Is there anything else I can do to get my 14 month old to eat?

[c0c0mon]

My LO started solid when he was 5-6 months old. He was not too thrilled to eat but I kept encouraging him to eat and he got better by 7/8 months. He was eating pureed food and he refused to chew. He didn't get his first tooth till he was 10 month old. Once he turned 1 year old, he had gotten hard to be spoon fed. So I resorted to 'distractions' such as videos, books, toys in order to get the spoon anywhere near his mouth.

About 2 weeks ago, it was almost impossible to feed him regardless of the distractions. It took me more than 1.5 hour to feed him a meal. I started to let him feed himself with finger foods. But he would take a bite then keep it in his cheek and he would either swallow it (without chewing) or spit it out. We eat in front of him all the time. I demonstrated chewing motion when he had food in his mouth. And he got slightly better, but not by much.

For the past 7 days, he hasn't eaten anything more than 5 bites. Below is his feeding schedule:
7:30AM - Milk 8oz
8:30AM - Breakfast (pancakes/french toast and bananas) ±40 mins
10:15 AM - Snack (cereal and fruits) ±30 mins
12:00PM - Lunch (he wouldn't eat anything else other than avocados) ±40 mins
1:00PM - Milk 6oz
3:30PM - Snack (cheese and/or fruits) ±30 mins
6:00PM - Dinner (pasta and ground meat and avocado and fruits) ±45 mins unless he starts to throw food and crying
7:30PM - Milk 4oz

I called the doctor and they told me that it had not gone long enough and it didn't seem like he had an oral aversion. He just has little to no interest of eating. I am feeling so helpless and I notice such a big difference in his personality as well. He used to be a very happy baby. Even strangers noticed that. But now, he's just miserable. He cries and fusses for no reasons. Additionally, he's losing weight. For the past week alone, I think he almost lost 1lb.

When I used to feed him, he would eat alot more and more of a balanced meal.

Is this normal? Why am I feeling so defeated and anxious and worried and frustrated all at the same time? What can I do to help him?

Thank you so much for your time and help.

[<Catherine>]

I don't have a massive amount of advice, my first son was similar and nothing I did made any difference, he just wasnt a big eater and still isn't at 5yo. He was eating a bit better than your lo though.

My second son is nearly 15 months and totally the opposite - he doesn't stop eating. But, hes refusing the spoon a lot and has been for the last couple of months. I think it's quite a normal phase and I am just mostly making finger food for him.

I do wonder if your lo may be having too much milk? I don't think he needs that middle milk feed now and it may be filling him up too much to be too interested in the solids.

[c0c0mon]

Catherine,

Thank you for your response.

The doctor told us that he should have at least 18oz of milk a day. Since he's not having yogurt at all because he has to be fed or he has to feed himself (which is not going to happen). Same thing with cheese, he would just eat couple bites here and there.

I know for sure that he's hungry because I can hear that his tummy growls. For lunch and dinner, I offer his milk after solids and he drinks it up as if he has had nothing to eat all day.

He used to be a great eater when I pureed his food. Now that he has to chew, he is just not interested.

[Lolly]

The doctor told us that he should have at least 18oz of milk a day. Since he's not having yogurt at all because he has to be fed or he has to feed himself (which is not going to happen). Same thing with cheese, he would just eat couple bites here and there.

There is a big experimentation part to learning to eat and they do need the chance to play with it and get messy - is that what puts you off letting him feed himself yoghurt or do you feel he won't be able to? Have you tried pre-loading spoons and letting him have the spoon - we did that a lot when mine went through spoon refusing? We also were using children's forks at this age, they were easier to keep the food on, I put the food on the fork and they fed themselves.

If you have only recently started giving him finger foods then it will take him a while to get used to chewing and manipulating food. Both of mine had finger foods from 6 months so they had had 8 months worth of practice by the time they were your LO's age!

I agree with the milk though, if he knows he is getting milk after his food he could be holding out for the easier option. You could make his bedtime milk drink bigger and drop the middle of the day bottle, if he has some cheese and yoghurt or milk in foods then he will get what he needs.

It may be that the snacks are filling him up so he's not really hungry for food by meal times too, their tummies are still small so it's worth looking at snack size and maybe cut them down so he is hungrier at meal times. Neither of my two ate a proper meal, especially at the end of the day if they snacked so I didn't give an afternoon snack but gave their evening meal earlier (about 4.30/5) and then bedtime milk was 7/7.30.

What do you think?

Laura

[c0c0mon]

Laura,

Thank you for your response and suggestions.

It's not that I don't want him to feed himself or let him get messy. Even with simple finger food, he gets himself pretty messy. I tried letting him have a spork (spoon and fork in one) several time and he used that as something to mash his food on his tray rather than as a utensil. I stopped giving it to him because it distracted him from eating his food.

I understand that he will take him to learn to get used to chewing and manipulating food. But I'm concern about his nutrition intake in time being, while he's learning. My concern is also the fact that he has no interest in chewing food or food in general. It's one thing if he's hungry then he shows interest in food and gets frustrated because he is not able to chew or process it. He looks at food as toys that he throws on the floor.

I will try your suggestion for the next couple of days. I will skip his PM snack with a hope that he'll eat his dinner better.

Thank you SO SO much for your help!!!

[Lolly]

It's also worth looking at what he's had over an entire day rather than individual meals, they actually need less food than we think for them to get what they need. A portion of fruit/ veg for you, for example is about what can fit in your hand - think how small his hand is!

Let us know how you get on. Try not to stress though, toddlers really won't starve themselves!

Laura

[c0c0mon]

Laura,

I wouldn't be so worried if he eats better at least one meal a day. I don't think I gave him a big portion.

Below is a summary of today alone:
7:30AM - Milk 8oz
9:00AM - Breakfast: 2 bites of pancakes + 1 bite of banana
10:00AM - Tried offering breakfast again: 5 bites of pancakes
11:30AM - Snack: 10 pieces of dry cereal
12:30PM - Lunch: 10 bites of cubed avocado
1:30PM - Milk: 6oz
6:00PM - Dinner: 2 bites of pasta

If that's what/how much a toddler typically eat, then I think I'm stressing out for no reason. I tried to skip PM snack but he still wouldn't eat his dinner. I offered penne pasta with ricotta cheese, baked salmon, cubed avocado, and cubed plum. And I put 2/3 pieces on his tray and left the fruit to the end. He picked up the salmon without even trying to put it in his mouth and threw it on the floor. Then, he picked up his avocado and smashed it in his palm and smeared it all over himself. This happened after his 2 bites of pasta and he wouldn't put anything in his mouth anymore. After 20 minutes, he got frustrated and I took him out of his highchair and ended his dinner.

How long does this typically last? Days? Weeks? Months? And at what point should I be concerned that he's not getting the proper nutrition?

Thanks a million!!!!

[ZacsMumme]

At this age we had to drop the morning bottle/Bf and gave one before the nap, then one at BT otherwise my boys just filled up on milk.

After 12 mths I Thought they needed much less milk lots of LOs drop their bottles completely and just have a few cups in sippers/straw cups a day with a bit of cheese off yogurt.

[lilac83]

Hi,

I just went through something similar with my younger dd who is about the same age as your ds. She was getting 18-20 oz of milk per day and it was filling her up. I dropped her down to 16 oz and she is eating so much better now whereas before she would only take a few bites here and there as well but then complain that she was hungry an hour later. The other part of the problem I believe were teeth. I just noticed today that one of her molars has started bulging and teething will definitely put kids off their food. My dd now gets an 8 oz sippy cup to drink throughout the day (she normally finishes it at lunch) and an 8 oz bottle before bed, otherwise she gets water.

[c0c0mon]

Sara & Robin,

It's definitely worth a shot. I will try to give him his solids first in the AM and maybe a little bit of milk afterwards and increase his afternoon and before BT milk. I'll report back tomorrow.

I don't think it's teething but it could be. He's not a fussy baby during teething so far, so it's hard to tell.

Thank you so much. I really really appreciate all of your inputs. 

[ZacsMumme]

Good luck hon. I think from ~9 mths here and maybe closer to 1 yr in the uk the recs do change to milk after food, and for my boys I certainly noticed too much milk = not much food x

[c0c0mon]

Update - I eliminated my ds' AM milk all together. He woke up then he played with his toys a little bit then I gave him his breakfast. I gave him zucchini & banana bread. He ate approx. 8 bites and no longer interested after that. I would say it's better than the 2 bites he had before but I wouldn't consider it good 

About 2 hours later, I gave him another chance on the bread and I gave him 2 strawberries. He finished the strawberries but not a bite of the bread.

I put his milk in his sippy cup and he didn't drink much of it.

For lunch, he ate about 10 bites of avocado. I always changed his nappy for his nap and it was always substantial (after 3-4 hours); but not today. He barely peed. So I gave him 8oz of milk before his nap.

After his nap, he had approx 9 bites of cheese and 2 strawberries as his PM snack.

Hopefully he'll eat his dinner well... I can only pray and hope.

[lilac83]

I've noticed my dd's diapers aren't as full without all the milk too. Do you offer water throughout the day? I offer water with snacks, lunch, dinner and at random times throughout the day, like when she follows me into the kitchen. She never drinks much in one go but will usually polish off about 10 oz over the course of a day.

Hopefully you'll notice him eating more tomorrow. It took my dd a few days to start increasing her appetite without the milk. I remember being really worried that she was going to starve but of course she didn't. She still has meals where she eats next to nothing though and breakfast is still not a big meal for her. My older dd isn't very hungry at breakfast either most days.

[c0c0mon]

Robin -

Thank you for your continuous support.

I'm seriously losing it! It just breaks my heart to see him not eating.

No AM milk again today and he ate 4 bites of the french toast I gave him for breakfast. Then I put it away but offered it again after 2 hours. He took 2 bites and started throwing them on the floor. For lunch, I offered him cubed avocados and steam carrots. He put about 4-5 bites in his mouth and spat them right out. After that, he just grabbed whatever I put on his tray and threw them on the floor. I felt bad, so I offered him a pouch food. But he wouldn't take it and since I was not supposed to force him, after 3 tries, I ended his lunch. So, he didn't eat anything.

Typically, he drinks about 8oz of water in a day.

How are other moms doing this? I guess I need to be stronger and shouldn't feel bad for him. He hasn't been really eating for the past 9 days. How is this sustainable?

[Lolly]

If you are worried then you need to take him to see the Dr for a check up. Have you tried giving meds before a meal to see if that helps incase it is teeth bothering him?

Does he try and take food off your plate at all if you sit with your food at the table with him?

Laura