8 week old - really struggling with naps.

[shivi]

Hi Amy!

They're all so different, aren't they?

It really is a matter of trying to find what they like best - Emma would fall asleep in the carseat in the sitting room, covered with a dark cloth, being rocked to and fro (as I pumped or helped O with smth) and then I'd transfer her to the bedroom. Oscar preferred the pram - but it also had to be dark....

More hugs

S x

[*Becky*]

she seems to hate the buggy which is such a shame as DS loved it and the sling is getting old...she is getting heavier and it seems she is always strapped to one of us. The car works although mostly she wakes when we stop...just like H. Atm we swaddle, her room is dark, we have womb sounds on and if she does not settle herself then she is given a dummy to soothe with. The weird thing is we did none of this with H, I thought with BW knowledge that it would be easier yk?
I agree she is OT from the first nap for sure so yes tomorrow I am going to AP it so we get off to a better start.
It is great DH is around but if we are not coping with 2 of us it really scares me how it will be when he is not.
I really really didn't think I would have a napper as bad as H and at this point/age she is worse. Depressing

[shivi]

I really really didn't think I would have a napper as bad as H and at this point/age she is worse. Depressing

There is a big shift at 4 mths. For us, it was the same both times despite them being spirited but on opposite ends of the spectrum (angel/touchy sprinkles).

2nd (and susequent, I presume, though no experience there) kids also tend to get OS much easier than the first, despite their temperament. Its just louder, busier and crazier and they pick up on it all...

Huge hugs again xxx

[Shiv52]

TBH at such a young age my priority was to get sleep and I really didn't worry about how she got there.  How long do you let her try to settle for before you intervene with the dummy? 

[*Becky*]

oh not long, if she does not go to sleep by herself (which she has done) and starts to fuss I go in and use the dummy. I just feel when we are at home that sleep should be in her bed otherwise one of us is just traipsing around the roads yk? She does not sleep too well in the sling now unless we are actually walking, just being in it does not send her to sleep. It all feels like such hard work
Sorry - feeling sorry for myself tonight, it is just too hard and I am losing faith in what we are doing.

[Shiv52]

Hugs hun. 

It is tough.  SO tough.  At that age I APed to sleep and didn't worry about the independent bit of it.  Looking back at your EASY I think I would be sticking to 1 hour A time and starting winddown at about 50 minutes especially if you are giving her a few minutes to go over herself.  have you tried getting her very drowsy before putting her down so she only has a little bit to do on her own to get to sleep?

[*Becky*]

unless I give her a bottle of milk before sleep she is not drowsy, she never seems drowsy, I wish she did. It makes me want to cry how hard it all feels. why have i got another kid who does not get drowsy???

[Shiv52]

I know.  I applied for an angel sleeper with DD2 and turned out she was even more rubbish than DD1.  I thought DD1 was bad!  Least you are getting good night sleep.  her nights are amazing. 

So tomorrow maybe try winddown at 50 minutes and aim for sleeping by 1hour A time?

Is DH about tomorrow?  I was wondering about trying to resettle with the dummy the second she stirs to see can you get a better nap out of her but obviously that will only be an option if you have help.   We have a booster chair that I can set on teh floor which M could sit in and have a snack and watch telly while I resettled.  Have you anything similar for H if he tends to get up to no good when you are not watching him? 

[*Becky*]

yes we are both about so it really should not be so hard....we will try that. After yesterday DH decided we should AP the first nap. She has been a bit unsettled this am after waking. She did a great 7-2am stretch, then fed at 5am and was then awake at 6.30am and had wind....annoying so DH has taken her for a walk in the sling so she gets some sleep. I don't think either of us can bear a repeat of yesterday.

[shivi]

hope the AP nap worked. And wow for her nights. My two were exactly the same, great nights (STTN with DF at 14 and 10 weeks respectively) but crappy days.....

Sx

[Shiv52]

Her night sleep is amazing for her age.  DD2 was pure rubbish and still is!

Hope the APed nap helps her be more settled today x

[*Amy*]

Maybe this is the wrong advice and I know it is the opposite of what the bw philosophy is but I learned about the 3 month mark that dd liked to eat before she slept! Ds was opposite would wake and then sleep. Dd never fed to sleep she would just have her bf and then I would wind her and out her down. I think liz's lo was the same. Even now dd has her milk before her nap. It took me a while to feel ok with this cause I was afraid of creating a bad habit.....but you know I will work that one out when I get to it Anything for a nice long nap!
Also I always found that if I got the first nap right, no matter how crap the rest of the days naps were she would be semi ok in the early evening!

[shivi]

Also I always found that if I got the first nap right, no matter how crap the rest of the days naps were she would be semi ok in the early evening!

same here, hang in there Becky x

[gdalton]

Amy, how did you first notice the feeding preference change?  I'm not sure if my DD (~4 months) is preferring to eat before her nap or is using me for comfort since I weaned her pacifier.  Do you only feed at that time?  I'm still feeding DD when she first wakes up, so I know she's not getting much 1.5 hrs later.

[*Becky*]

Amy - DD def prefers to eat before sleep - makes EAS hard but tbh because her naps are so short we often end up feeding before sleep. I do feed her out of the bedroom and she is nearly always awake when she goes into her bed but it is the only way she will allow herself to get drowsy it seems.