Nine Month Old STILL wakes up CONSTANTLY and I am SOOOO Ready To Be Done

[RebekahDSC]

Thank you, Becky!

So, last night was educational... When I heard her wake I sat up in bed and made myself count 30 seconds before going to her room.  Between her feed at 11-something and her wake up at 6-something I heard her 3 or 4 times... but I didn't have to go in at all!!! She just put herself right back to sleep.  I guess I've just been going to her automatically when maybe she doesn't really need it sometimes.  Good to know!

Oh, and I would go back til he was calm again, say goodnight again and leave again.

Hmm... I wonder if I should change my approach.  I've gotten in the habit of staying with her until she falls asleep because I'm scared she'll take even longer if I keep leaving. But maybe this would be better?

Two one-hour naps is what some LO's do as part of the 2-1

I get the feeling that she needs more daytime sleep than this, but sometimes she just won't take it!  Maybe an earlier bedtime would help. Tonight's was actually earlier since she had two kind of short naps after a fairly early morning so we'll see what happens...

Do you think all A times should be 4 hours?  I suspect she will want a shorter last one if her last nap is shorter, but I'm iffy on the A time between naps.  On the one hand if it is before a CN it probably could be shorter (and is now) but on the other hand she is often harder to get down for that nap than for the first one with the longer A time.

This is what Logan did for a while just before he replugged totally by himself, so maybe give it a go for a bit.

Very good to know!

As for stimulation and needing to be moving - yes, yes and yes again. This is the physical stage at which we started going to the park every morning. Up & dressed, breakfasted and out the door. Plenty of time for a shower when LO is passed out exhausted from playing. Oh, and when at the park, they don't need as much input from you, so its easier than being at home with a bored LO who requires constant entertainment

Was he walking already?  I'm not sure Emma could do much at the park... well, at least not much that she doesn't already do it home! (Crawl and get into everything!)

Btw, any ideas on fitting feeds (nursing and solids) around naps with longer A times? 


More later but I have to go! Thank you sooo much!

[becj86]

I've gotten in the habit of staying with her until she falls asleep because I'm scared she'll take even longer if I keep leaving.

Yeah, it can take longer while they're learning but it pays off bigtime when they can go to sleep with you only saying goodnight once

Do you think all A times should be 4 hours?  I suspect she will want a shorter last one if her last nap is shorter

Yeah, she will want a shorter A to BT otherwise her day will be way too long. We did 4hr, 3.5hr (after 1hr nap), then 2.5-3hr to BT after another 1hr nap. You want to keep her night as close as possible to 12hr.

Was he walking already?  I'm not sure Emma could do much at the park... well, at least not much that she doesn't already do it home!

Nope, not walking when we started going there. Didn't take long after that though... It was good for him to be getting out and about, interacting with other kids, watching other kids, playing with natural things - sticks, leaves, stones, etc. Logan loved pulling up on the metal seats and bashing them to hear the noise they make. It was all about exploring somewhere different than home.

any ideas on fitting feeds (nursing and solids) around naps with longer A times?

It gets pretty haphazard, really. We did milk upon wakeup from night sleep and naps, solids at breakfast, lunch and dinner (he ate breakfast and lunch with me and dinner at 5pm (set in the leadup to bath and set BT of 7pm which is what we did back then ). That way he got 4 BF's during the day and 3 lots of solids.

[Bex09]

Still following along, but Becky is giving you great advice.

[RebekahDSC]

Thank you!!!  Okay, so when I start doing the saying goodbye and then coming back when she cries and then leaving again when she is calm, should I start her wind down early since she won't actually sleep until later than I want her to?  If so, how early? What about with letting her play with the pacifiers/dummies- same question?

A few more questions for you... (Thank you so much for being my lifeline, Becky!...And thanks for following along, Bex09.  Feel free to jump in any time. 

Her naps seem to be shortening more and more.  When I first upped her first A time to 4 hours because her naps had gone to 1 hr,15 min they temporarily increased to 1 hr, 20-25 min.  Then after just a little while they went back to 1 hr, 15 min and now they are down to 1 hr, 10 min.  I asked my DH to take her to the park tomorrow morning to see if that helps, but I am really starting to wonder if she actually needs another A time push! It is just happening so quickly!  What do you think? Also, if I am able to get that first nap up to an hour and a half, should the second A time be longer than 3.5 hours? (where it is now)

She is getting SOO mobile! Crawling everywhere, sitting up on her own from a lying down position, and pulling herself to stand!  It is so exciting to watch    but it is adding some extra complications to sleep time!  Sometimes when I try to put her to sleep she keeps trying to sit up in bed... or at least to put her head up.  How should I handle this? Currently I push her head/back back down  but I feel kind of bad doing that and since the goal is to get me out of having to stand there until she goes to sleep, I don't really want to have this habit.  I also worry she might be using it to get me to stay and to interact with her  .  Should I just let her sit?  How is she ever going to sleep that way?

How long can she go between nursing sessions at this age?  And how long after nursing should solids be?  At the moment I wait 50 minutes after she wakes in the morning to nurse her because I am worried that otherwise she won't last until after her first nap, but this is getting harder and harder because she gets really fussy wanting to eat and I feel bad making her wait.  I know the problem will only get more complicated as her A times increase even more.

Lastly, I keep wondering, are these little tweaks really truly going to get rid of those NWs?  I feel like I am constantly trying to find that "perfect" easy with the perfect A times and perfect naps so that she will sttn, but I am starting to lose faith that it will really work.  Is it really a matter of finding the perfect easy?  Or is it really going to take something more drastic, something like PU/PD?

Thank you for your constant support!

[becj86]

Okay, so when I start doing the saying goodbye and then coming back when she cries and then leaving again when she is calm, should I start her wind down early since she won't actually sleep until later than I want her to?  If so, how early? What about with letting her play with the pacifiers/dummies- same question?

I wouldn't start early - she's more likely to be UT when you start the process and it will take even longer...

I am really starting to wonder if she actually needs another A time push!

She might... DS did around this age. It went so fast! and yes, the second A may need to be a bit longer but remember you've got to fit in a CN and about 2hr to BT, so 3.5hr may be all you can fit in at first. I'd stick to 3.5hr after a good nap and push that as she starts to fight that second nap.

Sometimes when I try to put her to sleep she keeps trying to sit up in bed... or at least to put her head up.  How should I handle this? Currently I push her head/back back down   but I feel kind of bad doing that and since the goal is to get me out of having to stand there until she goes to sleep, I don't really want to have this habit.  I also worry she might be using it to get me to stay and to interact with her  .  Should I just let her sit?  How is she ever going to sleep that way?

If she's happy when you put her in, say goodnight and leave. If she chooses to sit/stand, she will get back down again or when she's ready to get back down and she finds she can't, she'll let you know. Logan used to sit/stand and then would call out when he was ready to lie down. I'd go back in, lie him down and he'd go off to sleep. I used to push him back down but it became a game really fast

How long can she go between nursing sessions at this age?  And how long after nursing should solids be?  At the moment I wait 50 minutes after she wakes in the morning to nurse her because I am worried that otherwise she won't last until after her first nap, but this is getting harder and harder because she gets really fussy wanting to eat and I feel bad making her wait.

Logan was going up to 5-6 hours. He got a natural cluster feed at the end of the day as I just BF'd him at wakeup in the morning, wakeup from each of his naps and at BT. He would tell me if he needed more than that and it wasn't that frequent, TBH as he had solids with water in between those feeds.

Lastly, I keep wondering, are these little tweaks really truly going to get rid of those NWs?  I feel like I am constantly trying to find that "perfect" easy with the perfect A times and perfect naps so that she will sttn, but I am starting to lose faith that it will really work.  Is it really a matter of finding the perfect easy?  Or is it really going to take something more drastic, something like PU/PD?

I think it can be done with finding the right EASY. I've tried PUPD once and it was too stimulating for him, so I've not done it since. I think you holding back and really listening to see if she actually needs you in the night could be the clincher for you. It was after I did that that Logan started STTN regularly because I recognised the mantra cry, I let him settle himself, he got the practice, and he can do it now. Having seen what happens to him when his EASY is not right for him, I know it causes wakings and the only time he's slept well in the last 1.5 weeks has been the day we got right. The thing is that the perfect EASY changes as LO grows and you're still chasing it...

Good luck! Hope the combination of extra outside play and stimulation and pushing those A times will help her