HELP! Need ideas to get Toddler to eat Again...

[Mom to M&M]

So I have other posts going and the lovely Siobhan (Shiv52), along with Heidi (MasynandSpencer), has been helping with my barely eating, increasingly picky 19.5 month old son. But I'm hoping even more pairs of eyes/ideas might help?

Things have steadily been getting worse and now with this lately bout of cold/congestion (starting with an ear infection about 5 weeks ago) he's barely eating. But hungry and cranky and feeling better when he actually does eat. He was already getting picky before this started but now things he was eating up until he got sick are totally off limits. He's down to pretty much only pancakes, challah french toast (sometimes), dry cereal, an occasional banana, apple slices, chicken nuggets, pizza (sometimes) and raisin bread (he'd live on that if he could). And sometimes an Ella's kitchen fruit smoothie pouch or a yogurt. Up until this point he was also eating fresh strawberries (LOVED them), chicken noodle soup (one of his favorites in fact), broccoli potato pancakes, homemade meat patties with applesauce and chopped veggies, sweet potato fries and pasta. Now he won't even consider those things. He WILL eat veggie chips and goldfish crackers but I'm not currently offering them as I don't want those empty calories when he's eating next to nothing at this time.

I have had his ears rechecked and of this past Friday his ears, throat and chest were all clear. He does still have a fair amount of nasal/head congestion (as do DH and I and DD had an ear infection a little over a week ago) and is SUPER tired. He slept 12 (!) hours last night (he normally does 10-10.5) and had a 2.5 hour nap yesterday. And is napping now. He even freaks if we go near the high chair or booster. I've tried to make it fun and got Mickey Mouse table toppers, sing silly songs, etc but nothing helps.

Is this largely because of the lingering congestion/exhaustion do you think? Is there anything I can do? Cause when he does eat he has more energy, is happier, etc. All he ate so far today (and it's almost 1:30 pm) was half a small banana and an Ella's kitchen fruit smoothie pouch (50 calories). And he had 4 ounces of milk this morning. He was acting hungry and crying for food yet wouldn't eat anything I tried to offer.

Do I stick with only foods I KNOW he will eat for now? Try small amounts of those foods along with things he used to eat/love? Don't even put him at the dinner table/high chair/booster? At such a loss and he and I are so unhappy about this.

Thanks much everyone. It's appreciated as always!

[Tweakster]

Karen I think it's teeth and illness.  As you know we just went through it.  Up until yesterday Finn was fighting us on every meal.  He wanted to eat but could not.  Get in the chair and then he would lose it.  It was brutal.  Then Finn ate for Canada yesterday after his surgery.  Teeth are in (or are in enough that he's no longer bothered) and he found his appetite.  He kept asking for more all day long.

I think as a species toddlers and pre-schoolers are just picky really, there's not much one can do.  Like you can't make a kid sleep, you can't make a kid eat, you can only put the right conditions in place to make it conducive. 

I feel for you because I know how hard food struggles are but take the fight out of it and things will get better.  You can make what you would normally make, include one or two things you know he may eat and leave it at that.  He's not going to go hungry.  They have a survival instinct.

I do think there is something to be said about being more flexible with where a meal is eaten.  I grew up eating on my sofa for most meals - it was only my mom and I so we didn't bother with table meals.  It's what I know.  But DH is more of a table eater and so we differ here.  But I have gotten Finn to eat more food just by putting little bowls and plates of stuff on the coffee table for him so he can help himself.  We do table meals too though so he knows that is the norm.  But this is just a phase, it isn't forever. 

(((hugs))) I hope things get better soon!

[koe2moe]

big hugs to you!!  i think when LOs are unwell, they lose appetite, just like us.  With congestion, it does reduce the pleasure food brings (smell and taste are reduced).  I wonder if you can let him try food with stronger taste, if you are comfortable with that.  Would he eat more banana or more of that smoothie if you offer?  DS was ill very often for 12 months, so I know how hard it is to see him unwell and couldn't eat.  But mine would eat banana, plain boiled rice only and quite a lot of them.  He seemed to know what his body wanted.  (Basically it's BRAT).   

Does he drink enough?  I guess the most important part is to keep hydrated.  HTH

Koe xx

[Mom to M&M]

Thanks Wendy and Koe. He IS hydrated. He has a 4 ounce bottle of milk in the AM, another ounce or so of water a bit later and 7-8 ounces milk in the evening (after dinner). Sometimes he has some VERY diluted juice in the afternoon in a cup. I'd happily give him more banana or smoothie but he doesn't seem to want more. And I try not to let it bother me but it TOTALLY affects his mood. He'll act hungry and unhappy but then refuse to eat. And if/when he does eat it perks him up and then he plays some, etc.

Wendy, Finn was at least eating breakfast and lunch at DC, right? This has been every meal, for over a month, with only an occasional break. I keep thinking it will pass, but when? He already was a picky eater but now this is getting crazy. And when does the congestion/exhaustion end?

Tonight I was planning to make chicken/veggie stir fry with cashews over rice for us. But DS wouldn't have considered that even when he was healthy. So I think I'm just going to make pancakes for him and treat DD to the same tonight and eat after they go to bed. I'm too tired from this day and my head hurts too much to even try to be honest.

As for teeth, we have a LONG way to go. Only half are in - such a slow teether...

[squeakersmum]

I would say that if you're worried about hydration then don't Worry about giving him extra juice. DS has just been put on meds for constipation but the Dr said that it was so important for him to be drinking more than he was that if that had to be dilute juice then so be it. DS does drink water too (especially mine) but I found that by drinking more he actually really increased his appetite. May be a coincidence but maybe worth a shot??

[koe2moe]

Also i do notice something about DS, after a spell of not eating much, he would need some electrolytes but he can't take the stuff without throwing up, so he wanted to eat things high in salt, like cheese, crackers, or even cheese corn snacks. 

Another suggestion is to lay out some snacks, like crackers, banana pieces more often on a play table that he can reach himself without you having to put him in a high chair, etc.  So when he wants to eat, he can get it.  (I can't handle this myself because I can't stand the mess and I want him to eat only at table). 

Like what Wendy said, you can't make him eat.  Take care of yourself and keep hydrating!!! 

[Mom to M&M]

Interesting Steph and will keep that in mind with fluids. Koe, I'm trying to avoid crackers for now since he'd fill up on those and refuse meals even more but am doing that with leaving out fruit pouches, fresh fruit, etc. He did have a yogurt and a few dry Puffins (healthy all natural peanut butter cereal) after his nap today at the play table in the family room.

So is it bad if I give up tonight and just make him (and by default DD) pancakes tonight? I'm pretty sure he'll eat those and at least I sort of make them myself - I use an all natural honey/buttermilk mix and to that I add reduced fat milk, one egg, oat bran, cinnamon, grapeseed oil and brown sugar. No syrup.

[koe2moe]

Of course it's good   crackers, i meant only plain ones.  And mine are only suggestions.   Even some syrup, honey, salt... whatever that stimulates those little tastebuds are good  

Make something yummy for yourself!!!  hugssss

[Mom to M&M]

All suggestions are good Koe, thanks!

DH and I are going to have the stir fry (it's really yummy) over sushi rice either while they play post dinner or after they go to bed (though I should really run then).

[koe2moe]

try offering him some while you eat and enjoy it.  One of my friends' kids often want what the adults are having   It would be a good manipulation trick up your sleeve if it works for him  

Just something for a laugh.  DS isn't really a picky eater but he has a clear preference on softer food, so stewed meat, meat balls, pasta, broccoli are all his favourites.  He doesn't even eat carrots, or peas if he can pick them out. 

I had some baby corn especially for him (thinking that they looked cute) but he spat it out on first bite.  I just said it's yummy and took a few bites.  I then told him they are baby corn.  He copied and said baby con baby con and then he started taking a few more bites (preferred the tips) and then he was rolling the spat out pieces on the table and eating it off the table for fun (if it's a saucy, mushy kind of food, i would have stopped him and wiped it... bad mama, i know, but i can't stand mess).  Then he wanted more pieces.  I said you take a bite, then there is a piece.  And I showed him to snap the baby corn into halves.  He just kept playing and eating and playing and eat.  I think he ate about 5 or 6 halves in the end or more, I lost count.  I was so thoroughly amazed how food play got him to eat more (I'm guilty that I never really let him play with food, like i said).  That's hard crunchy veggies with an acquired slightly bland taste. 

Hope you all get better soon, Karen!!

[Mom to M&M]

Oh i've tried that. I SO wish it worked. He couldn't care less what DH and I, or even DD, are having. Unless it's junk food. Lately he won't even feed me blueberries, much less himself - and they used to be his absolute favorite!

At first he refused the pancakes - and was NOT impressed. Cause they look/feel slightly different than his favorite diner pancakes. But he ended up eating a good portion of them, albeit it NOT in his high chair or booster. That's another issue - he has total hate lately for his high chair or booster. So he ended up sitting in a regular chair at the table. Which is fine but not really safe - the chairs are slippery and floor very hard. Maybe we should get a kids table?

Also, he only wants foods lately (for the most part) that he can shmoosh in his mouth all at once. He used to take bites of things, but not lately. So apple slices go in his mouth practically whole, as does raisin bread (the whole slice), pancakes, etc. It's quite gross, seems to affect his digestion and limits what he'll eat... Sigh.

That's great with the baby corn!

[koe2moe]

hey i think kids table is a great idea!!  No more struggling with in/out of high chair and he probably wants to feel grownup.  AND it will be a great place for them to sit and play.  I also tried just by cutting DS' sandwich into 4 little triangles instead of squares (DH is used to this, I was shocked when I first saw them   sandwiches should be triangle in my world hehe).  DS just looked at them, wide eyed!!! and  been eating them happily since then (with much less effort to eat all but the crust to give them back to us ) 

At least he ate!   Well done!    Can you try making those diner looking pancakes?  Visual is everything sometimes for LO's.  hehe   

[squeakersmum]

Does he ever make food as an activity with you? Ben has loved to do this from about 18 months and it amazes me what he is more likely to try if he's 'made' it himself. Scrambled egg was the biggie here. He loves to whisk the eggs and as we make it in the microwave he gets to see the consistency change each time it comes out. I put some grated cheese in it and it cooks in. It's one of the only things he's allowed to have ketchup with!

Also, does he show any interest in a fork yet? If his food is cut up into bite sized pieces it could become a bit of a game 'spearing' them onto the fork.  The table sounds like a good idea!

[Mom to M&M]

So far he doesn't show too much interest in making food with me, though he does LOVE to play with pots and pans. How do you make them helping work logistically? I worry he would fall from a stepstool or chair. He's also not very verbal so I worry he wouldn't understand?

Will look into a kids table/chair. So would I put that next to the regular kitchen table? And encourage DD to also sit at the kids table so DS can at least see her eating/eat with her?

As for a for, I wish. He DID like using a fork around 13/14 months but suddenly stopped and became vehemently opposed to it. Which is too bad cause I used to be able to spear pieces of scrambled egg with cheese and spinach and he'd happily feed them to himself. Now, since that is one of many foods that he doesn't like how it looks and more importantly feels on his hands, he won't consider eating it.

On a good note, he did wake hungry this morning for the first time in a while and is actually sitting in his booster at the moment and had half a tiny mini whole wheat bagel with butter and some dry Puffins... NO idea what to try for lunch today though.

[squeakersmum]

I was really worried about Ben standing on a chair to help to start with, but he's actually always been really sturdy on it. He stands on the chair pushed up to the counter top and I either stand right beside him or behind him if he needs help whisking or something like that.
We made a simple raisin bread this morning (from the other thread!) and I measure all the ingredients out and he puts them into the bowl and mixes with a wooden spoon.

One of his favourite things to do is mix a load of things together in a bowl (bits of flour, sugar, lentils, rice etc...) so maybe that helped with the interest in cooking.

Does he like cake?? An all in one sponge cake could be a good place to start as there's not many ingredients and it's not really a biggie if he decides to taste the mixture (maybe even something to encourage? Don't know how you would feel about that). And if he decides he doesn't want to try the cake once it's made then you still have a yummy cake!! Lol!

Not sure what to suggest about the fork other than to keep putting one down so he can use it if he wants to. Maybe letting him choose his own cutlery set?