Help me please!!!

[*Jo*]

I've been trying for so long now, I don't know what else to do, this is nearly impossible for me. It's 5.30am and I'm laying in my bed crying because every night I only get about 4 hours sleep and he's been awake since 4am now, he's just not tired... He's not really full on crying so I'm not in there but when he is then I go in and pat.. He just whines through the patting like it's getting in the way of him being awake..
He does 4 x 40 min naps a day and lately had been doing around 10-11 hours at night, more of the 10 hour nights than anything. He's awake anywhere between 5am and 6.30am and I refuse to feed him til 7 which he seems to be fine with. He had been sick lately so I was putting the 10 hour nights (this is with multiple night wakings by the way) down to that but the waking he's doing now has nothing to do with his cough, he's not even coughing, he's not even crying like he's in pain... It's like he's honestly having an A time!! He's awake 2.5 hours after a full nap, or 2 hours after a 40min nap. I can't give you a routine because every single day is so different, no matter how I try to get a routine going his naps are so all over the place it just doesn't happen.
He does have reflux but it is controlled and I don't feel it's playing a part at all in this
His room is dark and he has white noise, he is a tummy sleeper and his wind down is singing a song in the dark while swaying then place into bed and put dummy in or if he doesn't want it I will have to pat him (he's only ever gone to sleep independently 4 times in his entire life) he is exactly 5 months old.

I actually feel like I'm going insane, please somebody help me!

[Ima shel Alon]

Hugs, Jo.

Could you start and log just the first A time for 3 days? From the moment you take him out of bed till he falls asleep for his first nap and how long this nap is. Oh, but please offer the exact same A time for those 3 days so we can see some sort of pattern.

After a short nap when you give him 2h A time, does he ever have a full nap or only 40min? How is waking from those 40min naps?

[*Jo*]

The past three days I've done exactly 2 hours A time for the first A time, I have done for awhile.. I get a waking at 40mins and it's hit or miss as to whether he extends or not, I go in and put the dummy in and he either returns to sleep or doesn't. Yet a few days ago I had to go out in the car and he happily stayed awake for 3 hours, had a 40 min nap but wouldn't go back to sleep. He's mostly happy after those short naps which is why I haven't been too bothered trying to extend them.
It's now 5am the next day and we've had about 8 NWs so far, 2 of them he would not go back to sleep or respond to patting of dummy so I gave bottle, he takes about half a normal feed size and them refuses anymore, I simply cannot get the bottle back in his mouth, he clamps his mouth shut and turns from side to side if I try and put it back in. I had guests so didn't get to go to bed til 1am then he wanted a 2nd feed at 1.30am so I didn't get to sleep til 2am, he woke at 4.30 and I'm patting him right now, if he gets up now I will have only had 2.5 hours sleep. I'm exhausted and have 2 other kids to look after.

I can give you yesterday's EASY which was actually the best day we've had so far!

Awake 6.20am
E 7.15am
A
S 8.20 ( he actually fell asleep on me which is rare but we'd had a rough night) wake at 40 mins put dummy in and he went back to sleep til 10.20!
E 10.40 ( he was really hungry as he'd had a all morning feed)
A
S 12.30 wake at 40mins resettled with dummy (had to go in twice) til 2.20
E 2.40
A
E 5.30
S 6 he wouldn't fall asleep in the car while we were out so I tried to put him down at 5.30 when we got home
 Wake 3x by 10.20 when I gave him a bottle
 Wake 2x by 1.30 when I gave another bottle
 Now 5.15am and not resettling with patting which I've been doing for half an hour...

[*Jo*]

Just to update, I stopped patting and he cried so I picked him up thinking it was l over but he fell asleep straight away on my shoulder! That's not normal for him at that time of morning, so I sat down in the chair with him, put a blanket around us and we both slept like that for another hour.

What's going on with him??
He had a 2.5 hour A time after that (I did put him down at 2 hours but he chatted for a bit and then began crying so I went in and began patting to which he didn't respond to, kept flipping his head from side to side and getting upset, so I put the dummy in and he went off to sleep.. Slept 35 mins, re plugged with dummy and he slept another hour..

[ZacsMumme]

Could he been teething?
Has he started solids? - such frequent NW ie 8 times IMO is always discomfort of some kind

Hugs Jo, you have so much on your plate

[*Jo*]

He is teething two bottom teeth but even with nurofen given he's waking up. He's mostly a happy baby, doesn't need any pain relief during the day, now he's giving me fantastic naps! I just got another 1.5 hour nap out of him with NO waking at 40mins... It's weird!
He does still have a cough and I thought he was wanting a drink to soothe his throat and that was why he's taking small drinks but I just don't know

[ZacsMumme]

How does he settle at BT? Could it be he's waking (possibly due to a little discomfort) but unable to settle without your presence ie you are a bit of a prop? Have you worked out his mantra cry? - I struggled with both my boys to identify it!

[Ima shel Alon]

^^^That's a good point.

It sounds to me like he could be UT. If he is doing only 2h in the morning, sleeps short and wakes up ok then maybe he could use with some more A time. Would you be able to go up from 2h to 2:10-2:15h and see if it helps?
I agree with Sara that such frequent NW are usually discomfort but we had a few times when DS was very UT and we got loads of NW that were almost impossible to settle. And then there was also an EW...

[*Jo*]

Well we had a perfect day today! Even went to sleep at BT without assistance.. Yet here I am at 3am and it's the third nw and he's babbling in his room. He had a full bottle at 11pm so he can't be hungry and I'm not going on there to just whining, but it sounds like it's about to become a real cry...
No I haven't worked out his mantra cry yet, everytime I think he's doing it, it always turns into a real cry and he gets so mad!
Maybe I am a prop, maybe the dummy? But he has a great need to suck so I don't want to take that away if he needs it.
If I am a prop then how do I deal with that because I can't just leave him to cry... I did pu/pd last week at the NWs and they lasted 2 hours each!

[Ima shel Alon]

Hugs, Jo. Like I said, he sounds UT... would you like to try and extend A times?

[*Jo*]

I did that yesterday and that's when I got a perfect nap day... I gave him a bottle at 3am cos he got mad, he drank 2oz and went back to sleep. Now awake at 5.10am and I'm patting.

I still need to give it another day on the new A time of 2 hours 15 min before extending again

[Jodes112]

Hi, hugs hun xx

I just wanted to comment on something i picked out there, you said he would not settle & as soon as you picked him up onto your shoulder he fell asleep. Could this be due to the reflux? (Laying down to upright position) I know you said that you think its under control, but when ds was a baby, on bad nights he would have to sleep really inclined otherwise he was too uncomfortable. Some solid foods made his nights worse than others too.

Just thought i would mention & hope things get a little easier for you x

[Ima shel Alon]

Yeah, sure, give him some time with the new A before extending. I do think there's a good chance that with higher A times he will stop EW.

[ZacsMumme]

Jodes has a good point. T does the shoulder thing now still!
Good luck with the A increase! Hope it helps

[*Jo*]

Thanks Jodes, he's just had an increase in his omeprazole about a month ago so can talk to his dr about that, he already sleeps on an incline and is a tummy sleeper so I'm not sure how much more I can help him with all that, even tho last night was still rough, it was a lot better than the previous nights! I managed to pat him back to sleep by 5.30 and then he woke up at 6am...
I will try the A time increase and look at talking to his dr again tomorrow. He's on 10mg a day (split into 2 doses in the Am and Pm)