Reconsidering the whole bottle plan, help me talk this through?

[michaeljacknnugg]

So, the plan was always to introduce a bottle early on for this guy. Planning on using formula since pumping was pretty much the last straw for me with DS1 and I couldn't do it enough to offer a bottle every day.

Last time I hated feeding in public. And DS1 refusing a bottle made me feel really trapped, and like I could never have a break from caring for him.

Things feel different this time. I am actually really enjoying bf (so far) and feeding in public is a lot easier with the right clothes - and with my friends who are also feeding their boys. There's a local support group and I don't feel so alone.

Perspective is different, too. I know that in what seems like 2 minutes we will be weaning and I will be able to offer a cup of formula with his snacks if I choose to.

The big reason for offering a bottle is to enable me to swim with DS1 and have DH take DS2 on a Saturday morning. But I'm not sure it's worth the effort of sterilizing etc and offering every day when I could just wait and let him grow. Saturday mornings I could take DS2 to the pool as well and DH could continue to have his time (well, horses and food shop!) alonethat I think he benefits from.

The horses are in overnight now until Mayish, so leaving it and not bothering with bottles yet would enable DH to muck out etc in peace. Once they are out there is more flexibility to work around a baby and he could start taking him then.

I will talk to the boys about this too, just wondered if you ladies had any thoughts? Basically the options are to introduce one bottle of formula a day, or to not bother and wait to offer him formula in a cup when the time is right.

I'm not fussed about nights out, DS1 comes along with us when we go out generally and we are used to not having babysitters and going everywhere as a family unit.

[zissi]

you are totally right, the time when only you can feed your LO passes so quickly and you say that you enjoy BF now so you will miss it once its gone. hold off on the bottles I would say. apart from causing issues with supply they may also cause issues with nipple confusion and as a result you may need to wean earlier than you wanted. we had loads of BF problems and now LO is almost 7 months and we are still going strong. Im so happy about it. and you get more confident with the second one. and remember the way you feed your child is as it was intended by nature and the best thing you can do. don't mind the people around you, I know what you are talking about, I live in ireland where BF is not very common...

[michaeljacknnugg]

I don't think we will have supply issues as I have plenty of high quality milk (he's just gone up a centile) and he takes a dummy fine and then goes back to bf. It's more the faff if I am honest!

I will already be doing two trips to the yard to do the horses and either one or two school runs per day, starting in January. I'm dreading it!!!

[kayra]

If bf'ing is going well and you're enjoying it I'd say go for it and just introduce formula later. It doesn't sound like sthg that's going to really help you or free you to be honest and like you said the faff of making, sterilizing etc is a pain..so if you don't have to don't I'd say...

[michaeljacknnugg]

The family council says the same!

I guess I am a little worried about feeling differently later on and having missed a 'window of opportunity'. Is there one for introducing a bottle, does anyone know?

Today was so lovely, I was sat in a cafe full of mums and babies (looks like it's the local meeting spot) and an awful lot of them were feeding. Totally different vibe to last time when I very much felt like the odd one out.

[weaver]

There is no window of opportunity you will miss. You can not do it today and decide to do it next week. Enjoy what you have for now. Neither LO had ever formula, LO1 had EBM in a bottle once a day (because I felt I "should") to five months until I ditched the faff of pumping and bottles, and we were both so much happier.  LO2 was a totally bottle free baby and it was so easy (as you're finding out now, which is so wonderful). As he gets bigger, you'll be able to be more flexible with feeds, do split feeds, feed with friends etc, but in my heart I honestly find the rhetoric of "being free" from your baby not very helpful to women as sometimes they feel bad for wanting to be there.

On a side note, might be worth seeing if you've a La Leche League locally. Very supportive organisation. Lovely vibe. Same for you Zissi, I know there are branches in Ireland, you might find some like-minded friends.

[zissi]

Im involved with a local BF group and know quite a few breastfeeding people. Weaver did you find that BF and sleep training can be easily combined? I mean in terms of NF's etc? My LO still feeds twice per night plus a DF, Its ok for me but of course at some stage I would like to have feeding free nights...

[weaver]

Weaver did you find that BF and sleep training can be easily combined? I mean in terms of NF's etc? M

Yup, no problem.  My two woke up if hungry (or ill) had a feed and went back to sleep, varied with growth spurts but absolutely fine.  In the daytime, as they got around 4-6 mos we would do a 'main feed' and a wee top-up snack if needed during A time. Worked a treat.  No problems.  And BF was amazing for poorly babies.  Glad you've got a network

[*Ali*]

Personally I would hold off until at least 6mo before introducing any supplemental food such as formula. Exclusive Bfing is recommended until at least 6mo. Formula removes some of the protective properties of breast milk like lining the gut for example so that is something to consider.

My first two only really took a handful of bottles each in the early months and I think that is because I waited too long and didn't offer regularly enough. I probably could have forced the issue but there was lots of crying and since I wasn't returning to work and therefore didn't need to be away from them for extended periods I didn't push it. It did make if difficult for me to go out though.

With DD I was determined to get her to take a bottle. I pumped and offered her one every night at BT from 2-4mo and she cried for at least 5 mins before eventually taking the bottle every night and downing it all. It was very stressful and both DH and I started to feel like she was being bullied into taking it I then gave up for about 10 days and didn't offer the bottle at all. It was so much more peaceful. I offered her a few cups casually but she couldn't use them at all really and so much was getting wasted. I then offered the bottle again after the 10 days and she just started taking it. It was so strange how she didn't cry again when being offered a bottle after that 10 day break. Perhaps she just needed time to forget the negative association she seemed to have developed. So from 4.5-10mo she had a bottle at BT of EBM and I pumped at 10pm before going to bed. I then couldn't be bothered to be pumping every night and at 10mo I started BFing at BT again and I just offered the bottle when I needed to about once a week. Now at almost 12mo she only gets a bottle at BT if I go out or if we go somewhere noisy where she will be too distracted to BF. I BFed in public loads and everywhere in the early days but there's no way now that she would lie on me and feed without popping off and exposing me every few minutes. I do still offer occasionally but there is normally something more exciting going on. 

[michaeljacknnugg]

The deadline for him to be ok without me is when I go back to work in September - plenty of time yet .

If there is no window of opportunity then I would like to wait, I think. It's much less about 'should' than about what works for us as a family this time. I'd seen somewhere on the local bf group's fb page about people offering too late so that's what got me thinking.

[athenasmom]

Also, I think you mentioned on another thread that he is refluxy and has some tummy troubles. Then it is better for him to be on BM exclusively as long as possible. Adding formula can and most likely will upset his digestive system at first especially at this young age. So if you do not have to, I think the best is not to do it. I have introduced the bottle early with both because I had to go back to work soon. But I used expressed BM all the time and only introduced formula much later when I was not able to pump enough. I think taking the bottle has more to do with the temperament of the baby. My friend tried to introduce the bottle from birth so that she can have flexibility. But her DD never took it. She never took a dummy either. Both my kids took the dummy and a bottle with no problem. Does you DS2 take a dummy?

[michaeljacknnugg]

Yes, when he is struggling a good bum pat and a dummy sorts him out. He's needing it less in general but maybe continued use of a dummy will mean he accepts a bottle?

I would worry about formula upsetting his tummy too, which is why we've held off until now...we were planning on introducing a bottle by about week 4.

[athenasmom]

I don't know if there is really a connection between dummy and accepting a bottle but my experience with my kids and friends kids point to it. It seems that if they are ready to accept a dummy then usually bottle feeding is not an issue either. But that is of course just my humble opinion 

[*Liz*]

My DS1 took a bottle at 6 months, and DD at 8.5 months. DS1 was a bit of a fight  , DD was much easier.

So basically I think you can do it at any age really.

I'm not sure if dummies are related or not either. My DS2 was bottle fed and rejected his dummy at 3 months, rather oddly!!

[Katet]

I was going to do it with DS2, but given he was a 5min feeder it simply wasn't worth it, I really wasn't a parent who went out without children & the one time when I went to a work function & was gone for 6 hours (DS2 was almost 5mo) he took some milk from a sippy cup & we just managed, by around 6mo he was happily taking a small feed from a sippy cup & so he never had a bottle, it was just easier to work with what was happening at the time than it was to do what I thought I'd like to do before I got to that place KWIM.

I've realised along the way it's not the plans we make but how we work with what works for the family unit that is more important... I am someone who likes to plan, but I've learnt that often the plan (doing it ahead of time) is more about my sanity than it is about something I actually need to put into place... ie if I need a plan I have one, otherwise go with what is working.