6 month twins wont sleep longer than 4 hrs at night

[BareFootMomma]

My girls just turned 6 months and they are still sleeping pretty badly at night. In fact, I think it is getting worse. DH and I usually split the night so that he stays up taking care of them until midnight and I take over after that. They usually go to bed between 7 and 7:30, and for a while were making it until 2 or 3 before waking up to eat. That nw has slowly gotten earlier and earlier until now they are usually up at 11 to eat, sometimes being difficult to put back to sleep after eating. Then they are also up at 2 and 4-5 and wake for the day at 7 (though the past 3 mornings they have been up at 6:30) to start their day. DH is super frustrated, and thinks that they should be sttn all the time by now. Our older daughter was sttn on a constant basis at 2 months old so this is quite the change. Why are they waking so often? That first nw is brutal because they are SO difficult to get back to sleep sometimes being awake for close to 2 hours. Here is an example of their days

Wake - 7:00
S - 9:00 - The length of any of their naps is either 45 minutes or as long as I will let them sleep. The baby who sleeps pretty well during the day is the one who is having the most trouble during the night. She is usually the one who wont go back to sleep for hours.
Wake - 11:00
S - 1:00 - if they take a bad morning nap this is sometimes the only good nap they get all day.
Wake - 3:00
S - 5:00 - They have been really fighting this nap and sometimes they wont go to sleep until they should be getting back up.
Wake - 5:30-6 depending on when they finally give in and go to sleep. This is only ever a 30 min nap.
Bed - 7:30-8

NW - they haven't slept past midnight in over a month

That ^ is our ideal schedule. We have many many days of short naps, broken up by the random day where everything works perfectly and they take amazing naps. I have tried lengthening their A times, and one of them (Baby A) is doing pretty well and is almost able to handle 2 hr 20 min, but will have random days where she can barely make it to 2 hrs. Baby B (the one who sleeps well during the day and has the most trouble at night) can't handle anything longer than 2 hrs. Every time I lengthen it, even by 5 minutes, she wakes at 30 minutes (hyper and squealing) and is impossible to resettle. They aren't having any medical issues, teething isn't really happening yet (that I can tell).

One thing I have wondered is if they are snacking during the day and it's making them not be able to go very long between feedings at night. I feed them basically at the beginning and end of every A time. So, basically every 2 hrs. They wake at 7, eat, play, and then eat again at the beginning of their wind down for naps. Could this be our problem? If I don't do this they wake early from their nap because they are hungry. If it IS the problem, what do I do to fix it and get them to go longer between feeds? They are most BF except for a bottle at night that DH gives them.

I think DH is pretty close to wanting to just let them CIO, so I need to find a solution soon!!

[valeamalia]

Hi Imreally dont know if twins work different, but before you let them CIO, are you doing pick up/put down?

[BareFootMomma]

They are not really great at independent sleep, and we haven't tackled that one yet. When they wake up during the night, or naps, we first try just giving back their pacifier and then if that doesn't work we pick them up and hold/rock/pat until they are fully back to sleep and then put them back in their cribs. I am not sure how to tackle independent sleep because if they are fussing or making noise trying to go to sleep on their own they will wake the other up and then both are awake. I am on my own during the day and for about half the evenings in the week. So, pu/pd isn't super feasible by myself.

Just to be clear, I have no intention of letting DH make them CIO! I will take over his half of the night if I need to so that the babies needs are attended to.

[j.and.e]

Your 'ideal' routine looks a bit more like my ds's 4mo routine. At 6mo my ds was close to 3hr a times. Wu 6am, nap 9ish or just before for 1.5hrs nap 1.30ish for 1.5hrs then bed at 6pm. If naps were earlier or shorter we did a 40min cn at around 5pm but by 7mo he was refusing it. Cud you try a gradual A increase? Xx

[BareFootMomma]

I have been trying to gradually increase, but it only seems to be working with baby A. She is now to the point where she can handle around 2hr 20min except for the random days where she can't even handle 2 hrs. Baby B immediately has a very short nap whenever I try to increase her A time, even by 5 minutes.

[BareFootMomma]

Last night was a disaster! The first part of the night was awesome. They went to bed at 7:30 and slept clear through until 2:00! Baby B woke for a paci re-plug at 11:45, but wasn't even really awake, just making noise as she was searching for her paci. Sadly, things got bad after 2. Baby A woke first, ate, and went right back to sleep and stayed asleep the rest of the night until 7 YAY! Baby B woke at 2:30 and was wide awake. She ate but it took her forever because she was trying to talk and play with me. Then once she was done eating she wouldn't go back to sleep until 4:45! She is ridiculously tired this morning, and already wants to go back to sleep even though she has only been up for 45 minutes. I really NEED to figure out what her problem is before I lose my mind! This was the second night she was up all night.

[Erin M]

Ugh, that really is a rough night. 
I know this has got to be nearly impossible with twins, but is there any sure-fire way of getting Baby B back to sleep after a short nap -- rocking, swing, carrier, etc?  Lots of things about her routine seem to indicate that she needs more A time, but those 30 minute naps are a problem, most definitely.  Is she waking cranky from the 30 minute naps?

Can you try nursing again an hour after you nurse the first time?  That way, it's more of a top up and less of an additional feed -- you would do the top up at the spot where solids will eventually fit in -- in your case at about 8 AM for the first time.  I'd see if that makes a difference as well.

There was a lady on here years and years ago with twins who eventually had to do pu/pd with them as they were waking just so frequently at night it had become an impossible situation -- she had their cribs across from each other and she'd pick one up, lay her back down, pick up the other one, lay her back down, and repeat.  It was a couple of really awful nights but they started sleeping well shortly after that.  Not sure if you've reached that point yet (I can understand that) but if you feel like you're there, just know it has been done before!

[grothues07]

I am a mom to 7mo boy/girl twins and had similar issues with them at night around 6mo, about the time they started rolling from their backs to their stomachs. Let me say that I am NO expert on BW and prior to this got a little lax on my EASY routine, but I have figured out that especially Baby B (my girl) has to have the structure or else she makes both me and Baby A miserable during the day and at night.  Baby A is definitely my Angel and pretty much does anything I ask him to during the day, but was a little more difficult at night. Baby B on the other hand is extremely spirited and still gives me fits trying to go down for naps during the day, but is now sleeping better at night. I have mine in 2 different cribs, but in the same room. I think the hardest thing with twins is managing 2 different personality types and having to deal with one waking the other up, both at night and during naps. Due to the layout of the room, I had to temporarily pull the cribs to where I could stand in between them and easily reach both babies. Although it was a tough few nights, I refused to give them the 2am feeding and used the PU/PD method to get them back to sleep. I had done a DF at 11 and they eat both liquids and solids very well during the day, so I knew they weren't truly hungry. Usually what would happen is baby B would wake up crying, and then baby A would follow suit. As opposed to doing PU/PD with one baby, the PD time for baby A is extended (meaning they have to cry longer) while you PU baby B. While I PU Baby B, I would try to position her so I could at least put a hand on Baby A to let him know I was there and aware that he was in need of my attention as well. One night I had to do this for over 1 1/2 hours. Just as I thought they were both going to sleep, one would cry out and they would both start up again. Due to his work schedule, my husband was only able to help me 1 night/week. I strategically planned my very first night of double PU/PD when he could be there. He took Baby A and I took Baby B so they could at least get the feel for the PU/PD method without the time delay they get when it's just me.
I hope this helps a little. I by no means have it all figured out, but I'm learning to manage 2 at the same time while keeping them on an EASY schedule. It does get better I promise!!

[Erin M]

Wow, I'm impressed!   

[j.and.e]

:-) I wud think that being awake and playfull at nite is a gd sign of a need of more activity during the day. I have one idea, if gradually increasing a time doesnt work what about trying a big jump? You will probably still get a 30min nap but mite be able to extend if B is properly tired? Xx

[BareFootMomma]

Sorry for not replying for a while! Things were getting a little better until tonight. We got two glorious nights of them only waking one time each and going right back to sleep after eating! Then it all fell apart again

I increased B's time to 2:15 and she has been still taking good naps most of the time even though the last 15-20 minutes of her A time she is miserable and crying. I am just giving her a few more days of that A time and then I will up it again to 2.5 hrs so she can be on the same schedule as A. As for night time, they are still up for the first time around 11 and then up again at 2 and 4 and most recently they have started waking up around 6:15. Luckily, with that EW I have been able to feed whoever wakes and she will go back to sleep and then I just let them both sleep in later. But last night B did something she hasn't done in a while, but used to do almost every night.

They went down for bed at 7:30 and she woke at 8, wide awake, crying and fussing if in her bed but perfectly happy and awake when I picked her up to try to put her back to sleep. I fed her and then tried pu/pd, but she stayed awake until finally giving in at 9:45. She used to do this all the time and the length of time she fights sleeping keeps lengthening with her day time A time. Then the rest of the night looked like this:

Bed - 7:30
B up -8:00
B back to sleep - 9:45
A up to eat - 2:00
B up to eat - 2:30 - I always feed her when she wakes because there is no other way to get her back to sleep. If I don't feed her she is up every 10-15 minutes until I do
A up fussing - 3:00 - She was only up twice 10 minutes apart and then went back to sleep for the night
B up to eat - 5:00 - Didn't eat much (obviously, just finished eating 2 hrs before!)
Up for the day 7:15

I am exhausted and so incredibly sick of babies who wont sleep!

[my3girlsjde]

I'm inclined to agree with the A times. I really struggled to increase until one day we were out and I managed to keep the up and we did a cold turkey increase. It was really rough and I.wouldn't recommend it but I do remember how hard it was. My gut here says to increase by 10 mins and if they're really resistant to it increase in the part of the day where you're having the least struggle ie. the morning and leaving the afternoon alone for.a while.

I hear your frustration and I promise it will get better. Many hugs sweetie.

[BareFootMomma]

Ugh. We are having a day where neither girl can seem to handle much A time. They were both melting down and hysterical after only 1.5 hrs this morning. I tried changing what we were doing, holding both on my lap, quiet time in a darkened room, teething medicine, and everything else I could think of other than feeding them again. Finally I put them back to bed at their 2 hr mark. Neither slept well and were both up at 45 min. Their next A time wasn't much better they were crying and miserable through most of it. I kept them up until 2 hr 15 min then put them down for their second nap.....and they were up 30 minutes later. Today is just not our day!

[Erin M]

I'm sorry your day is so rough sweetie, just some big (((hugs))).  Do you think there's some teeth or something going on? 

[BareFootMomma]

Sorry for the lack of response. We are all sick here. I will post again when at least the girls are better so we can get back on track. They have been up every 20-45 min all night for the past 2 nights.