Chronic EW

[jessmum46]

My feeling is probably you are going to have to work through that 'freaking out' stage, being there for him and reassuring but being prepared for some major upset.  There isn't really a way to do it without I don't think at this age  - even the 'no cry' author says the same for toddlers.  I would as step one get that cot side up, with DH holding his hand.  I'd then try introducing a lovey (blankie-type), so DH holds his hand in the lovey so hopefully transferring some of that security feel to the lovey instead of the hand.  And then go for something like sitting beside cot but no touch, halfway to door, in doorway, outside doorway.  The key is to keep moving forwards - and expect a bit of upset with each new step.  He and you can do this And you all deserve a better sleep!

[*foxy*]

Thanks Katherine. Might as well start straight away! Sounds like a good plan. Better sleep would make a big difference to all of us!

[jessmum46]

How are you Kate?  Thinking of you all xx

[*foxy*]

Hi. Thank you    Well I was planning to start straight away but ds had an unsettled 20 min nap at the childminders on monday so was beside himself at BT. Then was up at 4.30 on Tuesday. Didn't manage a great catch up nap on Tuesday as I was at an interview so he was with mum. I was a wreck by BT - both kids were sobbing as my mum had to go back home (she lives 2.5 hrs away) OH was back late and I just felt sick. DS was up at 4.50 today and managed a 1.5 hour nap with the CM. He's with my in laws tomorrow who seem to only get a 20 min nap during the day despite me asking them to stick to our routine. So ds will be up at 4.30 again on Friday probably. I never get any quality time with him as it's usually spent trying to catch him up. We can't go to groups as he's so badly behaved due to being exhausted.

Seeing the paediatrician on Saturday. I might ask to try infant gaviscon again. DS wakes a lot upset and will only settle with a drink of water. I'm wondering if some nights he's getting a bit of reflux again. I don't know   I'm on board with getting him to independently sleep but I'm hanging on by my fingernails atm.

[jessmum46]

(((Hugs))), wish I could wave a magic wand and get you all a break

[*foxy*]

He is waking every morning at 4.20 am. I'm so exhausted that I've had to take time off work. It's like his body clock is set to get up at that time now. He wants water all night long too. He's sleeping for 9 hours at night - and that's not even all the way through.

Do we keep him up later? Cut his nap? Is independent sleep the only solution?  - We are starting that tonight

[jessmum46]

Oh Kate you must be so so tired.  I'm sorry it's been so tough. With the water can you leave a non-spill cup where he can get it himself?  I assume he is pain-free from the reflux point of view now?  No ongoing discomfort making it hard for him to sleep?

If the discomfort has gone I do think tackling independent sleep is the way to go. It's just impossible to tell what else is wrong - routine etc - without those good sleep habits.  Can your health visitor offer you some support with it, a hand to hold, any other advice?  Some support for you? 

[Haribo2012]

Hi there, I agree with Katherine that if he's pain free then the self settling is going to be the thing that helps him.

We had a phase of 4.30 wake ups at this age but DS1 was an IS so it was a case of return to bed and keep doing that until he got out the habit. We did end up sleeping on a mattress on his floor on the odd occasion and introducing the sun clock at that time to get him to understand we stay in bed.

I've never tried but have you tried wake to sleep?

[*foxy*]

Hi

Thank you for your replies. We saw the paediatrician on Saturday who thinks he might be constipated. We're keeping a poo diary (the joys!) to see if there's a pattern at all. If it looks like it could be constipation then we can try Movicol. I'm letting him have a drink at night but once he's had some I'm then ignoring him and he seems to go off ok. Sometimes he keeps asking for more and more drink but I'm not sure he actually needs it. Then that causes him to wake up wet as his nappy over flows! Also reducing his BT milk drink to see if that helps at all. And then we're encouraging more fluids during the day.

He self settles at the CM's who he goes to twice a week so he can do it. We will gradually reduce our presence during sleep time. We can definitely try a non spill cup. Haven't tried W2S Zoe - I'm too scared to!

[creations]

I'm wondering if some nights he's getting a bit of reflux again. I don't know

Hi there, jumping in if you don't mind.
To me this is worth following up. You had a gut feeling there and often those are the ones we need to follow. I know you took him to your peadi and that you are keeping a poo diary but does constipation lead to crying wake ups with the need to drink? I'm not sure.  having experienced a reflux flare up or two with my own DS and having to put my foot down with the doc and really push for meds (which resolved the reflux symptoms almost immediately) I do feel that a gut feeling is not to be ignored. Took me a while to get meds but so glad I did, he was not on them for very long and the flare up passed and he came back off again. Happened a few times now.

I would look for that possible reflux to be fully controlled and then go for the sleep training full on. I mean *full on*.  I would not try for catch up sleeps or routine tweeks, I would set a routine and stick to it regardless of how much he slept or didn't and all out sleep train during those days/nights between going to his grandparents.  You can likely have it *done* in that time, you have said yourself it will not take long as his room is small...and yet sleep training has been postponed and delayed for various reasons. I would imagine you feel way too exhausted to even think about it but the exhaustion is going to pass, and will pass sooner if you go ahead with the sleep training sooner rather than later.

lots of hugs xx

[jessmum46]

How are you doing?  Any progress?

[*foxy*]

Hi.

Thank you for all the advice

Well he's a bit variable but we're getting more nights where he's sleeping from BT to around 4.30. The last 3 days he's kind of gone back to sleep until 5.30. He's not completely up for the day at 4.30 is what I'm trying to say! OH is still staying in his room but not holding his hand anymore. The most WU's we're getting is 2

[jessmum46]

That's a lot of positives pleased for you!  Keep taking steps forward, can DH move a little away from the cot?  Well done x