Back again... These NW and EW are a killer!

[My little Liam]

So yesterday was a bust...
Here was our day

WU 0650
A 3hr20
S 1010-1110
A 2hr50
S 1400-1437
A 3hr25 tried apoping a CN, no luck so EBT
BT 1805
NW 1900 let out a scream and resettled alone, obviously from OT
NW 2030-2100
NW 0015 BF
EW 0420 I tried a different approach this time and picked him up. I tried to get him to fall asleep on me. He closed his eyes almost instantly but it seemed as if he couldn't sleep and was only resting with his eyes closed. If I moved he opened them. We sat like this until his WU. I thought I would try to move him to bed, no such luck. He woke and was done sleeping.
WU 0550 crying, bad mood all morning

Obviously our day yesterday was bad. I thought after such a good nap the day before with the morning A that we should keep it, especially since he was acting super tired all morning, but big mistake! This morning i ignored his cues and I tried putting him down at 3hr30. He cried and fought me until 03hr40. I'm not sure yet if OT or UT... Seems strange for it to be UT but everything is just making no sense! 03hr20 UT 3hr30 OT? I don't know, we'll see...

Last nights EW was exactly at 0420 again... What's up with that? Could it have started to turn into a habit? Why is he having such a hard time falling back asleep? Even on me?
Another thing... Wen I BF him last night at his 0015 NW he didn't fall back asleep on the boob which is really strange. He would always, since the day he was born, fall back to sleep on the boob in the middle of the night. This time he was still wide awake and he was having a hard time getting back to sleep.... I am guessing its from OT, but is it from our wonky day or from being super OT from the last few weeks?

[becj86]

I thought after such a good nap the day before with the morning A that we should keep it, especially since he was acting super tired all morning, but big mistake! This morning i ignored his cues and I tried putting him down at 3hr30. He cried and fought me until 03hr40. I'm not sure yet if OT or UT... Seems strange for it to be UT but everything is just making no sense! 03hr20 UT 3hr30 OT? I don't know, we'll see...

This is precisely why you have to stick like glue to one A time for a few days before you know - if you keep chopping and changing, you won't be able to see a pattern, as things like the developmental stuff that's going on at the moment have an immeasurable effect and you could be seeing OT from a few days ago starting to affect today's naps/NW's.

[My little Liam]

Well it has been an hour and he is still asleep so we will see how long he sleeps. He did stir a bit at the 30 minute mark. Does that mean he was a bit OT? He has gotten good at sleeping through OT during naps...

[My little Liam]

And he is awake... 1hr10 min nap. Apoped and he slept for 5 more minutes :/
He is still so tired! Red eyes and rubbing them... Although he is smiling. Could he be UT?
You think I should keep with 3hr40 for a few days? I tried at 3hr30 but he only fell asleep at 3hr40 so I don't know if to keep at 3hr30 or 3hr40.
What about the second nap? If we get a shorter nap do I make the a shorter or still keep the same?
I guess I am confused because some night we are getting 9.5hrs of sleep and some nights 11.5 so how can I keep the a times the same? Wont he get OT like that?

[becj86]

If you keep the routine consistent, he will have more of a chance to self-regulate the sleep total - if you chop and change trying to get him to sleep more, you make it harder for his body to know how much sleep he needs when, yk?

When you get a short nap, the general rule is to decrease the next A time by the amount of sleep lost - so he missed out on 20min sleep (1hr30 required nap, 1hr10 actual nap), so reduce A time by 20min. That's not an exact science by any means, but its a starting point so you can work out what works for him.

[My little Liam]

Just wanted to update that this morning we kind of lost track of time and were super busy. Once I looked at the clock almost 4hrs had past since my LO woke up this morning. When I put him down he was asleep in less than a minute! This last week he has been fighting me for every nap at 3hr30/40! Maybe I was putting him down too wary all along. I remember you saying your some did a 4/3/2.5 A for some time.... I was just too afraid to try it! Could that be the cause for all the EW?!? I am still shocked how easily he went to sleep! No fighting, no trying to roll over, no crying. He hasnt gone down so easily in weeks! Maybe I have finally figured it out! Oh I hope so! My fingers are crossed for a good nap!

So now I have a few questions...
If his morning A is 4hrs, is it possible he needs a 4hr A for his second nap too? He is only 7.5 months old. Is that even normal? Or if he does such a high morning A then he has to have a shorter second A?

I would love some advice where to go from here seeing that I was wrong all along! I really don't know what to do now with second A and BT!

[becj86]

If his morning A is 4hrs, is it possible he needs a 4hr A for his second nap too? He is only 7.5 months old. Is that even normal? Or if he does such a high morning A then he has to have a shorter second A?

No way to know without trying It would be unusual to be doing 4hr for both 1st and 2nd A times at this age. I'd be watching for cues at 3hr and putting down at 3hr30 maximum for a few days and see how you go - you'll have to cap the PM nap...

[My little Liam]

1st nap 1hr25 ill stick with it and see what happens

[My little Liam]

So an update from yesterday. I think I made the right decision upping the A times. Our night is still far from perfect but it is still pretty damn good compared to the last few weeks

WU 0615
A 4hr
S 1015-1140
A 3hr20
S 1500-1610
A 2hr30
BT 1840
NW 0300-0345 crawled and tried to settle alone in crib for 20 min until paci fell on the floor. Then started to cry. BF
EW 0530 slept in my arms on chair until WU
WU 0625

[becj86]

Cool, sounds like a routine to stick with for a few days and see what happens.

[My little Liam]

I'm back and not with any good news...
We have had a pretty difficult week. LO got a cold and has been with a runny nose and cough since Sunday night. A times have been a mess and so has sleep. I have been apoping to sleep all week because he cries hysterically every time I put him down for a nap. I am so confused now with our A's and I think he has gotten used to BF to sleep. I don't really know what to do. Our A times have been very irregular since he has been sleeping badly because of the stuffy nose. I guess breathing through your mouth while sucking on a paci is a bit difficult! 
He is now in a better mood even though he is still coughing so we are through the worst of it. I would like to start working on him sleeping independently again but he cries hysterically every time and I don't know if it is from the habit I have now formed or because he is still not feeling 100%.
I have been keeping to A times of 3hr30-4hrs but they have all been with heavy crying and all have led to naps of 1hr30-2hrs so I am having a difficult time deciding what to stick to. His nights have been BAD except for one night, the day after he became sick, I think he was just exhausted from feeling bad. Although that day he had a 40 min UT nap and then a 1hr30 pm nap, so maybe That is just the perfect amount of day sleep for him? The rest of the week we have gotten nights of 8hr30-9hr30 so he is extremely OT but during the day he has been sleeping 3-3.5hrs. Maybe that's too much day sleep for him?
Lucky me... I am now sick too!
Anyways, last night one of his NW was at 0300 (after a 2 hr waking at 2200) and I was feeling really sick and decided to wait a bit before going to him. He was not crying hard just kind of calling for me. I was surprised to wake again at 0500 to see that he was asleep and didn't need me. AND HE WAS ASLEEP ON HIS TUMMY! That's a first!!! Then at 0530 he woke again and I decided to go to him thinking that it was a much more difficult hour to fall back asleep alone. The moment he saw me he started to cry hysterically and then I had to pick him up. I think he does much better when I am not there... But I don't want him to think I am abandoning him so what do I do? This morning DH said he heard him cry and didn't understand why I didn't go to him... In my DH eyes he was crying but to me it wasn't really a real cry, ykwim?

So, now what do I do? I am confused about A times, I am confused about day sleep totals, I am confused about him falling asleep independently. Is he well enough or should I wait for the cough to pass? What do I do? Please help me!

[becj86]

I decided to go to him thinking that it was a much more difficult hour to fall back asleep alone. The moment he saw me he started to cry hysterically and then I had to pick him up. I think he does much better when I am not there... But I don't want him to think I am abandoning him so what do I do? This morning DH said he heard him cry and didn't understand why I didn't go to him... In my DH eyes he was crying but to me it wasn't really a real cry, ykwim?

This bit here is key - if his crying escalates when you go in, its usually because you've interrupted his self-settling attempts. Do you know his mantra cry?

[My little Liam]

Not really...when he was younger I would say yes but he doesn't cry the same way he did when younger. Last night iit was kind of like short sobs then quite for a minute and repeat. When he saw me it was a serious cry like when he hurts himself or something.

[becj86]

Last night iit was kind of like short sobs then quite for a minute and repeat.

This sounds like a mantra cry to me.

[My little Liam]

Ok I will try him to let him resettle at night and see what happens...
I just don't know what to do with everything else at the moment...