Habitual waking for Dream Feed

[Mamamateo]

Hello all!

My 5 month old son has gotten into the habit of waking at 10pm (or very close) every night, the same time I usually DF. I figure it's turned into habitual waking and has nothing to do with being hungry.

Should I nip this in the bud? Should I try wake-to-sleep? When he wakes (say, at 9:45) I nurse him since I figure there's no point in putting him to sleep, only to pick him up for a DF 15 to 20 mins later. In theory, it's not a huge deal since I am going to be feeding him anyways, but I don't like that I now HAVE to feed him at that time. I'd much rather he be down for the night and I have the option of DF at 11pm (if I've gone out for the evening) or skip the DF completely if I've decided to have a glass of wine or two.

Comments? Suggestions?

Thanks a bunch!

[ZacsMumme]

I would certainly give W2S a go, it's a good time for you to try too as its not too late
I would try at ~1 hour before he wakes, for us it was always x hrs after BT for others its a time ie 10pm on the dot. Just rouse him enough to bring him into a light sleep, and if you accidentally stir too much shh/pat back to sleep. x

[Erin M]

With my dd2 I just had to skip the df completely -- she honestly slept better without it.

[Mamamateo]

Thanks for the advice!

I tried W2S last night and it didn't really work, but I'll keep at it for a couple of days and see. I must say that I'm not really convinced it will work since I had tried it last month to extend his naps and it didn't change a thing. He would still spring awake after 45 mins. Lots of shush-pat finally did the trick.

As for cutting out the DF, I would absolutely love to since I'm a huge fan of going to bed early. The only thing is, I'm really scared of my DS will start waking for an additional feed at around 1am. Should it risk it? Currently, he's only up once between 4am and 5:30am, takes a full feed, and then goes down again until 7am.  I've tried diminishing the feed time in order to set the ground work for eventually cutting out the feed completely, but he will loudly protest.

[atlantamomofthree]

I'm in the same situation. My ds is 6 months and wakes somewhere between 9:45 and 10:15 almost every night (can you tell my BT is 10:30? ). Might try W2S, but sometimes giving him the paci works if I get in there super fast.

[Erin M]

If you cut the df, he might wake a touch earlier in the night and still (hopefully) go until morning.  Or not, it's so hard to predict with our LOs.  My dd2 would wake most nights before the df and be hard to settle - I found that after I cut it out she would sleep much better in the evenings (while still waking overnight for a feed).

[Mamamateo]

For the W2S (say, around 9:30-ish), should I simply rouse him a little, or should I take the opportunity to nurse? His BT feed is usually around 6pm and he's down for bed at 7:30.

I figure that if I feed him earlier, I might see a difference in his NF wake up time (which is now suspiciously looking like habitual waking as well...) and see if cutting out DF completely would be feasible.

Quick side not with regards to the DF: When I pick him up, he wakes pretty fully but goes down immediately after the feed.

[cath~]

Mamamateo - my DD also used to wake quite often for her DF at around your LO's age, or about 15 mins before. I used to just feed her and she'd go straight back to sleep.  I didn't stress about it too much cos I figured she'd be getting up anyway to DF.

She also was always awake for her DF (so, not really a DF) as picking her up to feed her woke her up.

Anyway, at around 6-7 months she stopped waking up before/for the DF and was much sleepier for it. Then, at 7 mos we dropped it cold turkey no probs.

So, just wanted to say that there's a chance it might just work itself out pretty soon without you really needing to do anything...

[~Sara~]

We're going through something like this with DD and are still trying to figure it out (I suspect it's OT related)...anywho!  With DS--who was waking for his DF, we did w2s for a while but it was hit or miss.  What we found was happening was the timing of his DF: we moved it forward by 30 minutes, and that fixed it.  So, we were doing the DF at 10:30 and we moved it up to 9:45/10pm.  It took about a week of doing it at the new time for all the kinks to work out and for him not to be waking up beforehand, but maybe that's something you could try...

[Mamamateo]

Thank you so much for your comments!

I'll definitely try switching up the DF time and see if I can get him out of his 10pm waking habit. I'll also keep an eye open to see if that impacts the time of his NF as well. This dang time change is not making it easier for me to keep track of his schedule and see if there's any progress. I could have planned this a little better. ;-)

I guess I'm just at that point where I'm thinking he will NEVER sleep thru the night or go without a DF. We were so lucky during the first three months since the number of his NF diminished so rapidly. I'm getting a little discouraged with this lack of 'improvement' over the last two months. I guess I should just be thankful that he's not NW and NF as much a some as my friend's LOs. :-)

[Erin M]

I guess I'm just at that point where I'm thinking he will NEVER sleep thru the night or go without a DF.

I think that's a pretty common feeling at this point.  This too shall pass...

[cath~]

I guess I'm just at that point where I'm thinking he will NEVER sleep thru the night or go without a DF. We were so lucky during the first three months since the number of his NF diminished so rapidly. I'm getting a little discouraged with this lack of 'improvement' over the last two months.

L's night feeds also didn't change much at this age (1 df, 1 nf). I think as she got bigger she also got hungrier so things stayed pretty much the same until we started solids. Then she quickly dropped the nf and at about 7.5 months, when she was on good 3 meals a day, we dropped the df.

Don't worry - it will get better!

[Mamamateo]

Update!

As expected, W2S was a big ol' fail. :-)

Strategy #2: Started DF slightly earlier (9:45, 9:30, etc.) to see if I could stop him from habitual waking at 10pm. Worked pretty well, at least for the 10pm NW...But then he started NW at least twice a night between 9pm and 12am (not to mention his early morning NF). Gah!

Since Erin M mentioned that her LO slept better without the DF, I tried cutting it out completely to see if I was disrupting his sleep. SUCCESS!!!! No joke, it took exactly one night for us to get rid of it. NW have completely ceased except for his NF. The only adjustment I made was that I added a BT feed at 7pm.  As predicted, he did start waking a little earlier (3am) but since last week it's been getting progressively closer to 5:30am.

Thank you so much for all your advice! Mama's a very happy lady!

[atlantamomofthree]

Awesome update!! 

[Fiver]

Yay!