The nap is gone...I'm a little lost now!

[ZacsMumme]

Zacs been in the 1-0 for a long time. I had him down to napping 30 mins 2 x a week or so to keep OT at bay. When he does this he sttn that night, but it's short 10.5-11 hrs. After this night he then gets OT by EBT as that night was short. (And it's getting shorter due to it)

So...we're on day 4 of no nap, it's also a daycare day 8.45-2.45 and I feel he is probably going to hit an OT wall soon. He is sometimes nw but these tend to be more due to a bad dream, or wanting a drink of water, too hot etc.

We were doing 11 hr days, but he's stopped doing 13 hr nights. I 'think' he is trying to regulate himself for 11.5-12 hr days and 12 hr nights.

What am I asking? I guess I'm not sure when to pd for the night, if I should offer 1 x 30 min nap a week or cut it CT. Am I looking for NT/ENw and EW for OT. Do I fix his BT?

It's DSL here and hot. This is really not helping as it's only dark 9.30pm-5.30am so he wakes at 6 and it's all over because even with his blackouts he knows the sun is up - I do make him stay in bed, and explain that it's BT when he is tired, not when it's dark, and morning when he's well rested, not when he wakes at silly o clock!

Routine is loosely
WU 6.30 up by 7am
BT 5.45 but now more 6/6.15 and asleep by 6.30
With a nap he takes it at any time of the day for 30 mins and I wake. Then he's up till 8 but chats in bed till 8.30 and up before 7 sometimes. (If I let him nap longer it's terrible!)

[Tweakster]

I do make him stay in bed, and explain that it's BT when he is tired, not when it's dark, and morning when he's well rested, not when he wakes at silly o clock!

Yes we have always had this, luckily.  It's great that they stay there but not helpful because they still don't get the sleep they need.  So it's not really a win/win lol

(((hugs)))

To be honest I found at some point just letting the nap go was the best for us.  It was great on one hand because we had loads of flexibility and weren't prisoners any longer but then it also sucked because it meant long days and being home very early if we were out.  Or it meant him crashing in the car and messing up BT.  It's not fun but it does get better once they get used to it.

My unofficial advice would be to can the nap and work on getting him to regulated.  I think his schedule actually looks ok for his age, 11-12 hrs is pretty decent and you can always throw in a nap when you see he's lost the plot (like if he's had a ton of NW or what not).  I would keep on with 6 bedtime and up by 6:30/7.  If he's waking earlier, I think you'll have to adjust bedtime...usually an 11 hour day is about all they can handle, stretch to 12 at the worst case scenario but slowly work out to that concept...

[TB9]

I would just cut out the nap!  It will get better, but I think that you have to just get rid of the nap before it gets better, yk?  11hr day is best for dd, but if needed she can now do 12hr days.  It is winter here though, so not sure how she will handle it in the summer!

[ZacsMumme]

So last night was ok - it's the longest time he's had no nap and he STTN 12 hrs. 6.20-6.20

Our 2 issues are
- DH comes home at 5.45 it's a terrible time. Z is very unsettled if he doesn't see daddy but getting him into bed when he does can be hard. I have them fed, bathed and in pjs so when he walks in it's 15 mins quiet play then 5-10 of books in bed. Luckily he's on hol next wee starting tues. BUT realistically I don't think 6pm BT is feasible for us long term so I am hoping her regulates and I can push 6.30pm-7/7.30 am am I dreaming?

- it's 28 degrees cel here at BT. Hot! Around 4am the temp drops right back so his room goes down to say 21. I think he is waking a bit cold. Pulling up the covers but then can't go back to sleep. I may have to start covering I'm up in the night like 2am fun times. (At 10-12 it's still boiling!)

I feel like if it was winter he would be fine YK? He's ready...but DLS is screwing us!

[Tweakster]

It's absolutely not sustainable/feasible for a family but they do adapt at this age pretty well so you can push it out and see if you can get to a better middle ground.  Our nap disappeared at age 3 (or slightly before) because he started school and the other kids didn't nap so therefore he did not.  However, as DH and I said to each other, we were sure that those kids who weren't napping were probably sleeping longer than him at night. 

But your guy looks like he's doing really well, not going to plunge too headlong into OT so I think you can manage this just by what you're already doing.

About the hot/cold, no idea as we have central air in summer so our rooms would never get to 28 - eeeeek!

[TB9]

I think it would be feasible to push bedtime to 7pm once he is used to no nap.  Thats where dd1s is right now   Do you have a gro-clock?

[ZacsMumme]

Thanks Wendy, it's so interesting for me watching Zs sleep as he was always high As times/LSN until about 18 mths then he seemed to sleep more than almost everyone else's kid I know. BUT I think with him it was more that he liked to consolidate his sleep iykwim. Which may be why these little CN are messing  up his body clock. He thrives (internally and externally) on routine and predictability. These naps I think may have been starting to interfere with his rhythm

It's the same here at kindy...no naps I don't think I know anymore IRL who's 3 yr old naps lol (accept him)

Thanks tink, I'm thinking get him settled over Xmas then move to 6.30pm-7am (hopefully!) then move again. He is coping well with the change so far but mum had him tonight (eeek) so fx he doesn't super ew. IF he does EW (up at 5 or so) would you keep him up or offer a CN at this stage?

[Tweakster]

If you want to start now I'd keep him up...It's like basically deciding when to rip off the plaster that's hanging...

Good luck!   My kid is actually average to possibly high needs but has led the life of a LSN child since birth lol  Has made (and still does do!) for some interesting times.  I was sad to see the nap go and was looking forward to finally seeing some tacking...which we never got lol

[michaeljacknnugg]

My kid is actually average to possibly high needs but has led the life of a LSN child since birth lol  Has made (and still does do!) for some interesting times.

Totally this for us too, as you know!

Good luck Sara. At some point all naps become evil things that you don't want to touch with a bargepole - and it sounds like you may be nearing that point. Even now, naps=evil for us!

[babybarr]

I agree with Wendy just cut it and keep him up. We had to ditch the nap cold turkey cos it was getting ridiculous the time it took o to settle at night. It was quite funny though cos he did randomly fall asleep on the sofa and one day under the arm chair. This is the child who couldn't sleep anywhere but his bed!

[ZacsMumme]

Good luck Sara. At some point all naps become evil things that you don't want to touch with a bargepole - and it sounds like you may be nearing that point. Even now, naps=evil for us!

Yes I think were there, he is a punish if e has a nap

so he STTN at mums (yay) but only 11.5 hrs (boo) which meant a 5.30 WU Ts a cool morning so mum thinks he was a bit cold, she was a bit cold and when asked he said he was a bit cold.

But ugh, when to do BT then? 5.45 and hope he catches up? Or hold 6pm for now?

Thanks ladies, really appreciate your help x

[Tweakster]

Personally Finn would never go to bed any earlier than 6:30/7 so we never had much choice.  If he's willing to go to bed at 5:30 I'd try it.  If you could get to 5:30 or 6 WU then you might be able to hold him steady for a while...

[ZacsMumme]

Gross...meltdown at bt. Then wouldn't settle. I'm certain he has hit the OT wall... His nana let him nap 10 mins in the car so maybe that was the problem too anyway! not great so I'll cross my fingers for an ok night and see what we we get. (Asleep 6.30pm)

[TB9]

Oh no, dd1 had one of those mini car naps this summer and it really messed up bedtime too!  She was tired obviously, but because she thought she had a nap she fought bedtime

[michaeljacknnugg]

Fx for a good long night - for you all!