Please help, short naps, won't nap alone :(

[Elvisking]

Hi,

LO is 16 weeks. He has had a tough time with silent reflux and a milk allergy, this is now sorted & we are trying to get some sort of structure into our day time.
      Our problem is that he will not nap independently for longer than 20 mins unless he is on someone. If we go for a walk, or go in the car he will sleep for two hours- sometimes more!!! He goes down at 9/10pm & goes to sleep independently until 7:30/8 am no bother!!!!!
       I have tried the Moses basket & his cot. I have sat & tried to stop the 20 minute jolt- which we do successfully. I wait another 10 mins then leave the room. Guaranteed as soon as I leave the room..... He's awake!!!!!!! We aren't really on an Easy plan yet, but we roughly follow the 2 hour awake time.  so , I guess I'm asking do I establish an easy day or naps first??
       I have a very noisy 3 year old, which makes it hard for me to do anything with LO, as she needs to be looked after too. I have 3 days without toddler next week to try & sort this sleep out.

Do any have any suggestions as to what I do? It is driving me mad as he is clearly tired & I cannot do anything- it's as if he senses me leaving the room:(

 By the way- I know I am lucky that he sleeps all night!! Any help would really be useful!
Thank you xxx

[Elvisking]

Bump! Please help!!

[newkidontheblock]

Could you post your daily routine. It's alright if it's a bit here and there. Just need to get an idea of how your day goes. Also, how do you spend the A time? If you read through the FAQs, there is a lovely post about short naps and overstimulation and also one explaining how sleep cycles work- mainly, how babies cycle through light and deep sleep virtually every ten minutes. I can't post them right now as I'm on my phone but you could have a look

[Elvisking]

Thank you for replying

Basically this has been today so far

Awake at 7:45am
E-8:30
A- in bouncer whilst I made breakfast, then nappy change & play on nanna's knee.
S-9:30- on me, took him 10 mins to go over, then into cot.
A- 10:10- on my knee, then in bouncer & on nanna's knee.
E-11:00
A- played on floor
S-12-1:45 in Moses basket ( woke a couple of times- shhh'd to sleep)
E- 2pm
A- on floor baby gym/tummy time. & in baby seat
S-3:40 asleep on my knee & moved to Moses basket

He is still asleep now. He will feed again around 5pm & then 8pm & sleep through until the morning.

I told you- I am all over the place this is the same every day give or take 30/40 mins. I would just like him to sleep upstairs so that he gets peace. Today has been a VERY good day for sleep- usually it's 20-40 mins here & there. I will post again in 2/3 days, I'll keep note of the next few days.
What do you think so far?
Thank you!!

[newkidontheblock]

A bit confused about the A time you are doing. 1.45 first nap but then 2 hours after a 30 min nap? If that's the case, and you are getting a long pm nap which is easy to resettle, then maybe an increase in A times is in order. Could you do 2 hours for the morning nap too and see if it makes a difference? Just add ten minutes and stick to that time for a few days. Before the nap, keep things low key- walk around, humming, singing etc to prevent over tiredness. It will take a few days to adjust to the new A and then we'll know if it is the right time for him. If the nap lengthens, then you can stick to that A for the pm

Besides that, one thing they would definitely help is a good nap wind down routine. Have you tried the 4 s? What do you follow before a nap?

[Elvisking]

The A time was long in the morning as he didn't nap long enough- as I said- I'm all over the place !!! 😪 so, try & keep him awake for 2 hours every A time & see?
  We go upstairs to a dimly lit bedroom, I put him into his sleeping bag, we sit beside the cot & cuddle, sshhh & put him into his bed?

Thanks for help, even though I did this with my other LO I feel like a complete newbie & completely useless!!!

[newkidontheblock]

Breathe. You are doing your best. Nothing about this is easy. I would say stretching to. 2 hours sounds like a good first step. After a short nap, reduce the next time by 10-15 minutes.

Have you tried holding till drowsy, then putting down and leaving the room? That's what we used to do. Basically with the 4 s routine, you make the room nice and dark, swale/ sleep sack, hold for a while till drowsy- if he cries or protests, then pat/she, otherwise PD once drowsy and give them space to fall asleep on their own. Only if they cry for help, then pat/shh etc

[Elvisking]

Ok, brill, this morning went well, but he's now asleep in the pram after a walk- I'm going to have to wake him to feed. Thanks- will post later xxxx

[Elvisking]

Ok, right, seems to be going ok- A time is lengthened & naps are going well, however I am shhh patting him in my arms & putting in to the cot asleep😁. I know, one step at a time....!
   How do I now go from this to putting him down awake?  Just attempt it & shah pat in the cot??

[newkidontheblock]

Do you have to shh/pat? I used to shush/pat till drowsy and then PD and leave the room. You need to give him space to settle

[Elvisking]

Hey new kid,

Right, update.... He has been doing really well. We've broken the 20 min jolt, and he sometimes needs a ssh/pat at 45 mins, but is generally napping for 1hour 30. We are still having to hold him & soothe him before putting him down- he does cry & get agitated before sleep, if we try & put him down semi awake- he wakes the second he touches the mattress
    I know it's one step at a time, but have you any ideas? Do you think we just persevere & ease off on the shh/pat gradually?

He fell asleep on school run today 10 mins before sleep was due & I managed to rake him out of his sleep suit & car seat & transfer him into sleep bag & cot no problem, so I know he can do it!! He also does it every night!!!!

[newkidontheblock]

So happy for you! Good job! If he is waking the moment you put him down, then maybe you are holding for too long? Have you tried doing your wind down and putting down and leaving the room? Otherwise, reducing the input - so now you are shush/patting...what if that changes to just putting a hand on him and saying a sleepy phrase, then reducing it to sitting by him and saying that phrase..slowly moving away..and then just not doing it at all. Just throwing out ideas here:)

[Elvisking]

I'll sure try them- thanks! Really struggled yesterday & today with the 45 min wake up I have tried shh/pat but it's not working. I have lifted him & shh/pat - and he will go back. Is there any other way with the dreaded 45min 😢😢😢😢😢

[newkidontheblock]

You could try these ---> How do I address habitual wakings? (wake-to-sleep and other methods)

[Elvisking]

Brill, thank you, you are so good, really appreciate it. I suppose I'm expecting things to work instantly!!! Have to slooooow down!!!!! Xx