2.5 year old playing at naptime

[bloosiern]

Had a thread a few weeks ago about my 2.5yo YDD but can't find it now plus there's something new I'm specifically frustrated about.  For the last 2 weeks or so she is playing in her toddler bed and/or talking to herself forever and not falling asleep at naptime for me...only me.  My mom, MIL and husband lay her down and she falls quickly to sleep and takes really long naps, sometimes 2.5-3 hours and that's with them waking her.  I've tried going in and telling her to lay back down or telling her to lay down via the monitor without going in.  The only thing that works is me eventually lying on the floor next to her bed until she falls asleep which, when I do that, results in her falling asleep almost instantly.  She's never done this before so I'm not sure why it's happening and, more importantly, why she's only doing it with me.

[jessmum46]

Developmental?  Half birthdays are notorious for that.....could also be UT though if she takes some big naps some days (2.5-3h strikes me as a lot for her age).  How often do others put her down vs you?  Just wondering if there's a pattern eg you have her every other day or every 3 days for example. How are nights?  WU and BT?

[bloosiern]

I was thinking possibly developmental but would that cause her to just do that with me?

I work 2 days per week (11am-1130pm) and she is at my house with my mom once a week and at my MIL's house twice a month.  When I work a weekend day, which is 3 times a month, she is at home with my husband.

Her WU tends to be 630, occasionally a bit earlier/later.  Nap is usually 1230/1 for varying lengths of time.  BT is 730/8, usually 4-5 hours after WU from nap.  My mom is really good about keeping to consistent nap times but my husband and MIL have a tendency towards keeping her up until 130 and letting her sleep until 430/5 sometimes, a practice I don't encourage at all.  However, that is usually only once a week.

I also thought of the possibility of UT but the fact that she falls asleep so quickly if I lay in her room makes me think otherwise.

She has always been ASN if that helps.

[jessmum46]

If she sleeps easily with you there and still takes a long nap, my bet would be developmental/separation anxiety, often LOs become more clingy (especially with Mummy) when headed towards leaps in their development.  How have the last few days been?

[bloosiern]

Hopefully just developmental then.

I worked on Saturday and Sunday so my husband was with her those days.  She must have played a bit before falling asleep for her nap on Saturday because he sent me a picture of the video monitor screen which showed her asleep with pants and diaper off:)...first time she's done that.  He made sure to check on her intermittently once he laid her down on Sunday and she did the same thing again but fell asleep once he put them back on and told her it was not time to play and that she needed to take a nap.

Yeaterday and today she fell asleep within 5-10 minutes with my lying next to her bed.

I almost wonder if she actually ends up a bit OT after being with my husband and MIL.  Even though she takes a good nap, it usually starts too late and ends too late making BT too late but then she's still up at her usual time making her night short.  Late BT's (after 7/730) have never agreed with her.

[jessmum46]

Could well be if they keep her up later than you do.....

[bloosiern]

Thanks Katherine!

I think we've reached that stage with her where too long or too late of a nap affects her BT.  I'm thinking to preserve night sleep and an age-appropriate BT we need to make sure she's awake by 3pm and not let her nap longer than 2 hours.  She is not a happy person when she's woken up so we'll have to be sure a snack and/or show is ready to go once we do it:).  Hopefully once we all get on the same page to do that consistently she will just start regulating on her own.  That said, summer is a difficult time as there are many things that can throw off a schedule but we generally try not to let the schedule go awry unless we're on vacation.

[jessmum46]

Even 2 hours is quite a bit at this age, most would be having a shorter nap (we were on no naps!) or a very long day with that sort of nap length.  I agree consistency is key with toddlers though x

[bloosiern]

Well it seems as though we hit a downward spiral into an UT/OT loop.

My husband had E on Thurs and Fri (he was off work for our holiday).  On Thurs, he let her nap until 430 and that night she didn't fall asleep until 10.  I talked to him about not letting her sleep so late but he still let her nap 130-4 on Fri and he said she didn't fall asleep until after 10.  She had 2 NW those nights, which is abnormal for her, than was up at her usual time 6/630.  Sat was messed up because of a gathering at my in-laws.  She only napped for 45min before we left, was acting tired the whole time we were there, then didn't get her to bed until 8.  She was crying almost immediately after PD (unusual for her) then I rocked her to sleep by 830.

On Sun, I'm not sure when she woke but she napped 1-315.  We PD at 715 because we thought she was OT but she didn't fall asleep until 915.  She had 2 NW, one which was early.

I mentioned before that BT's later than 7/730 just don't work for her so I'm thinking she needs to be up no later than 2/230 to make that happen.  The only problem is now she is OT and so unsettled at night.

[jessmum46]

I think you are going to have to cut her nap a bit shorter, or make it earlier.  I suspect on Sunday after a good nap she was UT when you put her down for bed but ended up OT by the time she settled.  I agree I'd have her up by around 2.30ish for a 7.30pm bedtime if she is still having 2h (I would suggest this should be an absolute maximum nap length for her), you could allow nap to go a bit later if it is shorter (for some time 1.30/2-3 with a 7pm BT worked for us) and you may find that works better.  I do think such late long naps are causing the problems though, you would be better to keep to a shorter nap even if overtired and go for early bedtime instead.  You want her to catch up with night sleep, not nap time x

[bloosiern]

I agree, night sleep is the most important.  I read somewhere once that every hour of sleep before midnight is twice as beneficial as any hour past midnight, which is probably why EBT usually works out so well.

Last night she was asleep by 8, made some noise a little after 5 and finally woke at 620.  She was asleep for her nap by 1220 so I guess I'll wait and see what she does for her nap today.  She doesn't usually sleep that long for me no matter how early/late I lay her down which is so frustrating:)  I usually aim to have her asleep for her nap 6h after WU.

Based on her being ASN, it looks like she needs about 12.5-12.75 hours per day so maybe I can aim for:

WU: 630 (hopefully)
Nap:  1245/1 - 215/230 (1.5-1.75hrs)
BT:  7 (to be asleep by 730)

Hugs to you for the sleep issues you're having with your little guy.  You're definitely a fountain of knowledge and so kind to the rest of us (even during your rough times!) so hopefully things come back full circle to you:)

[bloosiern]

So she only ended up napping for 1hr (unsettled the last 15min or so) which means she was up by 120.  I tried for early BT at 630 as she seemed so shattered but she didn't fall asleep until 730.  She had a HORRIBLE night!  She was restless/whiny from 815 until 1100 when I rocked her (I felt so bad because she must've been so frustrated).  She ended up waking just after 5 but wouldn't go back to sleep.  What is going on?  I want my good sleeper back!

[jessmum46]

so kind of you to say so Lisa, I don't feel like a fount of knowledge but have been blessed with some great help and advice on this forum and hope I can do my bit to pay it forward

Does she have all of her 2y molars?  Any colds/illness brewing?  I've tended to find if things suddenly go totally haywire that there's usually something on top of OT and it sometimes just takes a while to show itself

[bloosiern]

She's had all her 2yr molars for several weeks now and other than the sleep issues she seems just fine.

I've really been racking my brain these last few days and, being totally honest, I have to admit that although I thought we kept a pretty good routine, it's actually been pretty off many times since the beginning of May.  We went on vacation the first of May (for 8 days) followed by an illness (stomach flu) shortly after we got back then we've had some family functions/committments that caused her to have some NND's or late BT's.

I think I just need to buckle down and get back to a consistent routine.  I really need to make sure DH stops letting her sleep so late so she can get to bed by 7...he doesn't get home until 445/500 so it can be tough at times.  Once her WU's get back to 630/7 maybe we can shift it forward to 730.

These next few weeks we don't have any committments so hopefully I can get things sorted out:)

[jessmum46]

I would agree I think, at this age consistency can be key.  Hopefully she will settle down quickly once she knows the expectations x