Hi. I know this is long but its to show you how much I've read to try and help myself but I'm at a dead-end and need help....please?!
Its 11am in South Africa and I WOULD LOVE some help/advice before the night time starts.
My 10.5 monthd old DS has, in the past week, woken up 3 times at 9/10/11pm for a 3 hour play session. He gets about 2.15 hours day naps (not matter how hard I push for longer) and 11 hours night sleep on a good day yet wakes and stays awake for 3 hours in the middle of the night. OT, UT?
I have been on this forum and in desperation, other book’s forums too, reading ALL The info about his EWs and now the new NWs. I have read all about day A times and day naps affecting night sleeps, developmental stuff, props, changes in sleep needs at this age making their sleep habits go wonky etc etc.
I am aware of the 2 to 1 transition and how to change their sleeping habits for them by doing the short morning nap and long lunchtime nap (link: 10 to 12 Month Old Sleep Gone Wonky and the 2 to 1 Nap Switch. MY problem is, with these long NWs, he needs to catch up on 3 hours lost sleep so there is no ways I feel I can a) push his A time out in the morning by that 15 mins and b) wake him up after 30/45 mins when he’s so short of sleep.
He varies his sleeping habits: 30 mins some mornings and 1h20 over lunch, and other days it will be 1h30 in the morning and 30 mins just after lunch. I don’t think he’s getting too much sleep –he never exceeds 13 hours in total which is the bare minimum advised by all.
I have charted his EASY for over 3 weeks trying to see patterns formed between A and nap times affecting his night times and there are no links!
I have posted my EASY in another thread (SLEEP / General Sleep Issues / Re: EWs for 10 mth DS - OT cycle not broken yet? (WAS: what to do in the EW moment)) but the advice is drying up. Perhaps my 1 week EASY scares people off from reading it! I totally understand
It SEEMS he’s overtired but he’s had some good catch up days and nights of sleep where I didn’t think the OT would lead to these NWs! He’s never been a big dap napper but never had night sleep problems… til now.
So my question here is: What do I do once the NW happens?
Of course, I want to prevent them, but I can’t seem to get any answers or solutions to that right now, so … what to do when they happen to prevent them getting more habitual is what I am also seeking answers for:
He wakes at 11pm after going to sleep at 18h30.
He’s been teething on and off for a few months and when he wakes with a yelp every hour or two, we don’t rush in and do AP. We wait and most times he settles and goes straight back to sleep. This has happened for over a month now. NOW, sometimes, after we wait a few mins for him to settle himself, we hear him start talking and we walk in to find him sitting up and wide awake. Content, not wanting us, just wide awake. If we had rushed in earlier and gave him his dummy, we might’ve prevented him getting so awake???… it’s a catch 22 situation!!!
The first time the NW happened, my DH spent an hour in his room trying to shhh him to sleep in his cot. I then took over for the next 2 hours but it was 3 hours in total of struggle and forcing him with rocking his body in the cot; on my body; holding him firmly to stop him from getting up etc. What a way for a little baby to spend 3 hours – being forced to sleep when his mind was not able to sleep. He never cried, just sucked on his dummy and silently rejected and rebelled against our efforts.
The second time it happened, 3 nights later, my DH did the same thing – didn’t let him play; tried to get him back to sleep in the cot and then eventually rocked him at 2 hours… he finally fell asleep.
Last night, 2 nights after previous one, he was so awake I realized I had to try a different route. I left him to play with some toys for a short while; then worried he might get tangled, I lay on the bed next to cot (he didn’t know I was there) and watched him play. He played contently then would flop over in the cot. I would then see that as a sign he was getting drowsy so would help him into a sleeping position, wrap him up and try shhhing him. He just lay looking at me with big eyes for what seemed forever and then would start trying to get up. I would persist for a while then see he was too awake so left him to sit and play again in his cot. He would stand up too. But never cried, never called for us etc.
This went on for 3 hours. I tried picking him up and rocking him. I let him lie on the bed next to me and look at books as this often gets him sleepy. All this was in a dark room with a faint night light on. Abs nothing worked for 3 hours. Not even rocking on me which is my last resort at times. Eventually at 3 hours, after putting him down from a sitting or standing position in the cot, and stroking him as I always do to put him to sleep, he finally drifted off.
Quick history:
10 mth old DS always been a brilliant STTN til about 8.5 months then started EWs (5am instead of 6am).
Always had on the lower end of sleep during day - been a 30 min napper at various stages of his life. It improved but now often goes back to 30 mins for one nap during day no matter what A time I give him! So, normally 1hr 20 and then 30 mins as minimum nap durations.
He’s not had to be rocked to sleep consistently – been an independent sleeper mostly.
Recently I started giving him warm decaf tea before naps as I found it soothed him and made him drowsy. Could this be a problem?
Am I over-stimulating him? I wouldn’t say so. We live a quiet life in a small town; we don’t have many outings to big places; no shops or malls; just playtime with our puppy and myself and our helpers in the house; the odd visit to the beach etc.
Am I dealing with his NW incorrectly?
Is there anyone out there that is up for some detail of his EASY in case we can try get to the bottom of this?
It seems, after reading plenty different websites, 10 months old is a time of sleep going wonky and sleep needs changing… so I am prepared to deal with hiccups BUT I so don’t want this to become a habit and how do I stop that??
And WHAT DO I DO WITH HIM TODAY?
He went to sleep this morning after 2hrs20 A time; only slept for 1hour 25 mins (not long considering his 9 hour night sleep) and I plan to put him down after 3 hours A time just after lunch. If he sleeps only 30 mins, which I often can’t prevent,even with HHTJ, then we really in a serious OT trap.
Thank you in advance if you can shed some light on his 3 hours play time in the middle of the night!
