14 months old and we are STILL waking up at night

[powerqueen13]

Hi All,
My LO was an agle baby that slept from 7 pm to 7 am at 7 weeks old till he was about 7.5 moths old.
since then he has been waking up at night anywhere from 2 to 12 times.

At 14 months, we start our bath ritual at 6:30 pm and he has his bottle by 7:00 pm. he goes to sleep around 8 or 8:30pm

EASY

7 - 7:30 am wake up and Bottle (8 oz)
9:00 am   Breakfast

11:30 - 12 Nap ( 2 to 3 hours)

2-3 pm lunch

5:30 dinner

6:30 bath
7:00 Bottle  (9 t0 10 oz)

sleep by 8- 8:30

I know i have become a prop for him to sleep. he wants me to put my hand on his back or he holds it.
i SIT next to him for about an HOUR each night for him to fall sleep.

i have a bed in his room and i tried laying down on the bed while he was falling asleep and he cried and cired... (IS THIS LETTING HIM CRY IT OUT? )  i think crying it out would mean i leave the room but if i am in there with him speaking to him calmly and lovingly ...it is nota bad thing..right?

i am concered with 3 thigs.

1. I do not want my baby to cry it out... i have worked so against that concept. But if he is balling his eyes out an screaming cause he is not getting what he wants is not fair for me either.  i am in the room iwth him but he wants my habd on his back... we have been doing the hand on back for the past 6 months ... i can't do this anymore  

2. ME being the prop to fall sleep. no one lese will do.

3. his diaper is so full and leaks by the time it's morning. i suspect that is the discomfort but if i try and chane him then he is fully awake and takes a good hour to go back to sleep as apposed to 5 minutes that he is up otherwise.

[Bex09]

Hi there, because your LO is over a year old I am going to pop this over to Sleeping for Toddlers for you.

[Bex09]

Hi it sounds to me like you could do with weaning 'you' as the prop. Probably the best way to do this is using GW, this link gives a run down of how to do it... http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0 Have a look and see what you think. We used this with our DD (who was held to sleep) and it worked brilliantly for us.

You are right that if you are there with your LO, using a sleepy phrase to calm him then it is not CIO. He will not feel abandoned by you and scared as he would with CIO, he knows you are right there with him. The tears are his protest that things have changed, his way of saying "this is NOT how I go to sleep" yk? So try to bear that in mind. For this reason there will always be some tears with sleep training.

Have a look at the link and if you decide to go down that route and have any questions or want a hand to hold then let me know, I will be happy to help.

[powerqueen13]

thanks ladies

[powerqueen13]

i just read the link and i have been doing just that for the past 6 moths... but everytime i try to leave the room, he starts crying so hard. Tears flowing head and mouth banging against crip... we've ended up with some bloody teeth and lips before.

He is a happy happy baby but he gets so upste when i leave the room. it breaks your heart how bad he cries.

By the way, he never gets upset when i leave the room during the day if there is some one else.. or even when we are alone at home. and he never cares when i leave him with other care givres... he is good like that.

[Bex09]

So where exactly have you got to with the GW? Where can you get to without him crying? We can come up with a plan that can help with that last little push to get you out of the door! It will work hun honestly. My DD was about 14months and had been held until she was asleep from birth. It took one week of GW and we could put her down in her cot and WO of the room. She has done this ever since!

[powerqueen13]

Hi Bex09,

Where in the book does it talk about Wi/Wo??
And Can we please come up with a plan for me to get me out the door?

I now put him down in his crib to have his bottle before bed, but i have to hold the bottle because otherwise he wont drink it.
then i lay down on the bed in his room and he falls sleep after 45 minutes, he gets up 3 -4 times n then passes out... no tears though.

[Bex09]

Sounds like you have made good progress there. I would now try sitting or lying on the floor (no eye contact or interaction) and each night just move further away towards the door. Eventually you can sit/lie in the open doorway and then the night after sit outside the door with it open. Then you can just try shutting the door a little more each night. TBH by this stage I just WO and pulled the door closed and to my amazement my DD just fell asleep!

As for WI/WO this is only suggested by Tracy for use with LOs who have previously been good independent sleepers but have got off track with illness, teething, etc. So I think sticking to the GW would be best.

45 mins seems quite a long time for him to settle to sleep. What does your routine look like? Is DS on one nap now or still two?

[powerqueen13]

my dear DS has been on one nap since he was 9 months old!!! crazy
we start bathing at 6:30 45 ish.  brush teeth, bath, mini massage with baby lotion. clan ears and nose. put on diaper and clothes.
bring to bedroom and put in sleep sack, say prayers. give bottle in bed.
sing a bedtime song. and hope he will not keep popping up and down, or crying wanting me to hold hands.

[clairebear79]

Is his EASY still looking like what you put in your original post?  Does he often nap for 3hrs?  I know its a month ago you posted that so things may have changed, but I am wondering if he may be getting a tad too much day sleep now if he is typically napping for 3hrs.  Also his nap is just 4.5hrs from waking - is that still the case?  The combination of short AM A time & long nap may be causing him to be UT at BT hence why its taking him so long to fall asleep.  Of course if there is a prop issue that won't help things so keep going with your GW. 

I am wondering if you perhaps push the nap a wee bit later so he's awake around 5hrs in the morning, and maybe limit it to 2.5hrs max whether you might have an improvement in your nights.  You might need to pull BT back a little earlier if he needs it after the shorter nap. 

At 16 months we had to cap our DS's nap at 2hrs or we'd get 10hr nights & at 17 months we had to extend his AM A time to 5.5hrs.  I've found that as his A time in the AM has got longer, his PM A time has gotten a bit shorter, & at 18 months he currently does 5.5hrs A / 2hr nap / 5hrs A to BT.

HTH.x

[Bex09]

Hi there, totally agree with Claire. That is what I meant when I asked about your routine, what your EASY looks like now. Your BT routine looks good though. How is the GW going, have you got any further?

[powerqueen13]

hello ladies,
my EASY is still the same. BUT i never said he sleeps for 3 hours...lol
he naps anywhere from 2 to 3 hours. to be honest it's rarly 3 hours now it's more like 1.5 or 2 hours.
and now i sit outside his room and tell him a story... sing... story.. sing... on and on for at about 30 minutes give or take.

i don't how to cut it short... he puts his head down.. then springs back up and talks to me ... he does it like 10 times...

[clairebear79]

WRT the GW - I wonder if your next step might be to try cutting down on how much you interact with him and/or start gradually closing the door?  You want to get to a stage where you can just pop him in bed & leave & it sounds like you are pretty close!
Perhaps Becky can share her thoughts on this as GW isn't really something I know a lot about!

So is he still napping at 11.30am for his 1.5-2hrs?  Or does the nap start any later now?  And does he still go to bed at 8/8.30pm and wake at 7/7.30am?

If so, then I would definitely try shifting his nap a wee bit later & see if this makes a difference to how he settles at bedtime.

Is he still waking in the middle of the night or has that settled down now?

[Bex09]

For the GW, I agree with Claire's advice and you could probably do with cutting down the interaction with your DS. It could be that the story and singing is actually distracting him from falling asleep. It is great that you are outside of his room now, it really does sound like you are so close now to being able to just WO.

So as a plan, what you could do is put him in his cot as normal and then go and sit outside the door. I would avoid singing or talking at all except for if he cries, then you could use your sleepy phrase (if you have one) or sing very briefly if that is how he calms down. Once he is calm stop the interaction again, then only repeat this if and when he cries. The next night you could do the same only when you walk out try shutting the door a little more. Keep shutting it more each night until you can eventually pull it closed and go downstairs for a well earned cuppa!! LOL. How does that sound?

[powerqueen13]

ladies, i feel so bad and guilty.
we went away on vacation and his crib was in our room. he got used to me bein so close. we got back 4 days ago. the first night he cried and didnt' stop till he held my had so tight and fell sleep that way took almost 45 minutes. he woke up 4 times that night. it was burtal.
the next nitght i, again tryied to sit outside his door.. did not work.  so sat by his bed and he held my hand.
last night i sat outside the room and he cried and cried.., i sang and danced and it did not work. i finally put a pillow and lay down outside his room. he cried for 20 minuted and then slept. woke up 3 times, i went the first time to settle him and took about 30 minutes to fall back sleep only to wake up again but i leet him cry and did not go over the rest of times.

Tonight i tried singing and dancing and story telling...again, he cried jumping up and down in his crib... 10 minutes later i started singing his bed time song and he fell asleep. but i think it was cause he was exhusted.

I HATE THIS, i worked so hard on being there for my child and i DO NOT like it... i feel like a monster. how can i stop this???
HELP.

IT was going so well and now we are at the worst place ever. i don't want my son to CRY IT OUT...


BY THE WAY HIS "EASY" IS STILL THE SAME.  Pushing nap time to later only pushes bed time to alter... and no thanks i don't want that... tried it and it was a disaster