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Author Topic: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help  (Read 8003 times)

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Offline baileyscommet

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #30 on: August 13, 2012, 20:40:08 pm »
Well I wasn't prepared for that! We went up to little man's bedroom and read stories. He was yawning away (never does that!) but he has only napped for 30mins on a short car journey. Then after the stories, I told him I loved him and that it was sleepy time. I turned the light off, kissed him, placed him in his cot and sat down by his cot and braced myself. He grumbled a little, sat up, gave me his teddy, then lay down and within 4 minutes he was flat out!!!!!  Way before 10pm aswell!

I'm sure this will be a one off but that's a good start isn't it? My next question ladies is, given I had an easy ride tonight and little man will not let DH put him to bed, should I continue with this method until we are properly sorted and then let DH have a go, or should I let DH do tomorrow night? Just wondering what is the least distressing for him?

I'll make sure that I do this with nap time tomorrow although I'm confident this he will resist.

Your advice has been invaluable, thank you so much xxx
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Offline anna*

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #31 on: August 13, 2012, 20:43:35 pm »
Fantastic!

I think I would get DH doing every second night. Yes it will be distressing but as we've discussed before, you can't change things up on toddlers without protest, and I think it will be good for him to learn that a) it's bedtime when mum or dad say it's bedtime and b) sometimes dad puts you to bed. In fact, every other night dad puts you to bed, because mum needs to put her feet up. Also will stand you in good stead for when the next little one arrives.
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Offline Shiv52

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #32 on: August 13, 2012, 20:44:38 pm »
Wow!  Great start!

I would do tomorrow night again if i were you and then get DH to do the next night.  Given  you are establishing new rules its probably best to get DH involved from the get go.  Its hard to know for sure though.  I did tend to do the sleep training first though  and then get DH involved after.  What do you think?  I think i am second guessign myself and thinking maybe you do it for a week then DH? 
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Offline anna*

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #33 on: August 13, 2012, 20:45:49 pm »
Like Shiv I've always done the sleep training BUT then neither of mine have properly resisted daddy doing bedtime as and when necessary... I like Shiv's idea that you do tomorrow and then DH has a go.

When you're doing sleep training it's always worth remembering that progress is key and to an extent YOU set the pace. By which I mean, don't wait until sleep is 'sorted' before getting DH involved. Or, don't wait until he's falling asleep 'perfectly' before gettng out the door. Progress, progress. Otherwise youll just find yourself held hostage in other ways.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2012, 20:47:45 pm by anna* »
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Offline anna*

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #34 on: August 13, 2012, 20:48:09 pm »
PS: fingers crossed for a really peaceful and long night for him so he's nice and rested for tomorrow
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Offline Shiv52

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #35 on: August 13, 2012, 20:51:24 pm »
Quote from: anna* on August 13, 2012, 20:45:49 pm
. I like Shiv's idea that you do tomorrow and then DH has a go.
:-*Anna

Thinking of it, I do think this is the better way.  Best to start as you mean to go on.  When i think back we weren't even able to alternate bedtime nights as DD1 just kept holding out for me on 'daddy nights' and in the end DH had to do all bedtimes.   And in hindsight had i involved him from the outset she may well have accepted him more readily.  given you are already going through these big changes I would get DH involved asap xx
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Offline j.and.e

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #36 on: August 13, 2012, 20:54:15 pm »
I usd to bf my ds2 before bed but wanted dh to do bt and one of the ladies here said to just do it, so every other nite dh put him to bed (and he went down fine!) he still expected me to bf him at bt thou! The first few times you may have to ignore a few 'mama's thou and remember he's with daddy and its ok, but just time for bed. Also best not to 'rescue' as he needs to learn that daddy puts him to bed too. Xx
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Offline Shiv52

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #37 on: August 13, 2012, 20:56:20 pm »
Quote from: j.and.e on August 13, 2012, 20:54:15 pm
Also best not to 'rescue' as he needs to learn that daddy puts him to bed too. Xx
Too true.  I did too much rescuing. 
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Offline baileyscommet

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #38 on: August 14, 2012, 06:13:38 am »
Well my little man slept right through until 6.45 so that was 9.5 hours sleep - a rarity!

I will try nap time today which I know he will resist, how many times do you try for? I know you said for 45 mins, then to take a break, then try again but just wondered how many attempts you suggest?

I'll do the training tonight and then suggest DH does tomorrow. I'm dreading that though as little man won't even let me out if his sight towards bt. He just screams for me and calls for me until I reappear even if I try to go for a wee on my own.  Not rescuing is going to be tough as I've always done the bt's and like you 'j and e' until recently I bf to sleep. I had to stop as I've had hypremesis with this pregnancy and couldn't take the medication and bf.

So the plan is let DH do tomorrow night... As you say this is going to be hard I'm sure but has to be tackled before no 3 makes an appearance right? 
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Offline anna*

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #39 on: August 14, 2012, 07:47:46 am »
Nice work on last night!! :D
I'd try for an hour, then take a break for an hour, and I'd try twice. He went to bed at 9.15 last night? Are you going to being bedtime forward?
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Offline baileyscommet

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #40 on: August 14, 2012, 08:29:06 am »
Morning Anna, thank you! Although I realise last night was partly a fluke because he was so tired and had only napped for 30 mins all day. Yes I was thinking of taking him up for his wind down at about 8pm, what do you think?
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Offline anna*

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #41 on: August 14, 2012, 10:47:19 am »
That still seems pretty late unless he has a long nap today. If he has a decent map I would aim for asleep at 7.30-8. Yes he may have been exhausted yesterday but it was still good that he fell asleep in his cot!
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Offline baileyscommet

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #42 on: August 14, 2012, 11:07:29 am »
Hi Anna, I'm absolutely gobsmacked! I could tell that little man was tired at 11ish, so we had a snack, then we went up to his room and read stories. I put him in his cot and lay down on the floor next to him. There was a lot of gymnastics, then running up and down, then bouncing, then a few tears before laying down and falling asleep - all within 23 minutes!!! I sooooooo wasn't prepared for that!

How long do you think I should let him nap?

In an ideal world what should his A time be? It was just over 5 hours today, is that okay?

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Offline anna*

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #43 on: August 14, 2012, 11:18:15 am »
Once he's caught up on some sleep his A time will probably be a wee bot longer but that sounds great!! Well done little boy!! Id get him go 1.5-2 hrs - its early enough that he will still have a decent A time before bed.
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Offline j.and.e

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Re: 18 month old - no sleep pattern and doesn't go to bed until gone 10pm, need help
« Reply #44 on: August 14, 2012, 20:05:32 pm »
sounds great! Hp tonite went well xx
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