Implementing EASY for the first time with 6.5mo

[Sephy]

I've just read the BW solves all your problems and have started trying to get my baby girl on a routine for the first time. I used to breastfeed her to sleep all the tome, and we got into two hourly wake ups and 30-45minute naps.

Before reading the book I spent last night extending her naps basically with wake to sleep anSd only feeding her once or twice at night, and shh patting her for the other wake ups. Yesterday she managed two naps of an hour /1hr15 with no intervention, so I decided the time had come to try EASY and being a bit more strict about things.

I'm trying to use the plan in the book, and so far we had an hour of crying in the cot before I finally patted her to sleep at 650 for ten minutes and took her into her room twenty minutes before her nap time of 9. (Am I right that to start with I should follow the four hour EASY as set out in the book with naps at 9, 1 and optional CN at 5?).

She fell asleep really fast with a bit of shh patting at 8:50, quiet til 9:20 when she cried so I went in and shhd her back to sleep, repeat at 10. At 10:30 I figured she'd had at least 1hr 20 across the 1hr40 she was in her cot, so I got her up when she cried.

Was that right, or should I have persevered til 11? Having got her up, should I feed now or wait til 11? And do I just do the rest of the day by the routine or do I need to adjust it?

Thanks very much for any help. Bit too sleep deprived to easily apply the book!

[Kellyjs]

Hi Sephy, welcome to BW 

Sounds like you're doing great! However, at around 6months it tends to be more EEASY with all the solid foods now.

I think your LO is too old for the 4-hour easy personally. They don't tend to need the CN anymore at around this age.

Some good links to have a read through are Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

And Sample EASY routines, 6-12 months

You'll need to try and establish you LO's awake time to figure out your routine effectively. Average awake times are around 2.75-3hrs.

It might be an idea to post your routine so one of the moderators can take a look?

It should look like this:
Wake up @ 6.30 or whatever time she wakes up
E bf
E breakfast @ 8
A
S @ 9
Etc etc

Xx

[Sephy]

Thanks very much Kelly. Oops, I think I thought everyone just had to get onto that 4 hr routine after 4 months, which when I think about it doesn't make much sense!
Ah well, given that before this we were on 1.5-2.5 hr awake time, at least 4 hour hasn't been a massive change.

Before trying to do the 4 hr EASY, we were wakig up at varied times from 5-30 to 7-30 and then fed, awake 1.5hrs then fed to sleep, and fed to sleep 2hrs after each (short) nap.

Today we:
Woke up at 5:50, shh patted til 6:50
S 6:50-7
E bf at  7
E small amount of solids at 8
A
S 8:50 - 9:20
S 9:30 - 10:00
S 10:05 - 10:30
E bf at 11 (is this right to wait to feed time or should I bf on waking?)
A
E small amount solids at 12
A
s 12:50 - 14:20
A
E bf at 15:00 (baby veery unhappy from 14:35 wanting food, should I have fed her earlier?)
A
E solids at 16:00
A
S CN 17:25 - I will wake her at 18:00 if she doesn't wake.

Then I plan to get her to bed by 7.

I'd be really grateful for any help - I'm finding it tough to let her cry (with shh patting) rather than feeding her to sleep and I think I need to take any thinking out of the equation and just follow a plan. Otherwise I'm worried I'll end up giving up.

I definitely think that pre-BW her A times have been too short and it will be good to increase them. I'm worried about making her wait any longer between bfs though because she has never been a great feeder and she's not really taking much solids yet either. I was really upset to make her wait almost half an hour for a bf this afternoon and I don't want to do that any more often.

[Kellyjs]

I do love a plan!

Don't worry, you're doing just fine.. It's really difficult to interpret things sometimes especially when you're sleep deprived and trying to tackle so many things at once! That's what this site is for... It's amazing!

Anyhoo, let's get started on what I think. I'm sure a moderator will be along soon to help too, but here's my two-pence worth 

You need to get rid of that cat nap soon. Trust me... I kept it too long and it results in NW (night wakings) and suchlike. Once you start to increase her A's it'll naturally drop off the end soon anyway.

Short naps of 40/45mins been she's UT (under tired), so I'd work on that first A first. You will need to increase the A time slowly.. Too much too quick results in a OT (overtired) little bubba.. bTDT! Try and stick to a 12-hour day in total. Sometimes we lose sight of that when we're concentrating on each A.

Now some lO's like a short A for their first one and some prefer it to be the longest (mine is the latter). Do you know which one yours is? Either way, I'd add another. 15mins to that first A in the am. You might still get an UT nap, but hold it for a couple of days then increase by another 15mins. It's normally hard those last 15mins as they may give you sleepy cues as they're used to going down at that time. Just do something low-key. I usually carry DD around for those 15 mins and point out things in the house.

Wrt breast feeding. I'm not an expert as I quit at 3months but I do know breast feeding on demand to a degree is fine. You just don't want to fall back into feeding her to sleep. I would feed her on wake up from her nap, you don't have to wait until a specific time. That's the best thing about BW. It's so adaptable. For example my DD has 2 bottles and a solid meal in her first A.. It really doesn't matter as I make sure she has at least 15mins A before I put her to sleep.

I'm sure a moderator will be along soon with more and probably better advice! Xx

[Sephy]

Thanks Kelly I really appreciate you taking the time to answer. I should be able to drop the nap - today we were in the car so no way of avoiding it really, but have no plans like that for the next few days.

I'm now wondering if I have also misinterpreted Tacy's advice about nap length when introducing EASY - is it OK to have naps of 1hr20 on day 2 like I did today or should it definitely be above 1hr30 for a baby as old as 6mnths? Is there a total nap time sleep requirement?

[Kellyjs]

Hi hun. I really wouldn't worry about that cat nap now, it'll naturally drop off the end once you increase your LO's A times. Keep it for now. Just start on that first A only to start with.

1hr 20 nap is brilliant! A baby's sleep cycle is 45mins so it means she has transitioned from one sleep cycle to the next very well without your intervention.

There are average sleep requirements but it does depend whether your LO is low sleep needs (LSN) or high (HSN) or just plain average. It does seem your LO is doing well on total sleep so don't worry too much. Here is the link for that Typical Amounts of Day and Night Sleep

Xx

[Sephy]

Thanks for that link, I'll keep referring to it.

Right, as the 4 hour plan is already a jump in A time at first wake up I'll stick to that for now, and work on stretching out the second nap by 15mins first.

I'm very excited to report that last night, despite a lot of resettling between 1 and 3 (eventually bf'd as soon as she woke at 4 as I couldn't face another couple of hours wondering if she was hungry) she stirred briefly at 6:40 but was easily resettled and had to be woken at 7. She already seems much happier than yesterday when she screamed for an hour between 5:50 and 6:50.

And her first nap has gone really well - 1 hour 20 and counting!

I really appreciate the support Kelly, especially as I have spent a lot of time reading attachment parenting stuff which seems to imply letting your baby cry at all is really wrong. I keep reminding myself that she knows I'm there for her rubbing her back or whatever, but during the 45 minute of screaming at bedtime it was hard to be reassured. Still, day 2.5 now and giving up would be a waste of all the crying she's already done :-)

[Kellyjs]

Yay! So glad to hear last night went well. Some lO's still need a night feed or two up to 12mo.

All babies cry hun, the best thing you can do is just be there to support her. You're doing everything right. Once the A times are correct, she'll go down easily and fall to sleep.

Just keep a log of your LO's easy for the next few days. You'll be able to see a pattern between the A time and longer naps. If the short 40mins nap comes back, just lengthen the A by 15 mins before it the next day. It does take a Bit of tweaking to get it right. There's a lot of developmental and teething things that happen around this age so don't be surprised once you do lengthen the A's, she'll need another jump a couple of weeks later! They like to keep us on our toes these bubbas.

Keep me updated! Good luck xx

[Sephy]

Well this afternoon wasn't too great because I tried to sick too rigidly to the 4 hour routine - an obvious mistake! To remind me for the future, today went:

Shh pat at 6:40,
S 650-7
E bf 7
A
E solids 8
A
S 9 - 10:50 (with no resettling needed! Hurrah!)
E 11 bf
A
E 1230 solids
A
S 1.15 (stupidly trying to get close to the 1pm in the 4hr routine)
Two or three resettles needed to keep her sleeping past the 40minute mark - eventually up at 2:40
E 3 bf
A
E 4:15 solids
A
Very sleepy at 5, tried for a catnap at 5:10 but she didn't settle quickly so I abandoned it to avoid a really late bedtime.
E bf 5:30
A bath
S 6:30 - 7:15
Quickly resettled 7:15 and now still asleep at 8:40.

If the previous nights are anything to go by she'll probably wake before I get to DF (eg she might wake 9:40 or 10:30) should I settle her back which probably means a DF will wake her in another half hour or so, or should I just feed her then? Or try and get in there early to DF before any wake up?

Thanks again for your encouragement.

[Kellyjs]

Hi hun, sorry for the late reply... How did the DF go?

Great am nap, well done! The afternoon doesn't look too bad at all really. 

 I would extend your second A by 15mins today and see if that helps with the nap. It looks like your LO likes a short first A, but can go longer for the second after that decent nap. So if she wakes at 10.50am again for her first nap, I wouldn't put her down again until 1.30pm which would give you 2hrs 40mins A which is quite reasonable for her age.

It gets really difficult to fit in that cat nap as I mentioned before. Just don't be afraid of an EBT. I've had my DD down some nights at 5.45pm! The key is for them not to get OT before bed. If the cat nap gets refused again, I would aim to get her in bed no later than 6. Don't worry, more often than not, they tack on the extra sleep and wake up usual time.

Wrt to the dream feed... I was always quite militant about the timing, but DD was bottle fed. She did wake up for it more often than not but as there was minimal interaction, she knew she was only up for a feed and used to go straight back to sleep again. I think use your judgement if she wakes earlier? Does she sound hungry? If so, feed her, if not, I'd wait until the right time and resettle any WU's beforehand.

All in all, I think you're doing brilliantly! Your LO has obviously responded well to her new routine. Think there will be some minor tweaks needed and you're heading for the 3-2 nap transition which can be a little tricksy. Have a read of this link to prepare you for it. All about the 3-2 transition- 5/6 months

Xx

[Sephy]

My DH came up at 1020 (so I'd already had about an hour or so of sleep!) so I went to DF her then. She did wake up, but fed back to sleep and was easily resettled with a couple of shh pats.

I think I'll hope to do the same again tonight - the problem is I think that DH coming up to bed sometimes wakes her creaking on the floorboards so then she's awake anyway.

She woke at 2 and 5:30 last night. At 2 she settled again within half an hour but then cried again ten minutes after I'd left her - when I went in she had a dirty nappy so that took a little while to sort! And at 5:30 she really wanted to get up, as SE could see a lot of light coming round the cracks of her door. But there's annoyingly nothing I can do about that as there's a big skylight in the hall and no way of covering it. She eventually slept again at 6:20, then stayed asleep til 7, with a little bit of encouragement.

So that's the first time I haven't fed her between 11 and 7, and I don't think she was particularly hungry even on waking, she didn't have a very enthusiastic feed. I'll try again to wash down her solids at 8 I think.

I am a bit concerned that she's getting reliant on shh patting or at least pressure on her arm from me, but when she cries so much at sleep time I don't want to stand over her doing nothing to calm her - and as soon as I stop shh patting she seems to cry again. I really haven't identified her mantra cry though, but she just sounds annoyed when I stop, with a noise coming from the back of her throat.

Thnks again Kelly for your help and support, I'll give the 1.30 naptime a go this afternoon and see how it goes.

The health visitor is coming at 9:15 so I just hope I can get her down before that...

[Kellyjs]

Don't worry too much about the ssh/pat yet hun. You'll need it for a while to get her settled on the new routine. You can do gradual withdrawal later on.. One thing at a time eh?! 

I've got the same thing here about the creaking floorboards. Good thing is, they're usually still tired enough to resettle back to sleep. Bit different when DH has to go into work early and she's convinced it's time to get up between 5.30-6! Think that also applies to your light around the door and waking up and seeing it's light so obviously time to get up! At least she went back to sleep.

Just make sure your A time between wu from 1st nap to put down for the second is 2hrs 40mins if she had a good nap this morning. You don't necessarily need to work by the 1.30pm time ok?

Let me know how it goes xx

[Sephy]

Hmm whoops I think I should have checked your post before putting her down rather than waiting for the peace afterwards!

She woke up twenty five minutes into her nap (at least the health visitor had been and gone!)  so I went in to resettle her. Too scared of creaking waking her all over again so I fell asleep on her floor (I've set up a single bed in there with a double duvet so I was pretty comfortable).

Then we both slept til I woke and woke her up at 11:15, so she probably had about 2 hours plus all in.

So we were a bit behind "schedule" (ha, the book even says never to use that word) for her 11am feed. I think it's the feeding that's making me a bit nervous, even though she obviously won't starve, just want to make sure my supply is enough etc.

So then she got really grumpy and tired at about 120, but I strung it out for a little so she went down at 1:45 - only 2.5 hours.

But on the positive side, she was so tired she closed her eyes straight away when I put her down. I crept out, opened the door to leave, she opened her eyes, beamed at me, then closed them again and I haven't heard a peep since leaving! So although I do want to extend that A time a bit, maybe it was the right time for her today.

Thanks for still checking in with me Kelly, I'm using this as my virtual log too xx

[Sephy]

Just to update before I forget... She slept until 2:50, so just an hour and ten minutes. As she'd had such a long morning nap I didn't bother trying to extend.

Then she had a 5-10minute shut eye in the sling at 5:30, but went down within ten minutes at bedtime and was asleep by 6:45.

That sort of sounded like following the advice in the 3-2nap link you shared Kelly.

Let's hope tonight goes OK. Just now was the first bedtime I've fed her before bath rather than after and she's gone down OK. Just hope we get a good DF or I'm going to feel mean not feeding her in the night. But after last night with no night feeds was successful I don't really want to go backwards.

As her solids intake is definitely increasing its so hard to know if she's still drinking enigh... Think I'll go lurk on the bf board too.

[Sephy]

Feels like last night was a regression.

After a successful Df at 1020 she woke at 12 something, 2 something, 3 something, 4 something, 5 something and 620.

Shhing and Patting just now calmed her, but she's wide awake

And now moaning and crying a bit...

Twenty more minutes of night time left...