Avery, I know you have tried so many different things, and it must be really really frustrating for you.
A couple of things I've noticed with my own DS (OK he is younger but maybe it helps?):
- he will say he is hungry over and over but not actually be hungry, it is his way of trying to push the day on. So for example if he feels tired in the afternoon he will keep saying he is hungry but once he is in his high chair he might eat nothing or one tiny sip of milk then indicate he is finished and try to get out of his chair. I've worked out it is because he knows the order of our routine. After his dinner/supper there is a play time (and time to go toilet) and then his BT routine begins. So basically he is trying to hurry BT along. I have noticed this in other ways too.
- he will fidget and show undesirable behaviour at the table if he needs the toilet. I now ask him to have a try just before we sit down to eat so I know his bladder is empty and he is comfortable enough to eat.
- he eats most of his daily intake before 3.30/4pm. Because of this we have our main meal (the 'family meal') at 3pm. So, a reasonable to large breakfast, large morning snack (like an early lunch), then nap (wakes at 2.30), main meal at 3pm. He eats well for all of these unless there is another problem going on. Any asking for food after this I have worked out is more to do with moving on the day rather than real hunger (as above). At 5.15 he gets supper which I hope one day might become the main meal, at the moment it is a small snack and a sippy of milk but like I said he doesn't eat much at all. I keep offering at this time to maintain a dinner time habit and to ensure he has had an opportunity to eat if he is hungry. He often has a piece of fruit or a quarter of crumpet or toast. In many ways it seem not worth making but I do.
- his behaviour at the table and his ability to settle to eat is not good if he has not had enough attention and mummy time prior to the meal. At times I've been so busy and hurrying to get the meal ready that he has been playing on his own and asking for attention and/or asking for food (or asking for food to get attention) and I just focus on getting the meal done thinking he is hungry...then he eats nothing and is unhappy at the table. I now try to sit with him and give some individual attention just prior to the meal, read a book or something, or include him in the food prep, some way to fill his love cup before we eat.
I am always reminding myself that when a LO is attention seeking it is because they need attention. We have to work out what sort of attention they are lacking. It could be that he is asking for food all day because this is a way to get your attention, maybe allocating ten mins for some one on one play (a game of his choice, not yours) would fulfill his need for attention rather than having this battle over biscuits/hunger/not eating. The thing is once LO is nagging for food it is draining on our energy and we most likely don't feel like playing or giving positive attention so for this reason I try to remember to quickly change the focus of attention and encourage both of us to be playful instead.
I think like pps have said LOs don't really need to take their food in in the evening, so it looks to me like there is some other issue with him nagging for biscuits rather than hunger.
xx
