Feeding/routine - completely fed up!

[Jennafrappafrubalacca]

Hi everyone - this is my first post so please bare with my rambling! I hope I've posted in the right sub forum but it relates to bottle feeding and sleeping so please move if needed!

I have a 3 month old baby boy who is exclusively formula fed. He naturally put himself on the E.A.S.Y routine way before I read The Baby Whisperer and has generally always fed 3-4hrly. Up until recently he did classic 3hrly E.A.S.Y (awake for 1.5hrs, nap for 1.5hrs then feed) but he started to consistently not finish his bottles and never seemed hungry which meant he didn't take them great either. So he is now on a 3.5-4hrly EA.S.Y which goes a bit like this:

7am - Feed 5-6oz
9am - Nap
11am - Feed 5-6oz and play for 1.5-2hrs
1pm - Nap
3pm - Feed 5-6oz and play for 2-3hrs
(We aim for an evening cat nap but he often won't go down which is a whole different post)
7pm - Feed 5-6oz and bedtime routine
7:30pm - Bed
11pm - Dream feed 5-6oz (but often wakes up)
3-5am - Wakes for further feed which can vary from 3-5oz

He goes to bed like an absolute dream and self settles after his bath and throughout the night. Naps are a struggle which I will post about in the nap forum! He weighes 13lb and is gaining weight as per his centile. He sometimes suffers with wind but this seems worse in the day when he is more wakeful.

My question is am I on track with his bottle feeding? Should he ideally be on a 3hrly schedule given his age and that he's not sleeping through the night? How can I help him sleep through the night? I'm also confused as I know he should be STTN before a 4hrly routine but he takes the same amount of milk in 24hrs whether it's 3hrly or 4hrly. I have read SO much, Googled so much, been told so many times how well other people's babies are sleeping etc and I'm at my wits end. I'm so tired and see no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm grateful for the baby I have and the sleep I DO get (I know it could be much worse!) but I just need to know if I'm doing the right things with his routine/feeding to help facilitate a positive feeding and sleeping foundation for the future.

Please help advise me what I should aim for with his feeding!! 

[Lolly]

Welcome to the forums!

His feeding looks totally fine to me! At 3 months we would expect *most* babies to be on a 3 hour feeding cycle, but some feed more frequently, some less. The important thing to remember is that EASY is a routine NOT a schedule so following your baby's cues are more important than having it all times to the minute.

If you are feeding him when he is hungry and letting him take what he needs then you are doing it right! You could try the next sized teat if you are still on the first size, that sometimes helps them take bigger feeds.

Waking for 1 feed after a DF at this age is really good, some wake twice for a feed! Sleeping through is developmental as much as calorie intake related and most babies still need the nightfeed until well after they start solids (sorry!). They don't need to be STTN to move to a 4 hour EASY (my son would sill have been on a 3 hour EASY when he turned 2 if that was right ), that happens when they need more A time to get a decent nap. How many weeks is your LO - just 3 months or closer to 4 months?

Laura

[Jennafrappafrubalacca]

Hi Laura - thank you so much for the quick reply!

He only just turned 3 months a few days ago. It's SO reassuring to hear he's actually doing well - I feel like so many mums are telling me their baby sleeps through the night and its incredibly depressing! One thing I should add is that he doesn't always wake at 7am as if he manages longer overnigh he might not be hungry by 7 but we always wake him and feed him to start the day - is this appropriate?

He has started taking slightly less in the night than he used to (ever since we went longer between feeds I'd say) so I'm hoping he is weaning himself off the night time feed. My friend said she worked to drop the 23:00 feed rather than the middle of night one and her LO sleeps 7-7 - should we still offer a dream feed at 23:00 even though he never actually wakes up hungry for it? I worry he wouldn't go as long overnight without it.

[Lolly]

One thing I should add is that he doesn't always wake at 7am as if he manages longer overnigh he might not be hungry by 7 but we always wake him and feed him to start the day - is this appropriate?

Yes it is. I never woke mine, just started the EASY pattern from when they woke for the day (providing it was after 6am!), but if you want a regular start to the day you can wake at the time you want to.

He has started taking slightly less in the night than he used to (ever since we went longer between feeds I'd say) so I'm hoping he is weaning himself off the night time feed. My friend said she worked to drop the 23:00 feed rather than the middle of night one and her LO sleeps 7-7 - should we still offer a dream feed at 23:00 even though he never actually wakes up hungry for it? I worry he wouldn't go as long overnight without it.

To be honest I wouldn't actively wean a nightfeed at this age, they are too little and really do need the calories. If they do it by themselves then I think it's fine, but trying to settle a genuinely hungry baby wouldn't be easy!

With the dreamed, they aren't supposed to wake hungry for it, the idea is that you feed in their sleep before they wake hungry to tank them up and get a longer stretch of sleep before they wake again. Mine never took to the DF,so I just fed when they woke which was a bit before midnight and then again about 4 hours later at this age. Gradually then the feeds got later and the second feed shifted to a wake up feed and the first feed shifted to about 2am(ish). The DF/NF usually gets weaned around 8 months if they haven't dropped it by themselves. I would try it a bit earlier too, you ideally need to do it between 10pm and 11pm as later than that can cause sleep disturbance.

I wouldn't worry what other mums are saying too - it's a very rare baby that sleeps 7pm-7am with no feeds and no wake ups at all, especially at this age! Sleep now isn't an indication of how they will be as they grow either, my DS was a horrible sleeper until after his sister was born (I still have no idea why we thought a second one was a good idea ) but he has slept like a dream for many years now!

Laura