almost 8 weeks, advice please!

[Chicane]

Hey Trimbler,

Eloise is a reflux aficionado so you're in good hands there. Let us know how you go at the docs...

In answer to your other questions and looking over your EAS again...

You could do the 2nd cluster after bath before bed. Tracy talks about nursing before bed in a couple of the books and is fine with it. A lot of us nurse before bed, we still do and DS is 14 months. As he starts to wean that nurse will be replaced with warm milk during story time. It can become part of your evening ritual. The thing is to not feed to sleep - if you start feeding to sleep then yes you will develop a dependency on the boob.

generally speaking I think you're actually getting not bad naps. Working on your re-settling techniques and figuring out what he likes would be a good think to focus on so that you have some tools to fall back on when you need to extend naps.

It took me almost 6 months to work out my son's tired signs! Not that he wasn't giving them, I just couldn't read them! Don't beat yourself up over that, as I said, its still early days - he's probably still figuring out his signs too...

anyway - keep us posted?
x

[trimbler]

Ok thanks! Think we've had too many changes recently... started doing bedtime routine after 1st CF and decided to just 'see what happens' re a 2nd cluster feed - ie if he's still not asleep 2h after the 1st CF then I'll do it then, or if he wakes after 45mins I'll assume he still needs it. He hasn't done this yet, but if he did just sleep through then we'll just stop the 2nd CF, as Tracy seemed to suggest that many LOs don't need it past 8 weeks... However I guess I need to fight the temptation to feed to sleep, especially if DH has spent a long time trying to get him to sleep after the bath and it's 'time' for the 2nd CF - he's so tired then anyway that he just falls asleep, and I have to confess I haven't been doing anything about that... sometimes he doesn't wake at all when I put him down, but other times he does and resettles himself, so I guess it hasn't become too much of a prop... yet...

Had a bit of a hiccough though as we've transferred him to the travel cot and last night he managed to kick all the covers off and woke up cold - no idea how long he was like that as he did stir several times in the night and I'd just assumed it was because the cot was strange to him and he just resettled himself as usual so I didn't even think to check... oops! Didn't want to sleep in there today! But he did manage to settle for the last nap so praying for a good night!

Thanks again, yes will keep you posted

[EloysH]

Just wanted to add sounds like you are doing great, and dont worry too much about props at the moment.  With reflux, we recommend to comfort them first, and worry about props once the reflux is under control. 

[Chicane]

Hey love - agree with Eloise...lets just get the meds right and the reflux under control then work on the other stuff...

are you swaddling? That's a good way of helping them settle and stopping them from kicking blankets off...if you are not swaddling you could consider starting to use a sleeping bag - I use them every night (but use a blanket for nap) and have several different ones for different seasons - they are great, never have to worry about them being cold and if you invest in the lovely merino wool ones then they help regulate the body temperature and are totally natural and breathable (bit more expensive but worth it if you are planning on having another child) I picked up some fantastic organic cotton ones on ebay, brand new on sale...

xo

[trimbler]

Well, just been to GP - saw the health visitor who said she thought it was more likely to be wind than reflux and suggested me cutting out orange juice, trying infacol and not worrying about getting to the hind milk if he seems uncomfortable during a feed... I guess they prefer to try everything else before moving on to medications, so I guess we'll go with that - will keep you posted...

[Chicane]

I think that's a good place to start - if you can help him without meds, well, thats preferable. Also, I never worried about the different milks. The advice I was given was to always offer both breasts and just feed til he stopped giving those really big long eating sucks. In fact recent studies have shown that its not such a big deal. I find the best gauge is weight gain and general health - if they are gaining then they are getting what they need...

[trimbler]

Well he is gaining - consistently just under 91st percentile for his age, but then I've always worked hard to get a good feed in, including the hindmilk - after the first week or so, the only times I've offered both breasts he's just sicked up as soon as he started on the second side, so I guess I won't do that again until he still seems to be hungry when he's finished the first side... As for the EASY, won't go into that other than to say the day feeds have stretched a little so we're doing CFs 4/4:30 and 6/6:30, then bed, with 8/8:30 if he's still not asleep by then or later if he wakes after a short time seeming hungry - so far it's been all over the place as he's started night waking again, but that might have more to do with the new travel cot than the routine change - hard to tell!

[EloysH]

sounds like a plan, keep us posted    It would be great to manage his discomfort without meds if you could 

[trimbler]

Ok don't know if I should ask this on another board - but we've been using infacol for all feeds except the dream feed for four days now, and since he's been on it he's been sicking up really frequently - before starting infacol he rarely sicked up... He's also had a bit of a cold - not a really bad snotty one, but he does sound congested and certainly hasn't been himself recently. So not sure whether the sicking up is related to the cold or the infacol or just coincidental?? Can't say that feeding's been any better, and sleeping is variable although he's beginning to adjust to the travel cot now. Really not sure whether to continue on the infacol as I didn't think it was supposed to have side effects but the increased sicking up did coincide with him starting on it... When I say sicking up - it's sometimes during a feed, sometimes immediately after, and sometimes a long time after, ie just before the next feed.

[Chicane]

Hi love

is it spitting up or actual projectile vomiting?

are you able to call your doc or health visitor and ask?

I have no experience with these meds but my instinct is telling me you should stop giving it until you've spoken to a health professional.

Hopefully Eloys will have some insight and will get online soon

xxx

[EloysH]

Hi Love,

hmmm  I have never used infacol so unfamaliar with the ingredients... I think it has a little bit of alcohol?
If he's sick, that could be a reason too.  I guess you won't know util you stop the infacol for a few days and see how he goes.

Sorry that was not very insightful 

take care ....

[trimbler]

Ok - both spit up and vomit, but this seems to have stopped now Maybe he was just having a funny few days, he was certainly under the weather and had a bit of a cold - he's got his appetite back now and not sicking it back up, still on the infacol - which apparently contains no sugar, alcohol or colourant.

As for the EASY - naps still short, sometimes we get a bit more after shh/pat... It's hard to tell how much of an issue this really is for him - he'll be crying away when I'm trying to get him back to sleep, really crying hard, but as soon as we leave the room and I put him in his chair or mat for a few minutes before the next feed he's all smiles and cooing! He's still sleeping well at night, I'm just wondering whether it's really worth all that crying in his room when he may or may not actually get back to sleep, when he could just be enjoying himself playing?? He certainly looks like he could do with more sleep, as he'll be yawning or even dozing off for a few minutes between crying... Oh I don't know!

[Chicane]

Why are they so confusing?

I think the fact that he cries with his eyes closed and drifts in and out of sleep indicates he's still wants to sleep but can't.

When he starts to cry out like that do you ever leave him for a few mins to see what happens? Reason i ask is that my DS will cry out in his sleep, its usually lasts 3-4 mins then he is asleep again - its a weird thing he does that is actually not uncommon, dreams or sleep cycle transition or something...

I think its work persevering with developing your shh/pat technique. Only you know when to give up and move onto the next thing, and its okay to do that. I could never last very long...

I am away from 17 Dec until 10 Jan but my co-mods and Eloys will be watching over my posts so there will still be lots of support here.

much love
x

[trimbler]

Thanks Chicane - what do you mean by leaving him? Leave/stay out of the room or stay in and watch? Sometimes I'm in the room already (as I wanted a lie down myself!) - it's weird as he's fast asleep, then suddenly he'll be crying really hard, not the sort of cry I feel comfortable leaving... if it's just fussing I don't intervene until it escalates. What sort of cry are you talking about? I might try waiting a bit longer if I can bear it!

Hope you have a lovely time away - we're away too so unlikely to be on here much if at all for a couple of weeks... will be interesting to see how sleep goes then! Would also be great to know if there's light at the end of the tunnel (ie the darkened room I seem to spend most of my time in) - before he gets to the age of growing out of naps, that is It's just hard to see much improvement from day 1 - at least at the beginning he was sleeping longer during the day! Does something 'happen' between 3-4 months that makes it easier for LOs to self-settle and go down for longer naps?? Just trying to be hopeful!

[Chicane]

Hi love

Sometimes I'm in the room already (as I wanted a lie down myself!)

What? You mean you are actually like, resting? Are you crazy? Like, I mean, who do you think you are exactly to be getting some rest...anyone would think you are a new mum!

Its a hard one. The cry my DS does is absolutely horrible. Its loud and piercing but it lasts hardly at all. Its very common, and its hard to not think they need you, but really, if his eyes are closed then try to just observe him for a few mins...its might just be the way he transitions between sleep cycles. My DS still does this at 14 months at least once a night. In the early days I found when he did this and I ran to him i would just wake him up more. Look, it might not be that, it might not work for you but I think its worth a try.

Would also be great to know if there's light at the end of the tunnel (ie the darkened room I seem to spend most of my time in)

There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Only joking. But seriously, you will get out of the darkened room but really i feel like mothers are always in a metaphorical darkened room for their whole lives...this is it, we will spend the rest of our lives with a perpetual background feeling of worry...yay fun! Thank goodness for gin! Only joking.

Yes there is light. What will happen is that he will get better at sleeping, at understanding his world and you will get better at dealing with his fluctuations, your settling skills will improve and you will get to a point where you have more confidence. And when you won't be so sensitive to his every whimper. You'll realise that crying is okay and natural and fine and you are not a bad parent if your baby cries. At around 4 months the routine does start to settle, as long as you have avoided sleep props and accidental parenting....

but I have to warn you, there are growth spurts, teeth, vaccinations, colds, separation anxiety, eating solids, refusing solids, throwing solids, transition from 3 naps to 2, then 2 naps to 1, crawling, walking, potty training, bed wetting, driver's licenses, the desire for a motor bike, first girlfriends or boyfriends, bad school reports, sneaking out, breaking curfew, first time getting drunk, loud music, meeting 'the one', getting heart broken by 'the one', going travelling, coming home, lying on sofa all day....yay this is our future!

So yeah, huge massive light at the end of the tunnel. Walk towards it, but slowly.

mwah