think that it gives her a little bit of extra security.

[We Three]

Everyone who knows me here knows I am a big advocate for loveys!!!!   

I'd let her have it....she might be going thru something she can't express, and that's really what a lovey is for....to be "you" when she can't have "you".  A lovey is a constant.   I actually think it's very, very healthy.

Our lovey does not leave the house, never has.....so dd doesn't look for/ask for it when we're out. But any other time....it's not far from her.  I think if you try to limit it, it will just make her want/need it more?   My dd always wants to bring "bun" downstairs upon waking,but often bun just gets tossed onto the couch all morning while we are off doing other things. She checks in once in a while, but that's it.

HTH!!

[aidliz]

My 2 lo's are lovey addicts.  When ds was a baby he had a blanket...Gee which he slept with, I washed it and it was away from him for a couple days, never had issues sleeping.  He saw it  folded on the couch one day and lunged for it.  I never realized he had a lovey intill that day.  He is 5 and still has it.  Dd also has one...actually 3 and she takes them everywhere.  They are apart of you and them and they need them...IMO.  I would give it to her.  It is most likely bc you have started to work and she misses you and the lovey fills the void of you.  My opinion.

When dd is sad or hurt I give her Gee and she calms down quickly, it comforts her and is her best friend. 

I love loveys, there is nothing wrong with giving it to her if she needs it.

[akvareli]

Dear Moms,

thank you all for your advice! It is always such a relief to know there is bf.com, this community is like one big dear friend to me
I will then let her have the rabbit if she is really upset. Though recently she is not so desperate to get it, if she does not see it. May be she has adjusted a little bit for my being away...
But before I read your replies I did not realize I'd need another one  . But, ok, I'll hunt for some more. Actually, is it important for the bunnies to be alike? Or could the other be lets say a hippo? Hers is a present from abroad..would be difficult to find one here. And those moms whose children have more than one lovie - are they interchangeable ? I mean the bunny gets dirty and stinky so fast (and she still loves hugging and sucking it  and I need to wash it often, but it never gets dry before the next nap, so I give her a wet one no other way, she would not go to sleep without it. So if your lo's have for example two, would they be happy for having just one for their nap, while the other is getting dry?

thank you all once again!

[aidliz]

With my experience they must be identical.  They wont be at first though, you will be shocked when you open up the new bunny and how much different they look.  It will most likely take a while for her to fall in love with it and she may reject it but keep trying.  My dd would throw the new lovies across the room, I would put them in her crib with her while she was sleeping to get the smell and so she could get used of them.  DD has 3 lovies... all the same and all gross, she sucks on the corners and ears, it is a small blanket.  I just wash one at a time so she always has one.  She now loves them all equally.  She is older...3 and I cant even imagine life without Gee.

You can check on Ebay...thats where I found dd's...$50 each, i bought a used one for $25, I figured it couldnt be any more gross than the one she has.  Or you can post a picture, someone on here could have one and be willing to give it up.

[We Three]

akvareli...YES you need to get more!!!! Of the SAME!  There is a post around here from September when we were moving, and dd's lovey got lost...oh Dear God....I thought we would all die of broken hearts.  My dd just wandered around the house saying "Bun...ah ooohhh???"  Which means "Bun, where are you?"   It was horrific.
Aidliz, who is my SIL, told me a hundred times to get a new bun, and I DID get a new one early on, but I kept it packed away. Brought it out when original got lost, and dd hated it intensely. It confused her, made the whole thing worse. We found original Bun, (stuck in the dryer inside a pant leg) about 5 days later,and by then she was only just strting to accept new bun  (dh and I slept with it, and like aidliz I put it in bed with her when she slept so it would smell familiar) and now she has 2 buns.       She will deal with just having one, but at a cranky/tired times will ask for both.

My dd's bun was bought while I was pregnant at a little boutique on Cape Cod....I hought I'd never find another, but I underestimated the power of the internet!!! 

Post a pic, we'll find it!!!

 

[aidliz]

Ooooh Bun...that was so awful when bun was hiding.  Really!!! Nothing you want to go thruough.  My heart ached and couldnt imagine what would happen if Gee went missing.  OMG!!
*As I was typing that I kept thinking of real tragedies people go through and how a piece of material can change your world.

There is a website for lost lovies(replacements)...I will try and find it, because you need another.

[skatty]

I remember poor bun  It all worked out well in the end though  Get another ASAP, I left it much too late and although finally tracked down an exact replacement they were nothing alike 

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

This is funny!  Enfys has three loveys, all different!  She's had them from about 4 months of age.  In order of preference they are cow (currently in the wash because he got painted with markers yesterday), stretch the giraffe, and a taggie blanket.  She usually takes cow or stretch out of the crib with her, sometimes both.  If we go out, they stay in the car

[clazzat]

My lo's loveys are different - she doesn't seem to care which muslin it is.  I think it depends hugely on your lo - I know some who are happy to accept that there is more than one of whatever the lovey is, and others where there is one single lovey which cannot be changed!

The children I know who happily accept that there is more than one have been shown that there is more than one and know the difference - IMHO this is the better way to go, but I don't know if it is just luck.  If they know that there is more than one, though, you can explain that one is in the wash/at home etc.

[EmMUK74]

we have two duckeys and now R's 3 she knows there's a night time duckey (with its eyes shut apparently) and a daytime duckey.  I have never been so grateful to have two as when I lost one in a supermarket - luckily it turned up again.  the duckeys have been so important allowing her to take steps away from me as she gained her independence and most days now she hardly needs him (except for sleep) but she always knows he's there nearby if she is feeling her emotions too strongly.