Every baby is different and you ned to find out what works for your son.
If I would sitting for one second in a rocking chair with my LO instead of putting him right away for a nap, I can forget about it. I know how my day will look like then
But this is us, with a super spirited, touchy baby.
It might be that your routine is too long for him or that there is something in it that he doesn't really like. I had to drop the swaddle, he was too big for that, he is a very big baby, and then I realzed he can sleep also good without it. I am not saying that you shouldn't swaddle, that works for so many LO's.
Personally, I would change a nappy during A time, at the peak of A time
I do it maybe 10 minutes after he finishes eating. This could be something that stimulates him a bit. You could also try and swaddle before reading a book and closing the drapes.
Did you try to just put him down and leave him be? It works for some babies, all goes down to their temperament I guess.
The ''talking'' you mentioned might be a self soothing sort of way, if he brings himself to sleep that way, that's great. If he does that and needs a bit of help after 15 minutes then I think it's also fine.
I don't know for how long you are doing the pat/shh - a few days, a few weeks? If you just started then it's ok to wait till he falls asleep, but within time you try to shorten the tme you are with him, so he become independent, and not turning the pat/shh to a prop.
HTH, lots of luck today! (Don't know where you are, but here it's morning
)