12 month old sleep questions

[albers30]

My little girl just turned 12 months old and I'm struggling with what to do with her sleep habits.  I had questions posted before on bedtime issues and it was recommended to move forward with a transition of 1 nap so currently her schedule is

Wake 7am five or take 30 minutes
Nap 11/11:30-1
Bedtime between 7 & 8

She generally wakes once and resettles quickly 2-3 hours after going to bed then again around 2 am at which time she's more difficult to re-settle and sometimes just comes to bed with us because I value my sleep which is minimal as it is. 

I'd like to make her bedtime  a little earlier but with twin 3 year olds who go to bed around 8 its really hard.  So here's my two questions.
First, she's a perfectly happy baby, rarely if ever cranky and we used to struggle to get her to go to sleep for naps and bedtime but now there is no struggle for nap unless for some reason she takes a short nap like 30 minutes early and needs a second nap that can be difficult and bedtime fighting is minimal but I feel like she's still tired.  She often acts sleepy an hour or two after getting up in the morning which shouldn't happen for a 1 year old right?  Does she need to go back to 2 naps, earlier bedtime, longer nap??? 

Secondly, while we're not having much of a fight at bedtime now she's suddenly gotten more clingy at bedtime and is demanding more hands on soothing to fall to sleep.  How can I handle this and help her get back to more independent sleeping?

[Shiv52]

I think the being tired early is just her getting used to one nap.

At bedtime I think the clingy behavior could be a wee bit of OT. The nap is quite early for one nap day. I'd work on moving that nap to 12pm so the A time before bed isn't so long. I think realisitically an 11 hour night is fine at this age and routine but if you get the nap moved and OT under control you could likely do bedtime about 7.30.

[*Ali*]

If you take her into bed when she wakes in the early hours then she is going to keep on waking for that. The only way to stop that is to stop doing it. If you don't mind that though then of course it's fine to continue doing

I'd go for a wiwo at BT if she was going down independently before.

You could also try pushing the nap a touch later to avoid the mammoth A time before bed.

[albers30]

I'll work on pushing the nap later although it often leads to a bit of a fight to go down then or a not long enough nap but that should get better as she gets used to it right? That mid morning grumpiness is a pain too but doable.  If she naps 90 minutes in the day and 10.5-11 hours at night which is her norm is that enough sleep at her age?

[*Ali*]

It's on the lower side. 13.5hrs is more average but if she's happy on that amount of sleep consistently  then it may be all she needs.

I'd push the nap later very gradually so she doesn't get OT. Just 10 minutes every few days and she shouldn't notice too much.

[albers30]

Other then that 9-10am clingy a little grumpy time she's a very happy little girl.  I'll give that a go and see what happens for the nap/bedtime.  I have been doing kind-of a WIWO thing at bedtime and we've made some slow progress I think.  I've tried gradual withdrawal but if I'm in the room at all she'll just get up and want to play and this is never ending.  As for the co-sleeping at night I really don't mind it and it does allow me more sleep but I know she's better off sleeping in her own bed especially with twin 3 year olds that often come to our room asking for things in the middle of the night or crawling in bed for a little cuddle time then back to bed and a husband who is on call on night intermittently but I just don't know how to go about breaking this habit without us both losing a lot of sleep as she's a very stubborn one.  I'd like to get the 1 nap transition going well and then tackle the co-sleeping.  Suggestions for that?

[*Ali*]

There will be lost sleep for a few days but think of it as short term pain for long term gain. You can just resettle her in bed until she sleeps like you do for earlier wakings.

Is the room really dark? If she can see you you can sit facing away and just use your voice to soothe her. We just used to shush if they cried out and occasionally say our sleepy phase. "It's just sleepy time. Lie down and go to sleep now please."

[albers30]

Its pretty dark but she can see me.  She only responds to me talking to her if she's quiet and pretty settled.  Unfortunately these wakings, because of her stubbornness are screaming and banging on her bed because she wants me to pick her up and take her to our room so she's not easy to settle in any way.

[*Ali*]

No it's not easy the first few days but if you are consistent it should improve.

[Martini~]

I would also think that you might do a very short 10min catnap at that 9:30-10:00 when she is grumpy and have a nap at 12/12:30. This first short nap can be done every couple of days so she would be less grumpy. My experience with DS is that at 11-15mo he was ready for one nap but having one nap every single day was hard for him and a short catnap here and there helped. Some of your night wakings and her cliginess at BT would also look to me as OT.