Pls HELP! My 10 week old wont sleep at night!

[Rupi_no1]

First post so looking for help!
My baby boy has been roughly following EASY routinesince around 3 weeks and we used to.dreamfeed at 10pm and he would wake at 12 or at the latest 1am. He was only having 3oz then. Then the last week or so i didnt wake him for his 10pm dreamfeed and he slept from 8 to sometimes 1.30am! Hes been toying with his feeding dropping how much he drinks to 3oz but now hes back on 5oz i thought id try him back on dreamfeed at 10pm. Total fail. He woke at 1am more wired and awake than when he sleeps from 8pm to 1am
He used to go back to sleep with some shush pat now hes just kicking about wildly in his moses basket and im just crying my eyes out with exhaustion. And he's jyst had 5oz!!!!     I try keeping him as awake as i can daytime but if hes tired nothing can stop him catnapping.
Am i doing something wrong?
Should I not bother with dreamfeed? Or does it take a while to work?
Im so exhausted
I have fibromyalgia and get zero rest with the baby daytime and i hardly sleep at night as he wakes so many times. When he slept 8pm to 1am, he would wake maybe 4ish then up at 7am. If i dreamfeed he wakes up more?! he drinks less than 4oz i only get 2 hrs between feeds!
Everyone is telling me my baby should be sleeping through now and i feel like such a failure.
Pls help this tired first time mum!!!!! I want some sleep. Sorry for long post but after 10 weeks of very little progress i really need some help

[ginger428]

Rupi, so sorry to hear how hard it's been for you! (((HUGS)))

Everyone is telling me my baby should be sleeping through now and i feel like such a failure.

First, please try your best not to bear mind to this... as a first time mom myself, I've had to dispel many voices that said my baby "should" be this way or that.  THe most reassuring things I hear are that each baby is unique and special, and handle sleep, eating, behavior differently. While I still gather suggestions and guidance, I try to remember this every day as I parent my son.

Also, he is still very young and that this is normal and there are changes almost every 2-4 weeks for the first few months, so hang in there and remember that it will pass!

I would try not waking him for the dreamfeed for now since it's causing more issues than necessary... eventually, in the 3rd month, you will probably find that DS will wake 2x a night for feeds, at about the same times.  Of course, this can change too and we can assess then. Also, try burping him twice after his feed just to make sure the gas isn't bothering him. He's also getting close to his 3mo growth spurt, which will cause him to wake more frequently.  Is there any support you can get during the next couple of weeks?

[Rupi_no1]

No support other than husband who is great with sharing night feeds.
I want to drop the dream feed as it seems pointless as he wakes the same time as without it! But is it true the more milk  ( as in ounces) he drinks he will start sleeping longer?

[ginger428]

Yes, in a way but some kiddos need more frequent feeds than others. Mine did, he was on the smaller side.

[AbbG]

Hi, just a word of encouragement from another mum... as mentioned above baby's sleep changes so much in the first 12 weeks, then again at 4 months, 6 months etc.

try not to take too much notice of other people who tell you that their baby who is the same age or younger "sleeps though" as in my opinion this is often an embellishment of the truth or just a plain lie. Ive seen people who put their bub down at midnight and he sleeps till 6 saying he is sleeping through! or even that bub sleeps through "with a quick feed at midnight and 4am" or similar. there are some true examples out there, but really not many!

The ladies here are great, i'm sure they'll be able to help, but as a mum who's bub is 8 months and still feeding once a night (#1 slept through from just before 8 months, so I'm a little disappointed to not have had an unbroken night of sleep in more than 8 months!) I can tell you it does pass, it does get easier and before too long you'll forget this sleep deprivation!

Good luck x

[FPT23]

Rupi_no1

First of all, many many hugs! The first few months are always the hardest. I myself have a 3 month old atm, and I can definitely understand how frustrating, hard, and tiring it all is. I'm happy to hear you have wonderful support from your husband, at the very least. One thing I can assure you, these small little phases will pass and it will eventually be a thing of the past. Hugs!! Your always welcomed on here to come for some advice, and good positive chats! We've all been there and can understand! Please, feel free to jump on here anytime you need to in the first 3 months, so many things change. I say things start to "normalize" and calm down, or you find more of a "LOOSE routine" around 3 or so months. Just hang in there- things get better with time! Don't worry about other moms and their babies! I agree 100% w/ ginger! Majority is all fluff and "sleeping through" is different for everyone.

IRT the DF, I would not incorporate it if it seems to cause more problems than not. All babies are different! My first used the DF and with my second it made things wonky and I stopped after the 3rd attempt if he does better without it, then skip it. It's not a rule to have it. Some babies just do better without it.

Also, keeping up more during the day can cause more problems for NWs too. Try to do you absolute best to have baby well rested and napped during the day- what is your easy like? I know there may not be a real pattern but just to check the A times? Do you feel he has already differentiated his days from nights?  Also, is there any concerns such as reflux, gas, tummy troubles? Waking to eat 1-3 times a night is actually quite normal at this age! All babies differ. Night wakes will be a thing of the past. Think of it this way, would you put a 3 mo on the floor and expect him to crawl? No matter how many times you put him on the floor and encourage him, he won't crawl, Kwim? Sleeping will come I promise. Developmentally they just aren't ready just yet, hang in there just continue to feed baby as growth spurts continue to happen rapidly through the first 4 months.

With that said, more ounces doesn't always mean baby will sleep longer. Yes, formula fed babies sleep longer since formula digests slower... But it doesn't always insure "sleeping through the night" ...if you see him downing bottles, you can gradually add an ounce to his daytime bottles. That could be a GS happening. If baby was sleepin longer then randomly begins to wake and seem to want more at nights, just add more to his daytime feeds so he's not making up for those feeds at night, yk?


Sorry for the long post but hang in there!!! It will pass quickly (even though I'm sure right now it doesn't seem that way) hugs