Feel like a FAILURE - please help me I do not want to let DD CIO - 9 months old

[- butterfly -]

Couldn't get her back to sleep at AM sleep.  She went 9 til 9.50am  but she woke happy and playful.

We have done some more playing in her cot trying to get her to lay down.  My dad came to visit over lunchtime and so A time was actually 4 hours.  I settled her in the cot and left the room - I could hear her moaning and went back in and she was sat up sucking on her lovie's ear with her eyes closed.  I lay her down and she went fast asleep.  That was an hour ago so hoping she sleeps a bit longer.  Hoping things get better once she learns how to lay down!!

Also I've stopped going into the room too quickly (during Mantra cry) as I found that I was disturbing her.

:-)

[Lolly]

That's good progress - well done!

If she was happy after 50 mins she could have done with a bit longer A time, so tomorrow you can try the first nap a bit later if she has a reasonable night sleep.

It is hard to know when to step in, some babies have more of a mantra cry than others so well done for holding back a bit. You just need to listen to the quality of the cry to know if it's a mantra cry or an "I need you" cry.

Did she sleep longer than 1 hour?

Laura

[- butterfly -]

Hi she slept 1hr 15 mins.

she did 3.5 A time before bed and went down like a dream but then woke an hour later.  then 11.30pm 1.30am  3am 4.15am 6.15 then up at 7am.

all those wakings involved me laying her down and finding lovie.

first nap this am was after 3hr A time but she woke after 30 mins.  tried to extend but we both got extremely upset after 30 mins of putting down.  She seriously thought it was a game but she can't lay down on her own :-( 

nothing is working and i am so tired that i am starting to get cross and shout :-(  this is obviously totally unacceptable.

Maybe I should give BW a break and do some APOP to get rid of the OT??  I'm thinking of taking her to bed for PM sleep.  She has only been awake 2hr and she is yawning and rubbing her eyes - not good for a baby who is nearly 10 months old :-(

[AmandaLynn]

Hi there,
I just wanted to offer some moral support as my DD sounds just like yours. She is 7.5 mos old, has slept a 5 hour stretch only a handful of times in her life and is currently up every 1.5 hours at night. She is getting 4 top teeth so I know that's some of it but before teething her sleep was awful too. We've had some luck with PUPD at her first NW but she still wakes and needs me to do PUPD at least once to get her back to bed. A lot of times she's up 5 minutes after I leave (just as I'm drifting off again). Most nights I bring her to bed with me around 2 or 3 am but she is also restless in bed with me and the little sleep I do get is not very restful.

Her naps are short as well (35-45 mins most days) and she usually wakes up happy so it's impossible to extend.

I just want you to know that I completely understand how frustrating it is. I'm at the end of my rope, I consider doing controlled crying everyday and I get so frustrated with PUPD at nap times that I want to scream.

I have no advice, only hugs and the knowledge that this HAS to get better someday, right?

[ccynderella]

Hi Butterfly,
I just read all your posts and cried the whole time.  I'm in the same boat with my DS who is 5 months old.  He is a 45 minute napper and wakes frequently at night for me to sh/pat him and reinsert the paci.  I've reached the point where I become physically sick to my stomach every time he cries during a nap and especially in the middle of the night.  I consider CIO everyday now but can't bring myself to do it.  I was spoiled with my first DD and thought the BW was the reason but I've come to realize that all babies are different no matter how much you try to establish a routine.
I don't have any words of advice as I am going through the same thing but I wanted to let you know that I (and I'm certain many others) share your pain and frustration.  I`m still holding on to the belief that it WILL get better.  It`s clear that you need a break, though and don`t feel bad if you need to take her in bed with you.  Keeping your sanity is more important and really, at the end of the day, there are far worse things one can do as a parent than the occasional co-sleeping!  Besides that, your perseverence shows what a dedicated mom you are!!
Hang in there...

[- butterfly -]

Thank you so much AmandaLynn and ccynderella - it really means alot to me that you have both posted.

I didn't take her to bed this afternoon I put her down in her cot as usual and she only slept for 45 mins.  When I went into her room she was standing and crying but as soon as she saw me she stopped and was smiling so I decided not to put us through the torment of trying to extend it.   She has been grizzly this PM but I think that was a mixture of tiredness and hunger - I fed her early and she only ate half so I then gave her the other half at the normal dinner time.

She went to bed after 4 hr A time like a dream.  She has currently been asleep for just over an hour so fingers crossed I have a good night.

Once again - thank you so much and I hope things get better for you both soon too xx

[- butterfly -]

Ok so yesterday she only napped 1hr 15 mins ALL day and we had the best night we've had in a while!

What does that mean?

Woke briefly at 11pm then slept til 4am 4.40 then 6.30 then up at 7.30!

I was expecting a terrible night with the bad nap day!

She's gone down for morning nap but I found her asleep sat up! Hope she learns to lie down soon

[- butterfly -]

Things are much the same here. 

We've had a couple of nights where she has slept from 11pm til 4.30am without waking and then brief wakings from 4.30 until 7am although I believe it is a light sleep state at this point.

Today she napped 1.5 hrs am and then 45 mins pm. So we'll see what kind of night we have.

[AmandaLynn]

I was just thinking about you today and wondering how things were going.

I started PUPD in the middle of the night with my DD and have seen some steady improvement. 1.25 hrs of PUPD the first night, 50 mins the next and 20 last night. She has slept anywhere from 2.5 to 3.5 hours after that and then I feed her and then it varies how long she stays asleep after that. I will eventually have to PUPD for those wakings too but I'm taking things slowly.

Two things I did that might be worth mentioning -- though I'm sure you've tried everything! One - it's gotten chilly here at night so I started covering her with a fleece blanket, which seems to help a lot. Two, I'm doing PUPD at the first NW and feeding at the second waking. Not sure if your LO is still needing a feed but I was doing it in reverse before and could never stay with PUPD in the middle of the night.

Hope you get some rest and some answers from others more knowledgeable than me! Supporting you in spirit!

[- butterfly -]

Thank you AmandaLynn.  Glad the PUPD is working out for you and things seem to be improving.

We have just had two much much better nights. We haven't fed her in the night since we dropped the DF at around 7 months cos she just wasn't drinking any of it.

Our NW really don't take any of our time - it's literally just to lay her back down and give her the lovie.  Last night it was 11.30pm and then 5.30am and then 7am!!!  This is FANTASTIC for us!!!  Feel like a new woman!!

DD sleeps in a sleeping bag so we don't use sheets or blankets. 

Her AM nap today was 1.5 hours but then she refused her PM nap!!  I was panicking at 4.30pm so I APOP a CN from her and she woke at 5.15pm.  BT and sleep was 8pm tonight.

I'm wondering whether we might be heading towards the 2-1 transition (now she isn't so overtired from all the NW!!!)??

[- butterfly -]

Things were getting much better for us until  . . . . . DD has a terrible cold :-(

She is starting to feel a bit better I think.

NW seem to be getting better by leaving her if it's just a mantra cry.  Only getting a 'I need you now' cry about twice a night now (instead of every hour) and this is just to lay her back down as she is normally sat up!!

She is learning how to lay down herself though so hopefully I won't need to get up to help her do this for much longer!!!

[snowbird]

Hi Butterfly,

Just seen this thread after we were talking in a previous one.  Glad to see you are getting there ) and that LO is starting to get over her cold.  The joys of developmental milestones, hey!

xx

[- butterfly -]

Not really sure what's going on but today EASY went like this

E 6.50am
A
S 9.10am (she was rubbing eyes and yawning) so put her down and she slept until 11am!!!

E 11am
A
S 2.30pm

E 3.30pm
A
S 6.50pm

All these sleeps she went down without any fussing.

Can't quite believe she slept for nearly 2 hours this morning - this is most definitely a first!!!!!

[- butterfly -]

Fantastic night last night yay yay yay

ONE YES ONE very brief NW at 11.45pm I'm talking 20 seconds laying her back down and that was it until 6.30am!!!

One happy Mummy!!! :-)

Hope tonight is as good.

[snowbird]

Well done you! Xx